Head vs Heart

Yes one of the oldest battles in the history of man.  Can I shed light on this epic battle?  I hope so; let’s start with misconceptions.  The head is always logical, it always makes a good sound decision based on facts.  The heart is always emotional and every decision is irrational.  The truth is that both the head and heart are both.

Let’s start with the head; it is true that the mind can take in a wealth of information and based on experience and research can make a logical decision.  But unfortunately we rarely act on pure logic.  The mind instead tries to justify the answer that the Ego wants.  What do I mean by this?  Well how many times in your life have you gone ahead with a decision because it was the outcome you wanted?  Often we look at facts and interpret them as we see fit.  This is partly because of who we are but mostly because the Ego wants us to move in a particular direction to try and satisfy its longing for something.

The heart/soul on the other hand can make very emotional decisions.  We can feel the hurt or pain sometimes leading us to things that we would not rationally choose even if the head is telling us something different.  I often call these reactions, knee jerk!  They make no real sense except to us at the time.  But the heart can lead us to true joy, when we are able to move beyond the emotion and truly feel the correct outcome we align ourselves with God/universe and we move in the direction we are meant to move.

So how do we choose?  This epic battle has gone on for so long because there is no easy answer to this.  For the head we need to detach ourselves from the outcome and try to look at the true facts, not the ones we have created.  For the heart we need to move beyond the emotional response and feel the true connection with everything.  The balance between the two can take a lifetime to perfect and understand but if we acknowledge the challenges with each we move closer to the true answer.

Meditation is a great way to quiet the noise of the Ego and connect with our true self and sometimes just taking a breath or taking time can move us away from the emotional response and into a place of true connection.  Allow yourself to become aware of these internal battles and just by becoming aware you can begin to change your life.

The bottom line is we do not have to accept the battle we have to acknowledge the challenges and find our true connection with everything.

Till next time,

Bill

Quote of the day:  “Acknowledge the immediate response that both the head and heart can give us.  Move beyond this response and find the true connection with everything for through this connection everything is possible!”

Asking for help!

One of the hardest lessons I have had to learn in my life is that of asking for help.  I have always been the first one to give, either of my time or my money.  I have done this regardless of my current situation because I have always believed that by giving we receive.  But I have always had a hard time asking for help or accepting help from others.

Why is this?  I believe it is all based on the Ego.  The Ego believes it is the best and the only thing that matters, by accepting help the Ego is shown that it cannot do everything or figure everything out.  I lived in this place for many years.  I was very bright and I could always figure out a way around things to create the outcome that I wanted.  As I grew spiritually I let go of the need for my Ego and started the process of listening more closely to my heart and soul.

The feeling of being connected to everything and feeling the natural flow of things; opens your mind and allows for best outcome in every situation.  This process does not mean that everything will always be perfect, or go your way.  It just means there is a time and place for everything and if we allow it things will work out the way they are supposed to.

I still have had problems accepting help from others, it is an ongoing process for me.  At this point in my life I need as much help as I can get to help me get through the process of building my new business.  I have tried to be more open and accepting of help from friends and colleagues allowing them the same satisfaction I receive by giving.

As I open my heart, I allow God/universe to send me the perfect people to help.  In the past I would ignore these people and do it myself.  The results were that I would usually get what I wanted but in the end it truly was not what was best or even what I thought it would be.

As we learn to live a more joyful life; allow your heart to be open to others help and together we can build a better world.

Till next time,

Bill

Quote of the day: “By allowing others to help us when we need it, we open up the process of giving and receiving and can change our lives forever.”

Rainbows & Unicorns

Often in my life I have been told that I am too positive.  That I must be hiding something because no one can be that positive.  Well the truth is I have always been positive but since I have grown spiritually I am more positive than ever.  I certainly have my down days, in fact I have written about them on occasion here, but in general things do not keep me down for long.  I battle with the same emotions everyone does and as I have grown I have learned to deal with them better and better over time.

If you take a look at my life right now you may wonder if being positive helps?  I believe it softens the hurt and helps you move forward.  I have been out of a ‘regular’ job for over a year now, I started my own travel business in February but did not really start ‘selling’ travel until May.  The business so far is not making me the money I need to survive but the business continues to pick up.  So, should I be depressed because as hard as I am working I am not successful yet?  I do not believe so.  I believe that there is so much more positive about my experience than negative.  I am an active member of two Chambers of Commerce and treasurer of one.  This helps me be active in the communities that surround my mountain home and by giving back to the communities I am filled up beyond anything a job or a business could ever give me. 

