Who am I?

Do you know the answer to this simple question?  Or is it simple at all?  So many of us have our different faces; a face for work, a face for home, a face for play & a face for friends but do you really know who you are?  This was a question that dogged me for years, I thought I knew what I wanted, I thought I knew how to get it & I thought I knew what people expected of me.  But the truth is none of this matters if you don’t know who you truly are!

There’s no easy way or quick fix to find the answer to this question.  This takes time and lots of self-reflection.  You need to move beyond the roles you play in life and discover who you are.  For me this started with meeting my wife Heidi and really gained momentum with the death of my father but it took me way too long to figure who I really was and what I wanted to do with my life.

It is so easy to hide in the different roles we play that often we totally lose ourselves.  I worked for 16 years in taxes not because it was a part of me but because I needed to provide for my family.  I did many things in my life for a reason but is it always good to justify the actions you took (read Tuesday’s blog)?  The truth is NO!!  Even things we do with the best intentions can be a way to avoid learning who you are.  You are not defined by any role, you are not defined by any action; you are instead discovered in every moment!

The work of discovering yourself begins with dealing with your past.  The past for most of us is like the elephant in the room; always there but never acknowledged.  For me I had to forgive:  Forgive the man that sexually abused me, Forgive my father for making me feel not good enough.  This wasn’t easy but over time and through reflection, I was able to forgive and let go of the things that happened to me.  I am a totally different person than I was before I did this.  I love more, give more and believe now that by opening yourself to the world you find much more joy than the sorrow people believe.  Yes there can always be someone out there that is looking to take advantage of you but there are far more that will return the love you give a thousand times over.

The process of self-discovery took time for me but it was the best time I ever spent.  I learned that my life was filled with decisions based on my Ego rather than my soul.  I learned that by forgiving we become a better person and I learned that when we truly trust God/universe everything is possible.

Take time, discover the person you truly are, always start with love and the world will open up to you like never before!!

Till next time,

Bill

Quote of the day: “Only by knowing who you really are (not who you pretend to be) can you find the lasting joy that is meant for you!” 

Justify

Do you try to justify everything in your life?  No matter the mistakes or choices you make you always have a reason for your actions.  Many of us do this to try to create a false sense of security.  The truth is no action that is taken by us should need justification.  When we act from a place of love or from our true self everything flows and we never need to justify the actions we have taken.

The reason we seek to justify is to placate the Ego, the Ego makes wrong decisions all the time because the decisions are based on instant gratification and embellishing itself. So to take command of your thoughts the Ego needs to be able to justify everything it does.  This is true no matter how wrong the decision is.  We can always find a ‘good’ reason for our actions because it gives us comfort that we made the correct decision but by opening yourself up to your true self you’ll learn that there’s no need to justify for every action you take is in harmony with everything else in your life and in the world as a whole.

Some of the worst tragedies in the history of the world had justification for the actions they took and people bought into these justifications because it was more comfortable to believe the justification then to stand up to the tragedy they witnessed.  We as a society need to speak up when we see wrong, we need to stop listening to the justification and start revealing the horror of the action.

On a smaller scale in our own lives we need to move away from our Ego and become more and more aligned with our true self (soul).  Once this shift happens in our life we will begin to see how easily life flows in the natural course of things.  This does not mean everything will go your way all the time.  As I have written before, look to nature there is a natural rhythm there and as in nature there are fallow times and harvest times in all of our lives.  By listening to our soul though we can even out the fallow times and still find joy when things are not going as well as we would like. 

Remember that even in fallow times we can prepare for the next harvest.  Through this preparation we can be stronger than we were before.  Let go of the need to justify your actions, move closer to your true self and discover the true joy that is missing in your life.

Till next time,

Bill

Quote of the day: “When we listen to our true self there is never a need to justify our actions.  Move away from the Ego and the need to justify and you will discover true joy!”

Where are you going?

Do you know where you are going in life?  Do you have a plan?  Or do you just vacillate moving from one disappointment to the other never knowing when things will be different?  God/universe allows us to create whatever we want in life but first we must have a plan!  We have talked before about thoughts and intentions and these are part of the plan for your life but in order to create the life you truly want; you need to have a plan!  You need to have a dream!!  You need to aspire to something.

