Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Motivation

What Motivates you?  How do you stay motivated?  These are questions I've gotten from several people over the last few months.  There's not an easy answer for this because with me as with most people I find motivation in several different places.

We all have days that we're not as motivated as other days & sometimes there are days where we don't feel like doing much of anything.  To me these are all part of the natural cycle of nature.  We all have good times & we also have bad times.  We need to have both to learn to enjoy the good times, I wrote about this in my "Opposites" blog a week or so ago.  No matter how connected you are to God/universe you will still have this natural cycle.  The difference is the more you are connected to God/universe the more you'll understand why you are having a bad time and this connection will also make the bad times shorter & easier to take.

So back to motivation, in my daily life I have several things that I tend to need motivation to deal with.  The first is the day in general.  The way I deal with this is two fold.  The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is lay in bed and be grateful for another day.  Then I thank God/universe for all the amazing things that are going to happen to me today.  The second part of my daily motivation is to pay attention, for the first few hours of everyday I pay attention to as many small things as I can.  In these small things I find positive things.  It could be just a feeling I get from reading something or the smell of the State park that I ride through on my bike.  Between these two things I tend to start the day very positive & this feeling sets the tone for the rest of the day.

The next thing I need motivation for on a daily basis is my bike riding.  Many of you know that I've been riding my bike every morning for the last couple of months.  I am currently riding 30 miles a day through the State park that's about 5 miles from our home.  But this riding is not always easy for me.  There are mornings when I wake up that I just ache & I really don't want to get on the bike & ride.  The motivation I use for this is also two fold.  I first tell myself the benefits of riding the bike.  I talk to myself about how this will help my physical conditioning & overall health.  The second thing I do is tap into my competitive nature.  I tell myself that I'm not going to let this ride beat me.  I'm going to make it through no matter how tough it becomes.

The final thing I need daily motivation for is looking through job ads.  As many of you know I've been laid off for 3 months now & on a daily basis I go through 100 - 150 job ads looking for jobs I believe are a match for me.  If any of you have done this, it's very dull & not a lot of fun.  My motivation is again is looking for the positive, I try to tell myself that the prefect job will be found in this daily review of ads.  I believe that only through the action of looking can I find the perfect job even if this job isn't in the ads I review.  Action often sets things in motion with God/universe.

The bottom line with motivation should be whatever works best for you.  I believe by finding the positive in everything situation you can always find some motivation.  This motivation adds to your overall joyful/positive life because the more motivated you are the better you'll feel about anything that comes into your life.

Until tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "Find motivation in the small things everyday.  For true motivation will lift you to a more positive life." 

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Control

Control is an issue we've touched on before but I believe we should take a deeper look at today.  What is Control?  Do you consider yourself controlling? Do you feel like you have to have control over everything in your life?  Let's take a look at each one of these questions & see how each relates to the issue of control.

Control to me is taking over everything in your life.  Making everything work on your schedule with no margin for error.  If your in a relationship or have children it includes the need to know what they are doing & where they are at every minute of everyday.  Do you get upset if things don't go exactly according to plan?  Do you feel like you can't handle anything happening outside of your plan?  These questions may open your eyes to the second question whether or not you are controlling.  The first step to letting go of control in your life is to understand that you are controlling or that you need to have control in your life. These are slightly different issues of the same coin.  The need to have control is slightly different then being controlling.  The answer to needing control can be a past issue that you need to work through.

I have never been a person that needed control in his life.  I've always tried to enjoy the now but there were times in my life when I decided to take control of a certain issue.  I made up my mind that I was going to make this happen no matter what.  Unfortunately, I've found out the hard way that this isn't the best way to be.  I usually was able to make things happen & I would end up getting what I wanted but most of the time it was never what I thought it was going to be. 

One of the best examples of this would be a job.  I decided I wanted a certain job & did everything I could to make sure I got this job.  The once I had the job it wasn't what I thought it would be at all.  In fact it turned out to be a job that I didn't want at all.

So why did this happen?  Control, negates everything good in the universe.  It destroys synchronicity and the natural flow of things.  You may feel like you're happy because things are the way you want them to be.  But, the truth is that if you let go of control & become one with God/universe your life will unfold into a new an amazing life that you can only imagine.

Letting go of control doesn't mean not doing anything.  It simply means letting things happen as they should not making them happen.  For true fulfillment in your life you need to let go of control & release your desires into the universe.  The end result of this will be a more joyful/positive life.

Till Tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "Release the need for control in your life.  Allow the universe to work for you & you will discover a more joyful life."

