What Brings me Joy!!!

I welcome a new guest blogger todayPetrina. I met Pertina through this blog & she's also a memeber of the National Gallery of Writing as I am. Petrina is married with 2 boys, recently moved to Virginia from New York. Currently unemployed. Profession: Mental Health Professional. Presented Alumnus Address this year for Alma Mater High School. Enjoys laughing, dancing and writing. Her Blog is: Here

What Brings me Joy!!!

What an interesting topic to write on as by reflex I can tell you all the things that cause me stress and disappointment. It is challenging because it exposes my true spirit of pessimism; joy is secondary. There are many things that bring me joy. Besides making my husband and children happy, I enjoy helping the less fortunate. I have always had a generous spirit since I was young. Giving away my clothes and any little trinket given to me. I had to learn as a newlywed not to eventually give away things my husband would buy me. I know, it is a bad habit but it took a good friend having a good talk with me before I understood the connection. I just loved giving people things that they always wanted. If I had it and they wanted it, I would give it. I remember even giving away my toys when I was very young.

A life changing event happened to me that made me even more generous towards people. I had the experience of being so poor I might as well lived in a developing country. My mother moved from the West Indies to a poor neighborhood in New York. In those days it was okay to leave your children by themselves while you went out to work. I took care of my brother while my mother went to work, took courses for citizenship and attended classes towards a degree. I raised myself and my younger brother. That was pretty much my life as a teenager until my step father came along. The only thing he did was provide an income to pay the rent. My mother was strong and brave as she could not bare to have him in the house much longer and kicked him out. That’s when it happened. We starved. For one whole year while my mother was working in a lower than low position, my brother and I discovered new creations in an empty fridge. We ate crackers and mayonnaise or pineapple jelly with crackers and sugar water as we had no lemons. We were joking about it the other day and how happy we were when on rare occasions we would be able to have hospital made spaghetti and meatballs as my mom
worked in the kitchen at the local hospital. Weekends were the hardest as we had no school lunch.

After that stage I became a teenager and my mother now a college graduate helped me to go through school as well as my brother. She now has a Masters and it motivated me to get my Masters also. (Funny I just remembered how my peers in college and roommates used to joke that they could look in the fridge and find nothing to cook, but I would go in the fridge and bring out a tasty four course meal). I looked back at my life and became more spiritual as I realized I did not get through so many hard life experiences by my own doing. Then, out of nowhere, this great opportunity to go abroad and help others in a developing country had arise. I was on the next plain as I felt I could relate, although I understood the gravity of the situation would be worse than any of my experiences. There was eight people sent by a reputable organization and I went as the only Mental Health Consultant. I spent two years serving the poor.

Today, I still find philanthropic means for helping the less fortunate. The opportunity abroad bought me the most joy. My mother’s perseverance brought me much joy. My brother being a World Trade Center survivor brought me much joy. Becoming a wife and a parent brings me joy as my husband is also generous and I am hands on with my boys. As a parent it makes me happy to instill in them the importance of things learned from my past; a good education, spirituality, an altruistic view on life and lots of kisses. They could do without the kisses I bet, but I can’t. I couldn’t pick just one thing that brings me joy, as joy for me has no time constraints.

Petrina

P.S. Things are settling in in Denver I hope to get back to regular writing next week...sorry it's taken so long but it's been crazy...hugs & look forward to reconnecting with all of you next week....if you want to be a guest writing contact me at timberwolf12345@gmail.com

The awakening of your true self!!

Do you truly know who you are? I don't mean your name or any other label you want to give yourself. I mean in your core in the depths of your soul, the parts of you that no one knows ….maybe not even yourself. The discovery of who we truly are is one of the oldest quests man has sought from the beginning of time. It drives many of us & consumes others. We put on so many different faces for the people in our life because we believe we have to be what “they” expect us to be. So we create the Mom or the Dad personality and there's the friend or the worker or the business leader....etc, etc. We create a complex life trying to please everyone & we believe that it's necessary because it's what's expected. What if I told you it's not what others expect......what if I told you that all you have to do is be who you truly are & you will be accepted by everyone in your life.

