Guilt

One of the deepest negative emotions we have is Guilt. Guilt has been used to manipulate people for thousands of years. Guilt is one of the main differences between us & other animals on our planet. Guilt is ingrained in our culture & in most of the major religions in the world. It can be one of the most difficult negative emotions to move beyond.

So, have you ever felt guilt? Do you know how to move beyond it? The basis of guilt is the fact that we are extremely hard on ourselves & the way to move beyond is to forgive yourself. We all make mistakes & no matter what mistake we make in our life, the way to move past the mistake is forgiveness. I know this sounds easy & to some extent it is. The hard part is to actually forgive yourself.

Remember that whatever happens in your life, once it's done it's in the past & can't be changed. We all battle with our past & the only way to move beyond the past is to forgive yourself or the others that have done you wrong. So, how do we forgive ourselves? For me, the first step is to realize that I am an imperfect being. I make mistakes, it's part of being human. Then I accept responsibility for the mistake I made. What does that mean? Correcting the mistake as best as I can. Asking for forgiveness from the other people that were involved in my mistake or admitting that I was the one that did something.

The next step for me is to allow myself the time to feel remorse for what I did. Once I move beyond that step, I forgive myself & I ask God/universe to forgive me as well. We live in a beautiful world & one of the most amazing things about it is that if we are truly sorry for our mistake we will always be forgiven. Once I forgive myself I let go of the guilt.

I live each day as a new beginning. This way I'm always in the present moment. Part of this process to let go of the past & part of letting go of the past is releasing guilt & forgiving myself. You are beautiful person but you'll never be perfect. Understand your faults, forgive yourself & move on to a more joyful life!

Have a great weekend,

Till Monday,

Bill

Quote of the day:"Guilt is one of the deepest negative emotions. Forgive yourself & let go of the guilt & you will discover a more joyful life!"

Being able to Forgive

Are you able to forgive others? or do you always hold a grudge? Forgiveness can be one of the hardest lessons we all need to learn. Sure at times it's easy to tell someone that you forgive them, but do you really? Or do you bury the hurt feelings you have?

Forgiveness is difficult for us because we know we've been wronged & our sense of fairness says that the person that wronged us should have to face some kind of punishment. The truth is that forgiveness can set us free. It is only through the act of forgiveness that we can move beyond the tragedies of our own life. By forgiving & moving beyond the pain of the circumstances, we discover a deeper love then we would ever know without learning to forgive.

Too often we say the words "I forgive you" & don't really mean what we're saying. Even if we're able to move forward with the person, we either hold a deep seated resentment about what they did to us or we choose to never trust them again. Both of these reactions are normal but extremely counterproductive. By forgiving another we aren't caving in on what we believe we are moving above the hurt & opening our heart to love.

One of the best ways to move beyond the past is through forgiveness. Whatever has happened to us in the past, we need to remember it's in the past. Once anything happens to us it can't be changed, so to move beyond the past we need learn to forgive. I try to remember two basic things: 1) We are all human beings & as such we all make mistakes. I am no better than you so I have no right to judge you. 2) Most people try to do the best they can. Their best may not be what we want to see but most people try to do their best.

These two truths helped me move beyond many of the things that have happened to me in my life. I learned to forgive, understanding that the people that hurt me were only trying to do what they thought was right & that they did the best they could. Even in circumstances of tragic proportion, Forgiveness will free us to live a better life.

So how do we forgive? I believe that forgiveness is a very personal process. I have found couple things that worked well for me. I sit quietly & focus on the pain that the other person has caused in my life. I allow myself to feel these feelings & then I let them go. I release these feelings to God/universe and my soul is lifted up. I feel love & a great calm. The other way I've handled this process is to write down everything that this person did to me & how what they did to me made me feel. Then I either rip up the paper or light it on fire. As the paper is being destroyed I again release those feelings & I am feel lifted up & freed from the situation.

Forgiveness is the only way to move forward in your life. It helps us learn to love regardless of the mistakes of the other person. Believe in forgiveness, discover true love & find more joy in your life.

