Yesterday we discussed judging or stereotyping others. So what happens when you're the one who feels judged. What is your reaction to this situation? Do you attack the person judging you? Do you stay quiet and just allow this judgment to be passed even if you believe it's not true?
One of the first things I ever learned in business is that if you make someone feel like they are being attacked they will only become defensive. This defensive behavior makes progress in any discussion almost impossible. There are ways & techniques around this situation but the bottom line is that when we feel attacked we become defensive.
Outside of business the same statement is true. So if you feel you've been judged, especially when that judgment isn't true, realize that your first reaction will be defensive. Understanding this can help you move beyond the judgment being placed on you. This defensive reaction is our EGO talking to us. Remember that the EGO is always the first to the party & reacting from a place of EGO can almost always lead to greater problems.
So how should you react? I think the answer to this depends on the situation. Beyond your natural reaction of defense realize that who you're with & what the situation is will take precedence over your reaction. (You never want to escalate a situation when you don't feel safe)
I learned, in my life, that the best reaction to feeling judged is time. Take a deep breath move beyond your EGO & into your center. Try & understand where this person is coming from. Also realize that we reflect back to ourselves our biggest fears, so the reason this judgment may hurt is because there is some truth in what is being said or least you fear that there's some truth in it.
My next step is to try & take a measured response. I do this by telling the person that the comment they said hurt me & I ask them to explain why they feel the way they do. A true discussion can be very enlightening. You may learn more about yourself & the other person. This discussion may have to wait if you can't control your defensive reaction because responding when angry can escalate the situation.
When I am unable to have a discussion with the other person/people involved (because of safety or logistics or my defensive reaction) I try to understand & reflect on what has been said. This is true even when the comment is truly hurtful or mean spirited.
The way for each us to grow beyond where we are at in our life is to try & learn from any situation we encounter in life. God/universe has a way of throwing situations at us to help us learn what we need to learn to move on. Being judged unfairly is one of those learning situations. Open your heart to the love we all have inside of us. Understand that rude or unkind comments from another may be their way of trying to find the love they are missing in their life. People react from their own programming, this isn't a justification, it's just a fact of life. In order to grow & help the world to become a better place we have to move beyond the hate & judgment of others & become an example of love for the world to see.
Till Monday, have a wonderful weekend.
Bill
Quote of the day:"Let go of the judgment others place on you. Discover the love you have inside & radiate that love into the world"
