Thursday, October 22, 2015

Who am I?

Do you know the answer to this simple question?  Or is it simple at all?  So many of us have our different faces; a face for work, a face for home, a face for play & a face for friends but do you really know who you are?  This was a question that dogged me for years, I thought I knew what I wanted, I thought I knew how to get it & I thought I knew what people expected of me.  But the truth is none of this matters if you don’t know who you truly are!

There’s no easy way or quick fix to find the answer to this question.  This takes time and lots of self-reflection.  You need to move beyond the roles you play in life and discover who you are.  For me this started with meeting my wife Heidi and really gained momentum with the death of my father but it took me way too long to figure who I really was and what I wanted to do with my life.

It is so easy to hide in the different roles we play that often we totally lose ourselves.  I worked for 16 years in taxes not because it was a part of me but because I needed to provide for my family.  I did many things in my life for a reason but is it always good to justify the actions you took (read Tuesday’s blog)?  The truth is NO!!  Even things we do with the best intentions can be a way to avoid learning who you are.  You are not defined by any role, you are not defined by any action; you are instead discovered in every moment!

The work of discovering yourself begins with dealing with your past.  The past for most of us is like the elephant in the room; always there but never acknowledged.  For me I had to forgive:  Forgive the man that sexually abused me, Forgive my father for making me feel not good enough.  This wasn’t easy but over time and through reflection, I was able to forgive and let go of the things that happened to me.  I am a totally different person than I was before I did this.  I love more, give more and believe now that by opening yourself to the world you find much more joy than the sorrow people believe.  Yes there can always be someone out there that is looking to take advantage of you but there are far more that will return the love you give a thousand times over.

The process of self-discovery took time for me but it was the best time I ever spent.  I learned that my life was filled with decisions based on my Ego rather than my soul.  I learned that by forgiving we become a better person and I learned that when we truly trust God/universe everything is possible.

Take time, discover the person you truly are, always start with love and the world will open up to you like never before!!

Till next time,


Quote of the day: “Only by knowing who you really are (not who you pretend to be) can you find the lasting joy that is meant for you!” 

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