Comfort

Is your life comfortable?  Do you have a routine that you're happy with?  I was re-reading Tom V. Morris's new book "Twisdom" yesterday & this quote made me think:"There's nothing wrong with a little comfort to help you relax.  It's always a fine servant, but a very bad master."  I think overall we all enjoy comfort too much.  We have a daily routine that we follow & rarely if ever vary from.  We get up at the same time, leave the house at the same time, spend the same time at work & return home at the same time.  We feel good that things go "as expected" in our day because we all find comfort in this normal routine.

The problem is that if we become too routine in our life we're missing out on so much joy.  We aren't truly living in the moment, we're going through a routine.  Before we know it 10 or 15 years have gone by & we're still living the same life.  It might be a nice life, a life we're happy with but it will never be the life we could have.  I'm not saying you should change everything in your life today & actually even a small change for most people is a very difficult thing.  But, what we need to do is examine our life for the possibilities.  We miss so much going through our routine & if we can just open our eyes to everything around us there's so much that's available that we miss on a daily basis.

Here's an example of how I try to live in the moment rather then sticking to the routine; When I'm on vacation or even when I'm "planning" something for a day.  I make a general plan that we're going to go to x,y & z and in general we'll probably stay 2 hours at x, 3 hours at y, & 4 hours at z.  I'm sure many of us do this but what I try to do is enjoy the moment & enjoy where I am at.  So, if I'm having a great time at x I'll stay & enjoy the time I'm having at x if that means I don't get to go to y & z, that's ok with me.  To me it's much more important to enjoy the time I am having then to stick to a schedule.

This is just a small example of how you can step out of your comfort zone & continue to try & stretch your life into a more joyful/positive life.  Remember that life is lived in each & every moment and although we all need some comfort in our lives, the true joy is found in paying attention to each of those moments & stepping beyond our comfort zone.

Till Monday, have a great weekend!

Bill

Quote of the day: "There's nothing wrong with a little comfort to help you relax. It's always a fine servant, but a very bad master."

Tom V Morris's book "Twisdon" is now available on Amazon.com here: http://bit.ly/oBIVO

Empathy

Over the past few months we discussed Love, compassion, kindness & service to others but the next step to truly grow as a person is empathy.  Do you have empathy for other people?  Do you know what empathy is?  Is there a difference between empathy & sympathy?

Let's start with the dictionary.com definition of empathy: "Identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives."  We are all born with the desire to care deeply about other people.  In fact in a recent article I read we begin to show signs of empathy by our 1st birthday & by our 2nd we will actually do & ask things to try & help the person in distress.  So what happens to us?  I believe that many people in the world today are afraid to feel.  They are afraid to get caught up in other peoples problems & it's easier to just not let "others" affect us.

I don't buy any of this.  I have always felt deeply for anyone in my life & I am deeply affected by others when I learn their story.  Empathy is the pathway to a better more joyful life because your emotional connection to others will lead to more & more giving of yourself.  This giving of yourself in return will open you up to receive many more blessings then you can ever imagine.

 Imagine a world where everyone cared about everyone else & because of this we always did what was best for them.  This would lead to a world that was a wonderful place to live!

So is there a difference between sympathy & empathy?  I believe the answer to this is yes!  Sympathy is feeling sorry for another person, which is nice in it's own way but empathy is experiencing the same feelings as the other person.  This deeper understanding of each other and the issues we face is what will make all the difference in the world.

Open yourself to all feelings, your own & all the people in your life.  Be willing to feel deeply & understand where someone else is coming from.  Make the world a better place by having empathy for everyone in your life.  Lead by example, remember what it's like to be a caring child again!

Till Tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "Empathy is the pathway to a better world.  Allow yourself to feel deeply about others & you'll discover more joy in your life!"

Kindness

I've talked in the past about love & being of service to others but I believe it all starts with kindness.  In this day & age I believe there is a movement throughout the world to be kind to one another.  We all hear about all the "bad" stuff that happens in the world. It's reported more often then ever.  I believe these imagines are of small extreme groups & doesn't speak for most of the world.  The NBC nightly news asked a few months ago for "good" stories to have on their broadcast & they ended up with enough "stories" to fill several years.  We all need to take the "bad" news with a grain of salt & believe in the best in everyone.