So how do you create a plan for your life?  I believe the most important part of any plan is flexibility!  You have to be willing to adjust your plan as you move through life.  Look to nature that always adapts to whatever comes its way.  In the case of nature some things take centuries but nature always adapts.  Far too often in our lives we have a vision and we are unwilling to adjust that vision to things that come into our life.  By being open and in touch with your true self (soul) you will know when to adjust the plan and when to stay the course.  We often need to move away from what we believe the vision is to truly discover the vision again.  We all know of stories of people that found their true passion when they were much older (in their 60’s or 70’s).  God/universe has no timeline for your plan or your life, what God/universe wants to do is give you everything you want, the problem is we all get so distracted in our day to day life we do not know what we truly want.

This is the true paradox of life:  God/universe wants to give us what we want but we cannot give God/universe a clear message to work from!!  I believe the answer to this paradox is simple; start each day with gratitude.  Thank God/universe for what has come into your life before today.  Next, focus!  Yes take time, even a few minutes every day, but take time to focus on what you want.  Move beyond your head (Ego) and into your true self (soul) and listen to what your soul is telling you.  This is the path you need to be on.  If we betray our true self we may have instant gratification but we will never know true long lasting joy!

After starting with gratitude and focusing on our true vision the next step is open ourselves up to whatever comes into our life.  You never know who can help you along the way to your dreams and sometimes the forward movement you need comes from a very unlikely source, so as with focus the answer is to be flexible and pay attention to what comes into your life.  As you do this, more and more things will come into your life that moves your vision forward.

Believe in this process, know that everything is possible.  Believe in yourself, know that you are a divine being and all God/universe wants is to give you what you want.  Remember to be open, to love and to listen and your life will change forever!

Till next time,

Bill

Quote of the day: “Where are you going in your life?  Do you even know?  Find your true calling, believe in yourself and you can do anything!”

My Heart is full!

Yes, my heart is full of love, love is the only thing I know as I move forward in my life.  I open my heart to everyone that comes into my life and try to help them anyway I can.  I find great joy in giving to others and in my life I have found by giving that I receive much more back than I give.

In the world today some people call me crazy for this & I am OK with that.  Yes, I have been hurt by people in my life because of my willingness to give but I believe I have discovered true joy even through the few times that people have hurt me.  I believe that the only way for the world to move to a better place is to learn to love more and judge less.  We are all humans and we all make mistakes, even if we don’t want to admit it.  Through love we move beyond our own imperfections and into a state of joy and fulfillment that can not be reached without love in your life.

Does everyone deserve to be loved?  I believe the answer to that is yes!!  The violence and pain we see in the world is based on fear not love and when we come together in a true loving state anything is possible.  By opening our heart without judgement to others we clear away the ego and move into a place where everything is possible.

Does this mean you have to agree with everyone?  Of course not!!  We love our family, we love our children, we love our spouse but we do not always agree with what they are doing or saying.  We all need to be true to ourselves but if we disagree with someone through love we can open our mind to truly listen and by truly listening we open the possibility of finding common ground even on issues we don’t agree with and even if we do not agree we can better understand where someone is coming from.  Through this understanding we may be able to find a solution to our differences.

Know that love is all that matters and no matter how much you have been hurt by love in the past finding the love in everyone that comes into your life is the way to a more joyful life!!!

Till next time,

Bill

Quote of the day: “My heart is filled with love for everyone in my life.  I let go of judgement and listen with my heart instead of my ego by doing this I find true joy.”

When darkness envelops you

We all have bad days, yes even me from time to time.  You the know days where you wake up and feel grumpy or angry or sad or maybe all of these things.  These feelings are a normal part of life.  To feel joy we need to know sadness; to know peace we need to know anger and to find calm we need to feel grumpy every now and again.  I learned over the years of my spiritual growth ways to deal with these feelings so they do not over take you and cause a shift into despair in your life.

We have talked often about focus and minding your thoughts.  The darkness that comes into our life is no different.  We need to acknowledge the feelings that we are feeling, we need to try to understand where these feelings are coming from.   Sometimes either of these can be very difficult to do but first look at what has happened recently in your life, then look at what you are afraid of.  Most often fear is the basis of bad feelings, we are afraid of what might happen, we are afraid of changes in our life that we have no control over or we are afraid of what we are missing in our life or the lack of something in our life.

Always remember that whatever you feel, you are allowed to feel.  No one should ever try to tell you differently!!  I propose only ways to limit darkness that comes into our lives so we do not fall into the darkness itself.  Look for ways to brighten your thoughts, always begin with gratitude for something in your life, through gratitude we change our focus automatically.  Find a song or a quote that lifts your soul whenever you hear it or read it.  Release the fear and know that just by moving forward you are moving towards your dreams.