Till tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day:"Forgiveness moves us beyond the past. It teaches us to love unconditionally & opens our life to discover more joy."

Relationships

Relationships can be an amazing addition to your quest for a more joyful life. The love you discover in another person can lift you to new heights. The drawback is that instead of having love within yourself to give to someone else we expect the other person to give us love to fill us up. Love is truly the answer for everyone but we need to begin with loving ourselves first. Without love of yourself any relationship will run into problems down the road. Discover the love we all have inside of us & you'll have more love in your life then you can imagine.

On your journey to self discovery the support of a partner can help you overcome the demons of the past but there are a few things to be careful of. I unfortunately discovered these the hard way in the past.

1. Change - although you may be going through a great deal of change individually in your journey, you can't change your partner. Change is a personal choice & even when you've discovered things in your journey that really help you. Your partner may not be helped by the same discoveries or just simply may not want to change at all.

2. Control - When we feel like we have so many "balls" up in the air & we're trying to deal with all of them. One of the first things we try to do is to take control over everything in our lives to be able to handle it better. The truth is that we can't control anything in our life except for ourselves & our reaction to whatever happens. This is a hard lesson for some people. Observe life & listen to the messages that God/universe is sending you don't try & "make" things happen.

3. Rescue - When we are injured ourselves we look for someone to be partnered with that we feel we can rescue. It makes us feel better about who we are to be able help someone else overcome their demons. The truth is that as in #1 we can't "will" someone better & we can't hurt deeply enough to remove the pain from someone else. If you want to help others (which is a great thing to do) volunteer for organizations & give freely of yourself to causes.

4. Forgiveness - The greatest gift you have to give in a relationship is forgiveness. Remember the reason why you feel in love with person & understand that we are all human & therefore imperfect. Forgive with all your heart & let go of the mistakes your partner has made.

Remember that we are all on our own journey & together we are always stronger then on our own. Discover the beauty of the people in our life & cherish each relationship you have. As I've said in the past; every person that enters our life is there for a reason, discover that reason & the universe will unfold before you. Love with all your heart & live a more joyful life.

Till Monday...enjoy your weekend,

Bill

Quote of the day: "A relationship can be a beautiful way to discover a more joyful life."

Perfection

With the Olympics on my mind I thought about striving for perfection. Do you try to be perfect? Do you expect others to be perfect? These are both very difficult questions. I use to be a person who always strove for perfection & expected everyone else in my life to be perfect. For me this came from my feeling of never being good enough in my father's eyes. To make up for that feeling I tried to be perfect in everything that I did & I would get very anger with the others in my life when they made mistakes. But I would, of course, get even more angry with myself when I made a mistake.

This desire to be perfect was a driving force for many of the early years of my life. It totally consumed me & although I was still a positive person the life I lead was not very fulfilling. In fact my life was very inconsistent even when I always made the "right" decisions. The problem is that we are all humans & as human beings we make mistakes. It is through this realization that no matter how hard I try, I will make mistakes that I began my transformation.

Accepting that we all make mistakes & forgiving ourselves & others for the mistakes we make can move us to a new understanding of who we are. Striving for perfection leads us to trying to take control of everything in our life instead of allowing our life to unfold in front of us. Control rarely works the way we think it should & we end up blaming ourselves for the failures we experience in our lives. The truth is that if we live our life in the moment & let go of the need for control amazing things can happen.

In the Olympics all the athletes strive to be perfect even though they know that perfection is nearly impossible. Striving to be better & striving to do the best you can in any circumstance can certainly help you grow as long as you understand that you will always make mistakes. As with the athletes who lose a 1/10th of a point for this or that understand that you don't have to be perfect to live a more joyful life.

Let go of the need for control. Trust in yourself & believe in the others in your life. Live in the moment & enjoy the beauty of your life as it unfolds before you.

Till tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "Understanding that none of us, as human beings, are perfect can help us learn to forgive ourselves as well as others for the mistakes that are made. Through forgiveness we can lead a more joyful life."