The movement towards more kindness in the world really gained steam with the 2000 movie "Pay it Forward".  This movie showed us all the impact of a Random Act of Kindness (RAOK) on people from all walks of life.  I believe strongly in the premise of this movie and I have seen firsthand how a simple act can make all the difference in a person day & sometimes even in their life.

I realize in this tough economy that we all have to watch the amount of money we give away & to a large extend everyone seems to need a little bit of help from Non-profits to our neighbors.  That's why the principal of RAOK rings so true to me because this simple act can be anything & doesn't have to cost you a penny or even much of your time.

Think about the next time your in a grocery store & you see a mother with 3 kids trying to get that bag of dog food......how hard is to take a minute & lift it up for her & put into under her cart.  By doing this you may make her day & by continuing to do these random acts we together can change the world.  The more positive energy we give out into the world, the positive energy the world will give back.  

Many people believe that major changes need to happen to make the world a better place. I believe instead that all it takes is for everyone of us to start being more kind.  I realize sometimes we all run into a "difficult" person & it's hard to be kind to that person.  But if you realize that everyone is a divine being trying to rediscover the love in their soul & their own connection with God/universe, you may even find a way to be kind to that difficult person.

Be the change in the world & discover how your life will change around you.  Start today with being kind to everyone you meet & practice a daily Random Act of Kindness.

Till tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "Kindness begins with each one of us.  Practice a RAOF daily & make the world a better place!"

Goals

One of the first blog's I wrote was about using a vision board to help focus daily on what you want in your life.  I use pictures & words on mine & I try to take some time everyday to focus on these images.  Along with this vision board you should also create goals and write them down.
 
In general, we are a goal oriented people & I truly believe that this isn't a bad thing.  The downside to this process is that you have to forgive yourself if you don't reach a goal within the time frame you've chosen & you need to make these goals fluid.  These two points are very important especially being fluid.  As you're living in the moment of everyday you may discover other things you want to add to your goals or move away from.  So don't become rigid in your goal setting instead stay fluid & flexible.
 
The way I go about setting goals is a multi-step process for me.  I start with trying to set goals for the day.  These are the things I want to accomplish throughout the current day.  I try to include practical things i.e: mowing the lawn & things that will help me expand & continue to open me up i.e: reading the next chapter in a book. Then I continue this same process for the week & for the month.  I always make sure to include things that will be for me, as well as the things that need to be done.  It's very important to write down the things you're going to do for yourself because these are the things that tend to be left out or cut out first & in fact they are usually the most important things to do.  Then I tend to make a list of long-term goals.  I am very loose on the timing of these long-term goals because I believe that all goals, especially long-term goals, need to be fluid.  Writing these long-term goals down can help you focus on what needs to be done now to achieve these long-term goals.  Every step you take today leads you to a new tomorrow. 
 
Goals are another way to focus your attention on what you want in your life.  By writing down your goals on a daily basis you can continue to lead a more joyful life.
 
Till tomorrow,
 
Bill
 
Quote of the day: "Open yourself to the discovery of your daily goals.  Focus on these daily goals & watch the world open up before you."

Hope

One of the brightest & best qualities we all can have to lead a more joyful/positive life is hope.  Hope has been ingrained into our culture, at least in the U.S. since the very start of our country.  We've talked before about trying to look at everything in your life from a different point of view.  This change in perspective is very important.  But we all need hope to help us find the positive in everday.

So what is hope and where does it come from?  According to dictionary.com Hope is: "the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best."  No matter what you're going through in your life or what you've been through in the past.  You need to keep hope.  Things will get better, everything has it's time & even the strongest storm comes to an end eventually.

So, how do we keep hope alive inside of us when things aren't going well?  As with so many things in our life, it starts with ourselves.  We need to take time everyday to think about hope.  Our true nature knows nothing but to be positive & joyful.  This true self (our soul) doesn't know what lack is or doesn't believe in anything negative.  So, if we can reconnect with this divine piece of ourselves we will always know that things will get better.  We will always have the feeling of hope because we know at our deepest level that God/universe will bring us to a better place.