I have discovered that life is rarely a straight line from point A to point B.  Often it is a winding path that we can only see after we have reached the goal we were looking for.  This alone can cause confusion and distress, just know that as long as you move forward towards your goal God/universe will bring you to it.  God/universe works through everything around us so the path is not always what we imagine it to be, often it is only by looking back that we can see how far we have come and that we are further than we could even imagine.

We all have darkness within us, celebrate the darkness, reflect on its part in your life and move beyond it to a more joyful life.

Till next time,

Bill

Quote of the day: “When the darkness envelopes us; listen to what it has to say, open your heart to the light and discover the pathway to joy!”

The lies within,

Do you lie to yourself?  Do you quietly tell yourself you’re not worthy of what just happened in your life?  The secret lies that we tell ourselves are some of the worst we can have to deal with in your life.  When we continue to lie to ourselves, we perpetuate a cycle that only leads to more disappointment.  Remember thoughts create things so what we say to ourselves even in the quietest part of our mind only create more of the same.

We all have feelings of “not being good enough” at some time in our life and we often interpret others actions as confirmation of our own inadequacies.  We’d much rather listen to the noise of the world to find the truth we’re looking for; then to go inside and discover who we truly are!

The more we tell ourselves lies the further we get from the truth:  You are a beautiful creation, your soul purpose in life is to know you are love and to find and spread love into the world.  We all make mistakes, move beyond them.  We all feel disconnected from the world at times, like we don’t belong or that we’re not good enough.  Don’t believe those lies!!! 

Your Ego is what wants to make you feel inadequate because it wants instant gratification in every moment of every day.  It feeds on your true self to keep itself going strong.  The greatest practice you can learn in life is to quiet the mind and truly listen to the soul.  This took me way too long to figure out and because of that I lived in a state of ego for far too many years.

Let go of the lies, move out of your head and discover the joy you are seeking in your life.

Till next time,

Bill

Quote of the day: “The lies we tell ourselves are the rarely based in truth.  Move away from your head and into your soul for the truth you’ve been looking for.”

Where is your Focus?

What are you focusing on in your life?  What are you focusing on in this minute? By focusing our attention on what we are looking for in our life instead of the problems or troubles we have we can truly change our life for the better.  The truth is whatever we focus on God/universe brings more of that item into our lives.  So many of us are overwhelmed in our lives that we focus only on how busy we are and not on anything to move our life forward.  By doing this we bring more busyness into our lives.  Again, what we focus on comes back to us.

I was just reading a post from Dr. Wayne Dyer where he said that he believed the most important 5 minutes of the day are the minutes right before we go to sleep.  If we can clear our mind and focus on what we want, even if it’s only for tomorrow, we give ourselves the opportunity to see those things come to fruition through our dreams and sleep.  My friend Deepak Chopra always taught that the first few minutes of the day are the most important, that if you stayed in bed and began with being grateful for having another day and then ask for what you want from God/universe in that day.  To me it doesn’t matter which method works best in your life.  I actually believe in doing both…what have you got to lose?  The point here is the focus and thoughts that you’re putting out into the universe.  The only way to truly change your life is to change your focus.  I know it sounds easy and it’s hard to believe that it works but with diligence and continued practice you will see a shift in your life.

We as human beings are all connected and our minds create more than we can ever imagine.  Don’t fall into the trap of misery loves company; it’s easy to complain, it easy to find fault but by doing so your focus is on the negative rather than the positive.  Think of a day where it seemed like nothing was going right, we’ve all had those days, try and remember how many times in that day you said to yourself “What else is going to go wrong today?” and then think about how many things continued to go wrong that day.  Probably many and every time you probably said “what else can go wrong today?”  What I propose is changing your focus from what’s going wrong to what you’re grateful for or to what you’re looking forward to later today.

We all have our moments when we feel out of control but only by letting go and changing our focus can we see our life change around us.  You are amazing and you can create the world you want to see just by changing your focus….believe it, know it & Live it!

Till next time,

Bill

Quote of the day: “Where we place our focus creates more of what we focus on, focus on the good and change your life forever!”

The need for control!

So often in life we feel comfort only when we feel we were are in control of our lives.  This is one of the biggest lies we can ever tell ourselves and yet some of us try to control more and more in our life in effort to find the joy we are seeking or to feel like things will be ok!

The truth about control is this; we have control over ourselves and our reaction to other people.  That’s it, all other control in our life is contrived and actually against our true self.  Control is driven by the Ego, the Ego needs to feel like it has an effect on things in the world because it’s the most important thing in the world.