I know it sounds like an easy solution to a complex problem that has been plaguing mankind for our entire existence & the truth is it's not easy because it takes a commitment from you to take the time to discover who you truly are.....not what the PTA expects you to be...no....who you are...your true self. I believe that is our connection to everything. Our true self or what many others call our soul....can you commit to taking the time for self discovery? Aren't you worth it? I know you are because I the love you have inside that needs to be shared with the world. I know the beauty & purity of who you truly are because at our core we are all connected & anything that people perceive to be evil is truly only born from a lack of love & the need to know who we truly are.

So, how do we take the first step to begin the process of self discovery? There's no perfect way, but what I've found is simply to be. Quiet your mind, focus on your breathing, listen deep inside & feel the peace & connectedness of your true self. There is a feeling of being grounded when you're able to move beyond the thoughts going on in your busy mind. For me, I also enjoy being out in nature. I have discovered for myself that the depth of my connection to my soul/true self is much deeper when I'm in nature. There is for me, a profound awareness to the beauty around me & a knowing that I am a part of it. Whatever works for you, use it. Take the time today to discover who you truly are. Let go of the noise & the expectations, release the fear & move beyond the pain from the past. Understand that you are love. Listen to that small voice that comes from deep within & become who you were truly meant to be!! Let go of the veils of life that you hide behind & discover that when you are truly who you are suppose to be you are love & everyone will accept you for who you truly are.

Life moves with an ease when you can be who you truly are. It's a very freeing experience!! Believe in yourself & discover who you truly are!!

Hugs,

Bill

Quote of the day: “The journey of self-discovery is the most important journey any of us can take. Stop pretending & be who you truly are.....LOVE!”

Living in the moment!!

I've talked a lot over the past year about letting life come to you & living life in each moment but what does that really mean.....”living in the moment”. I think as with many things in life you can interpret the meaning of that phrase in many different ways. For the purposes of this blog it's not important to me how literally you take the phrase or what this phrase means to you personally. What's important to me is that you begin to learn to live your life in each moment.

I've been challenged over the past few weeks to work myself through a huge shift in my life. I have moved (at least temporarily) to the Denver, Colorado area. I have left my beautiful wife, our two dogs, my house, my friends & everything I know as part of my life, for the past 12 years, behind to move to a state that I've spent only 3-5 days in for my entire life. The only thing that has keep me in a state of joy is living in each moment & discovering the joy that each moment has for us. The truth is there is joy all around us even when things aren't easy, but it's up to us to discover the joy that is hidden even in challenging times.

How do I this? I don't worry about tomorrow. I believe in the very core of who I am that tomorrow will unfold perfectly before me just as it should. It is in this shift of thought that all possibilities are born. I read from many people that they believe the key to life is to “live from the end”, in other words see the end & work backwards to today to see how to get there. This may work for some but for me it's the furthest from the truth that we can move. I know that if I set my intention for the future & release that intention into the world with no attachment to the results, God/universe will lead us to where we want to end up by living in each moment in-between. You see life is only about the now. The preoccupation with what will happen tomorrow steals away the life we can have right now. There is no promise that we have anything beyond this moment we share together right now. So why be concerned about what will happen tomorrow? The only thing that matters is right now & if you're willing to live each moment to fullest your life will always unfold perfectly before you.

Are there never setbacks? Is life always perfect going forward? Of course not!! We need adversity in our life to help us learn the lessons we need to know to move on to a better life. I was laid-off from my job in June 2009 & the past year hasn't been easy financially but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I have discovered more about myself in the past year then I have in almost 50 years before this....would I have asked for this? No!! But God/universe knew this is what I needed to grow into the person I've always been inside. You see none of us truly need improvement we just need to get back to who we truly are in our soul!! Our truest self only knows how to live life perfectly.

You can change your life today, all you need to do is start right now let go of the expectations of tomorrow & discover the joy in this moment.

Hugs,

Bill

Quote of the day: “Everything is possible in the present moment....open your mind & heart to the joy right now in this exact moment & begin the change”

Raising the bar!

Do you set goals in your life? Do have a standard for your work career or for your life? I've always set high standards in everything I do in my life and I am always present in anything I'm engaged in. Being present may sound like an easy thing but with the busyness of life today it's sometimes hard be present in something right now. This especially true with work or something else that can be mundane. When we are engaged in a mundane task our mind tends to wander & think about what's next or what we want to do tomorrow. I've worked hard in my life to move beyond this wandering. I try to be present in everything I do & do the best job I am capable of doing. I allow myself to make mistakes, I don't try to make mistakes but I understand that mistakes happen so I allow myself mistakes.