The one drawback to hope is that it can lead us to living for tomorrow instead of living for today.  This is a razor thin difference because if we "hope for a better tomorrow" we may always be looking to tomorrow instead of finding the joy in each moment of today.  So, I believe we should always hope for a better today/now & if you're in the middle of something that doesn't seem like it's ever going to end.  The first step to change your life is to live in the current moment knowing that by believing/hoping that things will change that they will change.  Always keep hope in your heart!

Till tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "Keep hope in your heart & always believe things will get better!" 

Regrets

"Regrets I've had a few, But then again too few to mention.  I did what I had to do, And saw it through without exemption." No better way to start a blog on regrets then with a line from Frank Sinatra's song "My Way".  So, do you have regrets?  If you could go back 10 years or 20 years, would you change things?

It seems like a nice thing to think about: "If I went back 10 years ago I would do this different & my life would be better." Sound all to familiar?  Well, the problem with this is that there's no way we can go back.  As I mentioned in the blog about leaving the past in the past, I always liked the idea of Merlin in the King Arthur legend.  Merlin aged backwards so he had all the knowledge of his life (the future) as he aged.  Nice thought but not possible for us to do, at least yet.

So what's wrong with thinking about going back & changing things?  Remember that all thoughts have energy & if you're wasting your time on what could have been you're not living in the moment & you're not creating intentions of what you want in your life now.  Instead you're focusing on a negative moment & disconnecting from the energy of God/universe.  This actually can cause you to move backwards in your journey to joy.

I like the Sinatra song because that's the way I've always tried to live my life.  I have a few regrets in my life, we all make mistakes, but I've never focused on them.  I believe we are an accumulation of all of our experiences.  So, if you were able to go back & change something you'd be a different person.  I'm very happy with who I am.  It's taken me a longtime to get here but I'm very happy with who I am.  It's only through my experiences, good & bad, that have gotten me to the point that I've learned as much as I learned so I wouldn't change anything.

So, let go of regrets, heal the past & move onward to live in this moment of this day.  The past, including regrets have no power over you except the power & energy you give them.  Find joy in today & move past regrets!

Till Monday, have a great weekend.

Bill

Quote of the day: "Regrets are only thoughts that hold us back from living in the now.  Let go of your regrets & live a more joyful life!"

Self Deception

The only way to grow through the processes I have mentioned before in this blog is to be honest with yourself.  I touched on this subject briefly in my blog about honestly but I believe we should examine it more closely today.

There's a lot wrapped up in this issue.  Sometimes it's because of your self worth, sometimes it's because of EGO & sometimes it's because you've lied so much to everyone else you actually believe the lies.  The truth is that whatever the reason the first step to leading a more joyful life & reconnecting with your soul is to be honest with yourself.

I don't believe that this means being hard on yourself, part of being honest is forgiving yourself for your mistakes.  This can be a difficult thing to do but it's the first step of being honest with yourself.  Accept what you've done, forgive yourself and move forward.  Sometimes it sounds so easy to do but in life it's very difficult.  I've written before that once anything is in the past you can't change it.  You can try to make amends for your mistakes if it's appropriate but you can't change the past.  So forgive yourself, we all make mistakes & move on.

After forgiveness, to continue the process of being honest with yourself, you need to accept responsibility for all of your actions in your life.  Even those that weren't harmful to others, recognize the choices you made, don't make excuses, & accept responsibility for all of them.

Understand who you are right now & know that taking the first step is the hardest.  Moving forward will become easier with each step you take but you need to accept yourself for who you truly are & be honest with yourself before you can continue on the path to a more joyful life.  You are a divine being & there's always a way back to your divine connection.  Trust in your ability to change & become the person you know you can be.  Everything is possible & it all starts with you.

Till tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "To deceive one's self leaves you disconnected from everything.  Open your heart forgive yourself & move on to a more joyful life!"