Sunday, May 15, 2011

Moving out of your own way

For many of us this title sounds like an easy thing to do. We believe we know where we’re going & just what steps we need to take to get to our ultimate destination but in fact this can be one of the hardest lessons to learn in life or at least it was for me.


I know I haven’t written much lately & I apologize to all of you for that. Life has been very busy settling into a new job & relocating to a new state. I’ve had many thoughts but not the time to write them all down & then yesterday I was reminded that so often we get in our own way of happiness. In fact we set ourselves up for disappointment, how do we do this? For many of us, it’s expecting a result.


I’m not going to tell you that all expectations are bad, but I’ve learned in my life that there really is no place for them. The best result that can happen way we expect a result is that we get what we expected &, for me, that diminishes the result because we only met our expectation. On the other side of the coin if we don’t get what we expected we can be crushed & left wondering why? or what’s next?


So often in life we make up our mind that “this” is what we need to be happy & when we don’t get it we blame God/universe for our sadness because all we needed was “X” & you didn’t give it me.


The truth is we set ourselves up for this disappointment because we think we know what’s best for us. I have found in life that opening your mind to possibilities will allow things to happen in your life that you never thought could or would happen. That’s truly the way we create our future. It’s an ever evolving path that we create cooperatively with God/universe. It is only through this ebb & flow that we can create the life we want to live, for when we get set in our path or in our ways we close off the world of possibilities & stay stuck where we are, which may not be the best place.


How many times in your life have you discovered after the fact that the thing you thought you wanted the most wasn’t really all that great. I can’t answer for you but for me it was often. When I was a young man I made things happen by sheer will. I wouldn’t take no for an answer & I moved through life knowing that I could get the “brass ring” anytime I wanted.


The sad part was I was never truly happy because I thought I knew what I needed to be happy & I believed that I knew what was best for me. I went through my younger years with great highs & sometimes very deep lows because the truth was I had no idea what I wanted & I allowed my EGO to dictate what was best in the moment. The EGO always wants the instant gratification & by following the EGO we can discover tremendous highs. The problem is that the EGO is never truly satisfied it always wants more & when it doesn’t get it, we crash & burn.


I have discovered that by stepping out of my own way that life is on a much more even keel & expectations play a big roll in that. I allow the best outcome to be created, rather then expect the result that I believe is the best.


The bottom is it’s all up to you: Open your mind & allow possibilities or close your mind & expect results. Trust me when I say this choice is life changing.


Until next time,



Bill


Quote of the day: “To expect an outcome only diminishes the result, be surprised, be open to the possibility & watch the world change around you.”

19 comments:

Jan Tallent said...

Totally relate, Bill. For years, I would pray for help or guidance but the "fix everything" Mom part of me would jump right in God's way and try to keep on fixing - I am getting a bit better at just "staying our of the way" once I have supposedly turned it over!

Jan :-)

Timberwolf123 said...

Thanks Janet, it was a very tough lesson for me. Took a lot of time to understand that even though I got what I wanted I wasn't happy....not an easy thing to understand or move through but that's why I thought it needed to be shared.

Hugs,

Bill

Mattias Kroon said...

Very interesting Bill.

We as humans are planning much and we want things to be exactly as we want them and then many things happen in a different, sometimes surprisingly way.In the end, at least for me, the puzzle got its crucial piece on place.

Timberwolf123 said...

Thanks Mattias,

I appreciate the comment, planning can be a good thing as knowing brings comfort. The problem comes from expecting the result that you planned for....then things get a little mixed up. Much better to let go of the outcome & allow it to happen however it should.

Bill

plumwalk2 said...

Bill,
We are just meeting,but feel where you are coming from. It has been very difficult finding that new person inside me that does not punch a time clock. Someone asked me last night when I was going to start doing good stuff for myself. All I could say was that I am working on it. I am. I wish you luck in your new job, town and life. Be happy in doing you. I am right behind you.

Sincerely,

Lucy Walker

Timberwolf123 said...

Thanks Lucy & welcome. I was very active on this blog for almost 2 years but it's been tough finding time to write again with everything else going on. I'm hoping that I've turned the corner on the busyness & am hoping to post more here again. Good luck with your new opportunities as well.

Hugs,

Bill

FCEtier said...

My best friend's grandfather gave me some good advice back when I was a teen.
98% of the things you worry about never materialize. It's that 2% that you don't expect that really get you.
Don't let the bad things get you down.
All the best to you, Mr. Bill!

Timberwolf123 said...

Thanks for stopping by Chip I appreciate the comment.

Bill

Roy Durham said...

i know what your are saying and i have heard it this way " let go and let god" it really works better and when you can't, go fishing. love your post welcome back. thank you and god bless

Timberwolf123 said...

Thanks Roy for your comment & yes we say that very often around here. The idea is the same, things will unfold as they should when we step back & let them. Hope to see you around.

Bill

David said...

We are often our own worse enemy with our expectations and overplanning. Life seems to have better results when I turn things over to God and the universe. Nice post!!

http://erinsdomain.blogspot.com

Timberwolf123 said...

Thanks David, I appreciate the comment. It's amazing what can happen when we truly just allow....hard but wonderful!

Bill

SallyLeeByTheSea.com said...

Hello, dear friend! So lovely to see you back at blogging. Have missed your words of wisdom.

This is an amazing post and anyone that makes the choice to open their mind will see an amazing transformation in their life.

Hugs,
Marie

Timberwolf123 said...

Thanks sweet Marie,

I'm going to try to get back into this writing thing on a regular basis again....life is great...just been very busy.

Hope you're well.

Hugs,

Bill

Bhavna said...

very well said, also loved the blog layout..true lessons of life...as we Indians say expect the least and do your best...your blog surely potrays it

Following you :)

Timberwolf123 said...

Thanks for the comment Bhavna, I appreciate your thoughts, sometimes in life all we can do is our best & see what happens.

Bill

Leah Griffith said...

This is exactly what I've been learning and I was about to read a passage in a little devotional about it that I had read yesterday but then I said to myself, "Nah, I'll read something different today." (your post) So I guess I was supposed to hear this message again after all. Thanks for writing it...it was just what I needed.

Timberwolf123 said...

You're welcome Leah & Thanks for stopping by & leaving a comment. It's funny how what we need to hear shows up at just the right time. The trick is to actually listen to the message otherwise it comes back again & again until we finally get it.

Hugs,

Bill

Dentist West Hollywood said...

Thanks for this! It's so easy as human beings to get in the way of our own success by doubting ourselves or just questioning our own abilities, and reading reassurances like this is a big help on the way to NOT letting things like that keep us down. Thank you, thank you! Can't say it enough :)

Rosie