Sunday, May 22, 2011

Understanding your dark side

Yes we all have one even if we don’t want to admit it. In fact trying to bury it away is one of the biggest problems we can face. The trick, I’ve found, with the dark side is to acknowledge it & know when it’s needed. Yes, there truly are times that we need to allow ourselves to slip into the dark side.

What do I mean by the dark side? To me it’s the part of myself that's selfish, cranky, rude & sometimes wishes ill will to ours. We all have those moments in our life when we snap at someone or do something truly for our own benefit even if it means hurting someone else. I’m sure if we explored deeper we would find even nastier parts of ourselves & exploring is the key. If we can’t understand ourselves how can we expect anyone else to understand where we’re coming from or what motivates us. It truly is impossible! What often happens next is a feeling of frustration because we feel misunderstood & alone.

In the fast paced world we live in today everybody is looking for the quick fix, the miracle cure & many of us are unwilling to take the time needed to discover who we truly are. A big reason for this is we’re afraid of what we’ll find. So how many skeletons have you buried inside of yourself? How much hurt & pain have you tucked away for fear of experiencing it? We all do it but does that make it right? I think not!!!

There are two things you need to remember when you begin the exploration of yourself:

1) Anything you discover about yourself can be changed. This is a proven fact by many studies throughout the last decade or so. Granted it’s not always easy to change things that you’ve been doing for a longtime but it can be done with work & repetition.

2) Only by dealing with the emotions & feelings that we have deep inside can we move beyond them to a better a life. That fear or pain that you’ve buried will always come back to haunt you at the most inopportune times until you learned to move beyond it..

I’m not going to kid you sometimes it’s a difficult process to really look into yourself. I know for me it’s was very hard process but I discovered so much about myself that it was very worthwhile. I shed many a tear looking at the pain I buried inside & realized the pain that I caused others because of my selfish actions at different times in my life. I am a better person because I understand now that if I get angry or feel hurt or act in a selfish way, where that feeling comes from & how to move beyond that feeling to a better place.

So, the question you’re probably asking yourself is, how? The answer to that is a difficult one. We all process things differently because of the life experiences we have so there’s no set pattern (although you could read books that tell you an easy way). I believe that it all begins with taking time for yourself. Go into a room alone turn everything off & allow your mind to run with whatever it wants to. I always brought a pad a paper in to jot down the thoughts I had & the feelings associated with those thoughts.; Then backtrack through your life till you get to the earliest thing you remember. Throughout this journey pay attention to the feelings that emerge as you recount the events of your life. Give yourself praise for getting through any & all the difficult times you’ve had, for by making it through you proven you can get through anything that life throws your way.

Understand when you acted selfishly or were angry or cruel to someone. Try to think about why you acted that way & if now you could think about a better way to handle the situation. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made & for the times you didn’t act as your best self would. Understand that the past can’t be changed but that you can be the person you want to be in every situation if you understand why you acted the way you did.

Everything is possible in life & the journey we are on together or separately should always be to act as the best person we can be. We all make mistakes, we are only human but by learning from those mistakes & growing into the person we know we can be, we can change the world one step at a time.

Always remember that no matter how dark the storm becomes nothing lasts forever & you will endure because you have before. Sometimes through the darkest parts of our lives we gain the most knowledge, I wish it wasn’t so but for many of us it is. Relish the dark by discovering the joy even in the worst….it’s always there.

Till next time,


Quote of the day: “Only by understanding the dark side of ourselves can we become who we truly want to be!”


Aiko said...

Thank you for sharing ! I liked this very much.

Timberwolf123 said...

Thanks for checking out the blog...there's over 200 topics here to read & share.



Susan Deborah said...


I am a very dark person and sometimes the dark patches are justified by me. I know I have them but sometimes I don't even think of changing them. But I'm trying . . .

This post enabled me to delve deeper. Thanks.

Joy always,

Mattias Kroon said...

Excellent post.There will always be temptations to be overpositive or the opposite very negative about yourself.I am always trying to listen to constructive changes I would need.It isn´t easy but for the most it turns out surprisingly well in the end.

Timberwolf123 said...

Susan, The darkness isn't the place to stay only a place to visit from time to time. I wish you well on your journey & thank you for your comment.



Timberwolf123 said...

Yes Mattias, there's always temptations out there & learning to deal with them is what will help us be a better person.

Thanks for your comment.


SandyC said...

Very good post. That dark place is really a place to explore with the realization that it only takes a very small bit of light to illuminate it. Thanks for your thoughts.

Timberwolf123 said...

Thanks for the comment Sandy. Yes the only way to move beyond the dark side is to explore it completely & to understand what motivates it, then you can move above it & onto a better life.