Without emotional development and learning your true spirit the Ego runs wild and often it’s because of our own insecurities that we try harder and harder to control everything in our life.  This is especially true in business where true leaders delegate and insecure leaders try to control. 

So how do we move beyond control?  The answer is by taking the time to know yourself, by forgiving yourself for past mistakes and by feeling worthy of everything that comes into your life.  I know this sounds simple and in many ways it is, but the time to heal the past can be hard for us in this busy world.  So often we take time for everyone else and have no time or energy left for ourselves.

To truly shift to a more joyful life we need to take care of ourselves first, if we do this we will have much more time and energy for others.  Heal the wounds of the past, know you are an imperfect being that things are going to happen to.  Not because of letting go of control but because trying to hold on to it.

Practice daily affirmations about gratitude and loving yourself, allow others to help you.  Open yourself to letting go of control and watch your life change.

Till next time,

Bill

Quote of the day: “Only by letting go of control can we truly soar!”

Taking a Leap of Faith!

So many of us live in a state of fear; fear of the unknown, fear of failure & fear of change that we refusing, knowingly or unknowingly, to move forward in our life.  This fear paralyzes us and even though our life isn’t what we want it to be, we continue onward without changing anything because we’re afraid.  This is no way to live your life.  Fear should never control your decisions, fear should never be listened to except in life and death situations.  The truth about fear is that it’s based in the Ego, remember that the Ego wants all the attention in our life, so when you’re not paying attention to it, the Ego creates fear to be heard.  The Ego can never be satisfied, it always wants more, to move beyond the Ego takes time and patience.  You must strip away the noise and learn to listen to the small voice deep inside.  This voice is what connects to God/universe and to everything and everyone.  The difference with this voice is that it rarely shouts out.  It waits quietly for you to listen to it.  This voice is always there but to hear it takes time and learning how to discern it from the noise of the Ego.

One of the ways to move beyond fear and Ego is to take a leap of faith.  I recently did this when I decided to take my life back from working in taxes the last 16 years and start my own travel company.  These leaps of faith can be defining moments in our life and no matter how comfortable you are with your decision the fear of the unknown will always poke its head through.  I know in my soul that whether this business is successful or not, I made the right decision to do this.  We all fear failure but failure is part of life and without failing we can never truly soar.  It’s what we do with the failure that matters.  As long as we learn and grow it’s not truly a failure!

So taking a true leap of faith opens your heart and quiets the noise from the Ego.  It connects you to your source and allows your connection to everything.  I have discovered that since I chose to do this that I feel more like who I truly am.  I see things opening up to me that never would have had a chance to be born.  This is not an easy step for anyone but sometimes through these dramatic actions we can find ourselves again.

If you’re thinking about taking a leap of faith; take time, listen beyond the noise and find the comfort in your decision that come from connecting to your true source.  I wish you well, I believe in you & if I can help, please let me know.

Till next time,

Bill

Quote of the day: “When you take a leap of faith, you can reconnect to your true source and change your life forever.”

Do you need a hug?

How often in your life do you reach out to someone else?  Do you give them a hug for no reason?  The quickest way to finding a more joyful life is through helping others.  Sometimes it’s as simple as giving them a hug.  More can expressed in a hug than almost anything else.  I remember a few years back there were a couple of college students that went to big cities with signs that read “Free Hugs”, almost everyone who went by stopped and got one.  The news reports that talked to people afterwards were told that that simple act made their day better.

We get so caught up in our own lives that we forget the impact we can have on others.  We need to open our hearts and minds and give back to the people around us.  I’m not saying we should put up “Free Hug” signs but instead I’m challenging you to do something for someone else every day.  Whether it’s a hug, opening the door, carry the groceries or paying for the next coffee.  These random acts of kindness become greater than us.  We begin to see a ripple effect across our community and eventually throughout the world.

In lives that are way too over scheduled we tend to fear having down time to connect with our true self (soul).  We need time, we need to get out of our own heads and connect with who we truly are (love).  By volunteering, giving hugs or random acts of kindness we move away from ourselves and discover that by giving we receive.  Often we receive more than we ever give but the return isn’t the reason to do it.  The reason to help others gives us joy like no other and moves us beyond our ego that tries to control everything in our lives.

So do you need hug?  I’m here to give you one, anytime or anyplace through the computer or in person.  I’ll give you a hug, I’ll tell you how special you are and hopefully I’ll make your day better or change your life forever.

Till next time,

Bill

Quote of the day: “By giving to others we open our hearts, move away from our mind and discover what true joy really is!”