Monday, September 7, 2009

Service to Others

On this "Labor Day" in the US I thought it was time to write about the most important way to have a more joyful/positive life.  That way is service to others, what does service to others mean?  I think it means whatever you'd like it to mean but, to me, it means giving of yourself to someone else.  This can be through volunteering with a local charity or shelter. It can mean helping a neighbor or someone stuck on the side of the road.  It may also mean service to your country either in the active military or through organizations like the Peace Corps.

The bottom line to me, is that you give of yourself to others.  This giving of ones self opens you up to receive everything you give back in a new & wondrous way.  I know what you're thinking....I have a very busy life how am I suppose to find time to volunteer or give to someone else?  Well, I used that excuse before in my life.  The act of "service to others" doesn't mean that you have to set-up a time to volunteer every week or squeeze it into a small piece of time around everything else you're doing.  It means to open yourself to others understanding that we are all divine beings & all connected.  The way you do this is truly up to you, it's the idea of looking first to give, first to help that will bring more joy to your life.  The rewards you receive from helping others far out weigh anything that you give up.

Find a way to be in service to others today & your life will begin to change around you!

Finally, a small side note:  To all our service men & women who are in action across this wonderful world of ours or who are home after serving their time to their country.  Thank you for your service & sacrifice to help keep this country & the world free. 

Until tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "Giving of ones self in service to another is truly the greatest gift of love you can ever give."

Friday, September 4, 2009

Judging Others

Do you judge others?  Do look at someone & immediately say they are this or they are that?  Do you put everyone in your life into boxes?  This person is my friend but not a good friend because of xyz.  This person isn't that bright.  Be honest with yourself, is this what you do?

Judging others & giving them labels is one of the quickest ways to disconnect from God/universe but one of the easiest things to fall into.  The reason why we feel comfortable in judging people is because of our EGO.  We feel better if we can put other people in a box & especially a box that's not as good as me.

The 5th verse of Tao Te Ching states: "Heaven & earth are impartial; they see the 10,000 things as straw dogs.  The sage is not sentimental; he treats all his people as straw dogs.  The sage is like heaven & earth; To him none are especially dear, nor is there anyone he disfavors.  He gives & gives, without condition, offering his treasures to everyone.  Between heaven & earth is a space like a bellows; empty & inexhaustible, the more it is used, the more it produces.  Hold on to the center.  Man was made to sit quietly & find the truth within."

What does this mean to me?  We are all the same, we are all divine beings created by a Divine source.  On a very basic level we are all energy & our energy is connected to everything & everyone.  If you look for the divine in everyone you meet you will not be inclined to judge.

The old adage "You can't judge a book by it's cover" is very true & you'll never know what someone can bring into your life unless you listen with an open heart.  Move past the EGO & into your soul, for in your soul we are all one!

Have a great weekend!  Till Monday,


Bill

Quote of the day: "We are all divine beings created from a divine source.  Open your heart to others & let go of judgment."

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Resistance

What's your biggest resistance?  What daily actions do you take that you feel resistance to?  Resistance is an interesting Paradox most people think that when they have an automatic resistance to something that there's a good reason for it.  I disagree, the only time that resistance has a deeper meaning is when you are living in the moment & connected to your soul.

So what is resistance?  It's the EGO's fear of change or anything that's different.  One of the quickest ways to change your life to a more joyful/positive life is to pay attention to the things you quickly resist.  This resistance is normally old patterned behavior that the EGO doesn't want to let go of. 

Remember from the blog I wrote on the "EGO" that the EGO lies.  It wants what's easiest & doesn't want change.  Resistance is one of it's first lines of defense, that's why paying attention to it is so important.

In "Perception" we talked a lot about the way you filter everything that comes into your life.  Most of this information is stuff that has been ingrained in us since we were a child.  The battle we always have as we move to enlightenment is to be able to leave the messages we learned, but that don't ring true to our soul, behind.  Most of our automatic reactions are learned behavior.  So, if your parents were prejudice against African-Americans until you unlearn that prejudice & challenge it, your first reaction is to feel uncomfortable or worse around African-Americans.

I'm not trying to imply that everything you learned as a child is wrong.  Instead I'm trying to point out how difficult it is to move past those automatic responses.  The best way to do this is by paying attention to resistance.  Resistance is the first marker of fear, if we can move past these automatic responses, past resistance & beyond fear we can lead a more joyful/positive & fulfilling life.

Until Tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "Resistance is the language of the EGO, move past resistance and lead a more joyful life."

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Opposites

Have you ever thought about the opposite side of you?  Do you accept your negative emotions?  How about your negative behavior?  Can you look at yourself honestly in the mirror?