I do not believe that man’s life is defined by his job and a man’s worth is not just the money he has.  Life is too short to not engage it fully and become who you are meant to be!  Each one of us finds our own path in life but the ultimate path is to discover who you really are….”Love”.  Once you know love of yourself and can express love outwardly to the world your life will change beyond anything you can imagine.

The struggle today is finding the time to discover your true self with all the demands that our busy lives have in front of us on a daily basis.  It is time that we all learn to slow down, it is time that we all learn that money is not the answer.  Life is precious and far too short to only worry about accumulating wealth and possessions.  True joy is found in service to others and spreading the love that you have to give.

So yes maybe I am too positive but I believe in people, I believe in this world and I believe once we all know love this small little blue planet will change forever!!

Till next time,

Bill

Quote of the day: “Being positive about life does not mean that you do not have negative things happen in your life.  It just means you accept them and move on to a better place!

Watching clouds go by

Do you remember when you were a kid and you laid in the grass and watched the clouds go by?  I have talked occasionally about wonderment, about finding the beauty in everything that comes into your life.  Part of this is opening yourself up to your inner child. 

When I was a child I could spend hours just watching the clouds and imagining what shape they pretended to be.  The hours seemed like minutes because I was totally entrenched by the beauty and the fun of the clouds.  I still do this on occasion, although I rarely lie down in the grass, I just sit and look upward to enjoy the clouds.  Are you willing to be a child again?

We are all so busy in our busy world that we refuse to take time for ourselves and time to play.  Why do we lose the joy of a child?  The answer is because we refuse to cultivate it as we grow.  Our society says that is childish and we should be more responsible.  I say baloney!!  I say to truly know joy we need to feed our inner child, we need to be willing to just watch the clouds go by.

We refuse to open our minds to the joy we knew as a child because we are afraid to let go of the noise of the people around us.  We need to find comfort in our own self and not be so concerned about what everyone else has to say about us or what we are doing.

Rediscover your inner child, feed its imagination and joy.  By allowing this simple act your heart will be lightened and joy will return to your life.  It is ok to be silly, it is ok be childish.  Do not allow anyone, including yourself, to take that joy away.  When you are able to just let go and watch the clouds go by you feed your soul and you begin the process of bringing joy back into your life.

Till next time,

Bill

Quote of the day: “By finding time to watch the clouds go by we feed our imagination and rediscover the joy of being a child!”

Who am I?

Do you know the answer to this simple question?  Or is it simple at all?  So many of us have our different faces; a face for work, a face for home, a face for play & a face for friends but do you really know who you are?  This was a question that dogged me for years, I thought I knew what I wanted, I thought I knew how to get it & I thought I knew what people expected of me.  But the truth is none of this matters if you don’t know who you truly are!

There’s no easy way or quick fix to find the answer to this question.  This takes time and lots of self-reflection.  You need to move beyond the roles you play in life and discover who you are.  For me this started with meeting my wife Heidi and really gained momentum with the death of my father but it took me way too long to figure who I really was and what I wanted to do with my life.

It is so easy to hide in the different roles we play that often we totally lose ourselves.  I worked for 16 years in taxes not because it was a part of me but because I needed to provide for my family.  I did many things in my life for a reason but is it always good to justify the actions you took (read Tuesday’s blog)?  The truth is NO!!  Even things we do with the best intentions can be a way to avoid learning who you are.  You are not defined by any role, you are not defined by any action; you are instead discovered in every moment!

The work of discovering yourself begins with dealing with your past.  The past for most of us is like the elephant in the room; always there but never acknowledged.  For me I had to forgive:  Forgive the man that sexually abused me, Forgive my father for making me feel not good enough.  This wasn’t easy but over time and through reflection, I was able to forgive and let go of the things that happened to me.  I am a totally different person than I was before I did this.  I love more, give more and believe now that by opening yourself to the world you find much more joy than the sorrow people believe.  Yes there can always be someone out there that is looking to take advantage of you but there are far more that will return the love you give a thousand times over.

The process of self-discovery took time for me but it was the best time I ever spent.  I learned that my life was filled with decisions based on my Ego rather than my soul.  I learned that by forgiving we become a better person and I learned that when we truly trust God/universe everything is possible.