Being present in every moment of your life will open your mind to the joy that's right in front of you. Even in that mundane task you can find joy!! Joy is all around us in the most ordinary things & by discovering the joy in the ordinary we can discover the joy in everything.

So what does "raising the bar" mean to you? Obviously it means reaching for more in everything you do but I would like to open us all up to raising the bar of our own consciousness. There's been a lot said & written about the making the world a better place. To me, the way to make the world better is to challenge each of us to be better people. If we each grow & become the source of love we all can be, we each improve our own part of the world. This improvement then grows exponentially because everyone in our life is affected by our love & then they learn to love more & so on & so on.

I believe in the human spirit & I believe that all change begins with us individually. Work on improving yourself, grow in your consciousness, become the light in your own world & watch that light grow around you!!

Have a great weekend,

Bill

PS I'm going to Denver to start a 2 month contract job, I may not blog next week until I'm sure of my new schedule but I promise I'll be back as soon as possible.

Quote of the day:" Raise the bar in your own life, live life to the fullest, be present in each moment & grow your own consciousness. You are the key to changing the world, start today!!!"

When life doesn't flow!

I have found in my life that when I stay connected to my true self (soul) life seems to flow with little effort. Things unfold perfectly in each moment of everyday. But, when life isn't flowing when everything is a struggle we need to examine what's caused this disruption to the flow of life.

When I was younger I didn't understand how to connect to my soul. I'm not even sure that I understood what a deep connection was. I knew that I always felt at peace in nature but beyond that life seemed very disconnected. I've written before here that I would just "make" things happen in my life. What I mean by that is, through sheer will I would find a way to make what I thought was important happen in my life. This actually worked to some extent but the results weren't very good. Here's an example; Lived in Northern CA for a time & at that time I was working in banking. My ex-wife didn't like to live in CA so to appease her I flew back to Chicago (where we were from) & looked for a job. I found a job at a bank in Chicago & they were willing to give me some money to move back. The bank was a very small neighborhood bank & the bank I worked in in CA was the 3rd or 4th largest bank in CA (they had something like 200 branches) so needless to say the environment was completely different.

The day I started at this bank things didn't feel right to me & the job they wanted me to do changed completely (we had discussed me being a loan officer as I was in CA but instead they wanted me to be a "personal banker" that opened accounts). Needless to say I was fired within a month of moving back home. I wasn't fired because I couldn't do the job but because I didn't fit into their environment & they had someone else that had turned down the job before they offered it to me that changed their mind...the perfect person to them.

So this worked because it got me back home & I was making some good dollars but it turned sour very quickly. This is what happens when we're not connected to our true self (soul). We can have an immediate success but in the long run things never workout the way we think they will. The main reason for this is because of the EGO. I written a lot in this blog about the EGO & I would invite you to look back & read those blogs. But the EGO wants immediate satisfaction, it always wants the next best thing & as soon as it gets what it wants it wants something else because of this it's never satisfied.

Your life in an EGO state is filled with huge swings up & down....successes & then big challenges & even when the success out weigh the challenges life never feels fulfilling. We all have to deal with this EGO state to live a more joyful life. I personally don't believe the path to a better life means suppressing or ignoring the EGO is the way through. To me each part of us works together in harmony & the EGO is no different. It has a place in our life, we just can't allow it to take over.

So how do we move beyond the EGO? The easiest way is to acknowledge the voice of the EGO. This voice tends to be the quickest & loudest voice we hear when we are trying to make a decision. The EGO says "Listen to me, Listen to me"! So, if we acknowledge what the EGO is saying we can quiet the noise from the EGO. Once we quiet this noise we are able to move to the deeper connection of our soul. This deeper connection takes practice to accomplish but once you've gotten into a routine of listening to your true self (soul) it gets easier & easier. The voice of the soul is quiet & when it speaks it feels right in every part of your body. It will not lead you in the wrong direction.

When things don't seem to flow in your life, slow down & reconnect with your true self (soul). Through this connection you will rediscover the natural flow of a joyful life!

Till tomorrow,

Bill

PS I'm still looking for guest bloggers, if you'd like to write a blog here...let me know. Contact me at timberwolf12345@gmail.com

Quote of the day: "When life feels disconnected, take time to reconnect to your true self (soul) & discover the joy your life can have."

Be true to yourself!