The whole natural world is created on opposites, otherwise it wouldn't exist.  There has to be a winter in order to have a summer, light to dispel the darkness.  In Chinese philosophy this is shown with the symbol of Yin & Yang which many of us have seen or know.  The idea behind Yin & Yang is that there is a balance to everything & in order to be a whole person we need this balance as well.

The questions I asked above may be difficult questions for some, but in order to grow & have a more joyful/positive life we need to accept & acknowledge our negative side.  If instead we choose to just bury it or ignore it.  The negative will always come back into our lives & it will continue to hold us back.

When I wrote the blog entitled "reflections" I mentioned how people will come into your life that annoy you right away & that these people are reflecting a piece of yourself back to you that you don't want to acknowledge or that you don't like about yourself.  This will always be the case God/universe will always find away to bring back these negative emotions until you accept these emotions as part of who you are.

For a lot of my younger life I was known to have a very bad temper.  I didn't get angry often but when I did get angry I would get very angry.  There were many reasons for this but most of it centered around my feelings of insecurity & not feeling good enough.  What happened to me in order to defend my point, so I wouldn't feel like I was wrong, was I got very loud & angry.  Until I accepted this negative behavior & until I resolved my insecurities I couldn't move past this negative emotion.  I still have, on a very rare occasion, this negative emotion. It will always be a part of me.  But now that I understand it & accept it, I'm able to live a more joyful/positive life.

There are many more examples of this not only in my life but in all your lives.  In order to love greatly you need to know hate.  In order to know good times you have to have experienced bad times.  This balance is always there and necessary.

Look into your soul & accept all the negative as an equal part of who you are.  By accepting & understanding this "dark side" of you, you can expand your joy & live a more positive/joyful life.

Until tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "We are all made up of light & dark, accept both parts of yourself & you will grow to have a more joyful life."

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Being "Not good enough"

Over the last 3 months I have tried to discuss many broad issues that occurred in my life.  I've tried to guide you through the things I've learned to help all of you live a more joyful/positive life.  It occurred to me the other day that the one subject I haven't really touched on is the subject that had an overriding effect on my life.  The feeling of not being good enough.  I realized that this issue is probably common amongst all of us, so here we go.

I believe parents in general don't try to cause issues with their children & often they believe that what they are doing or saying will truly help.  That was not the case for me.  I have mentioned before that growing up I had a difficult relationship with my father.  The bottom line was that it seemed to me that no matter what I did it wasn't good enough for him & to me, the approval of my father was very important.

This caused a great deal of issues in my life.  There was a positive side to it, it gave me an undying will to push on & prove him wrong.  But, no matter how much success I had in my life (personally or professionally) it never felt satisfying.  I was outwardly very self confident & successful but inside I was the little boy who just wanted to know he did good.  This need for approval at times would disrupt my life & make it more difficult to move forward with my life.

So, how did I get through this? & what can you do if you feel the same way? I first started to truly deal with this issue with the death of my father in 2006.  I was overwhelmed with grief and never truly understood why.  It took me nearly a year of "working through" this grief before I realized that part of the grief was the fact that I would never hear him say "you did a great job".  Although this process helped me the true turning point was in 2007 when I hired Susie Wise-Peterson as my life coach.  When these issues would come come up she would ask me just one question "How's that working for you, Bill?".  I realized then that I was holding onto something that was only holding me back.  I knew that I could never grow into the person I wanted to be without letting go of this need for approval.

So how did I get past it?  I spent a lot of time thinking about that question & the bottom was this:  First I wrote my Dad a letter saying to him that I realized that he was only trying to do his best & that I forgave him for making me feel like I was never good enough.  I also spent a lot of quiet time thinking about how he would respond to the letter.  Then and only then I brought that insecure feeling to my heart.  I felt the fear, I felt like that little boy who just wanted his Daddy to love him and then I let it go!  I told myself this is not me, this feeling wasn't working for me & I am good person.  Then anytime after that when a situation came up & I began to feel those old feelings I continued to let them go.  I changed my thoughts to all the successes I've had in my life.  This change in thought & the reattachment of success instead of the feeling of not being good enough changed my first thoughts to the successes I've accomplished.  I no longer feel that emptiness.  I had moved past this issue by forgiveness, letting the issue go & changing my thoughts.

You can move through any past issue by trusting in this process.  Remember that we are all divine beings we can do anything we set our mind to.  Believe in yourself because God/universe believes in you!

Till tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "You are a beautiful divine being who can accomplish anything you put your mind to! Believe in yourself, find joy today!!