Take time, discover the person you truly are, always start with love and the world will open up to you like never before!!

Till next time,

Bill

Quote of the day: “Only by knowing who you really are (not who you pretend to be) can you find the lasting joy that is meant for you!” 

Justify

Do you try to justify everything in your life?  No matter the mistakes or choices you make you always have a reason for your actions.  Many of us do this to try to create a false sense of security.  The truth is no action that is taken by us should need justification.  When we act from a place of love or from our true self everything flows and we never need to justify the actions we have taken.

The reason we seek to justify is to placate the Ego, the Ego makes wrong decisions all the time because the decisions are based on instant gratification and embellishing itself. So to take command of your thoughts the Ego needs to be able to justify everything it does.  This is true no matter how wrong the decision is.  We can always find a ‘good’ reason for our actions because it gives us comfort that we made the correct decision but by opening yourself up to your true self you’ll learn that there’s no need to justify for every action you take is in harmony with everything else in your life and in the world as a whole.

Some of the worst tragedies in the history of the world had justification for the actions they took and people bought into these justifications because it was more comfortable to believe the justification then to stand up to the tragedy they witnessed.  We as a society need to speak up when we see wrong, we need to stop listening to the justification and start revealing the horror of the action.

On a smaller scale in our own lives we need to move away from our Ego and become more and more aligned with our true self (soul).  Once this shift happens in our life we will begin to see how easily life flows in the natural course of things.  This does not mean everything will go your way all the time.  As I have written before, look to nature there is a natural rhythm there and as in nature there are fallow times and harvest times in all of our lives.  By listening to our soul though we can even out the fallow times and still find joy when things are not going as well as we would like. 

Remember that even in fallow times we can prepare for the next harvest.  Through this preparation we can be stronger than we were before.  Let go of the need to justify your actions, move closer to your true self and discover the true joy that is missing in your life.

Till next time,

Bill

Quote of the day: “When we listen to our true self there is never a need to justify our actions.  Move away from the Ego and the need to justify and you will discover true joy!”

Where are you going?

Do you know where you are going in life?  Do you have a plan?  Or do you just vacillate moving from one disappointment to the other never knowing when things will be different?  God/universe allows us to create whatever we want in life but first we must have a plan!  We have talked before about thoughts and intentions and these are part of the plan for your life but in order to create the life you truly want; you need to have a plan!  You need to have a dream!!  You need to aspire to something.

So how do you create a plan for your life?  I believe the most important part of any plan is flexibility!  You have to be willing to adjust your plan as you move through life.  Look to nature that always adapts to whatever comes its way.  In the case of nature some things take centuries but nature always adapts.  Far too often in our lives we have a vision and we are unwilling to adjust that vision to things that come into our life.  By being open and in touch with your true self (soul) you will know when to adjust the plan and when to stay the course.  We often need to move away from what we believe the vision is to truly discover the vision again.  We all know of stories of people that found their true passion when they were much older (in their 60’s or 70’s).  God/universe has no timeline for your plan or your life, what God/universe wants to do is give you everything you want, the problem is we all get so distracted in our day to day life we do not know what we truly want.

This is the true paradox of life:  God/universe wants to give us what we want but we cannot give God/universe a clear message to work from!!  I believe the answer to this paradox is simple; start each day with gratitude.  Thank God/universe for what has come into your life before today.  Next, focus!  Yes take time, even a few minutes every day, but take time to focus on what you want.  Move beyond your head (Ego) and into your true self (soul) and listen to what your soul is telling you.  This is the path you need to be on.  If we betray our true self we may have instant gratification but we will never know true long lasting joy!

After starting with gratitude and focusing on our true vision the next step is open ourselves up to whatever comes into our life.  You never know who can help you along the way to your dreams and sometimes the forward movement you need comes from a very unlikely source, so as with focus the answer is to be flexible and pay attention to what comes into your life.  As you do this, more and more things will come into your life that moves your vision forward.

Believe in this process, know that everything is possible.  Believe in yourself, know that you are a divine being and all God/universe wants is to give you what you want.  Remember to be open, to love and to listen and your life will change forever!

Till next time,

Bill

Quote of the day: “Where are you going in your life?  Do you even know?  Find your true calling, believe in yourself and you can do anything!”