I've always had one big issue in my life. This issue has at times lead me to take detours in my life away from my true path. The issue I'm talking about is when push comes to shove I give into others & neglect myself.

I have learned over the years that I need to be first. This was a very difficult lesson for me because I always put others first. You see I've always loved people & if you are apart of my life you're a friend. I believe in friendship & to me it means something to be a friend. I know in this day & age that it's a casual thing to say, especially on-line. But to me its always meant something & I don't use it casually. When you're my friend you're important to me.

So over the years I would do whatever I could to help my friends & many times I would sacrifice what I wanted to do, just to help my friends. I've learned that although this is a wonderful thing, it's not the way to lead your life. In order to give of yourself you have to have something to give & if you always sacrifice what you want in life you'll never have as much to give as when you're living the life you should.

I have learned to take time in my life. I have learned to listen to my soul (true self) & I have learned to put myself first. Because of this, my life has blossomed beyond what I could imagine. I've been living my life in joy for a longtime now & I believe it's because I've learned to put myself first. I still help many people in my life, this act of giving is woven into the fabric of my life & giving to others doesn't have to be exclusive of taking care of yourself. In fact they work in perfect concert with one another when you truly take the time to know who you are & what you want you have more to give to others.

Think of it this way; If you are a glass of water filled to the brim & you continue to give a drink to everyone in your life.....sooner or later there won't be any water left to give. Whereas if you replenish the water every time you give a drink, your glass is always filled!!

When your life gets busy or when you have to make important decisions; these are the times you need to be sure to take care of yourself first. Start a daily practice now of checking with your true self (Soul). Realize what you need & where you want to go. Promise yourself, even in tough times, to always put yourself first!

It's still not always easy for me. I watch for signs of backsliding. I know that it's the best way to live my life & my life has better because of it. Take time today & refill your glass!!

Till tomorrow,

Bill

PS Still looking for guest bloggers for "Guest Blog Wednesday" if you're interested drop me an email at: Timberwolf12345@gmail.com

Quote of the day:"Take time to fill yourself up & you'll always have enough to give to others. By being true to yourself first you'll find a more joyful life!"

Defining Moments

Our lives are full of "defining moments" sometimes they're subtle & go by without us even realizing them & sometimes they're obvious & we realize that we have a life changing decision to make. Many of us avoid these big decisions because we can't clearly see which way to go. We think that by making no decision we can keep the life the way it is but the truth is that no decision is still a decision & the change we are trying to avoid will happen with or without us.

There's no easy way to deal with these big decisions. Each decision has it's own unique set of circumstances so even if we've been through them before we can still struggle with the circumstances of the next big decision but the general framework we've discussed before is a great starting point; First - take time to reflect the decision that you have to make. Second - get in touch with your true self (soul) & understand how each of the decisions feel to you. Third - talk to people you trust & listen to the feedback they give you.

The decision in these defining moments is one that once made has to be owned. Move forward with the strength of the information you've gathered. Realize that as we discussed last week there are no wrong decisions there are only decisions that take you away from your true purpose in life. We will always have the opportunity to come back to our life's purpose.

Sometimes when we are faced with these defining moments we backslide to our old patterns. The same patterns we thought we had grown beyond & within these old patterns we discover the fear we never truly dealt with. Moving beyond these old patterns can be a challenge but the first step is to recognize that you are backsliding. Once you realize the pattern & the fear associated with it, it's much easier to move beyond this fear into a better place. Remember that living your life in the current moment means releasing the past & focusing on what you fell right now. I know at times this is easier said then done but trust me it is possible to move through these defining moments without repeating the past patterns that have shaped our life.

Defining moments can feel like a fork in the road & truly the decision you make at these moments can have a big impact on your life but remember that there are no wrong decisions God/universe has a way of bringing us back to where we need to be. Sometimes it's like going from Chicago to Denver via Atlanta. It works but it's not the most ideal way to go. Trust in your true self (soul) move beyond the logical solution in your head as this is solution is normally tied to your EGO. Believe in yourself & live the life you're meant to live!!

Till tomorrow,

Bill

PS I'm still looking for guest bloggers if you'd like to write a blog here please email me at Timberwolf12345@gmail.com

Quote of the day: "Defining moments in your life are time to slow down & pay attention to your true self (soul). By taking time & connecting with how you truly feel about these moments you can discover a more joyful life."