Friday, September 4, 2009

Judging Others

Do you judge others?  Do look at someone & immediately say they are this or they are that?  Do you put everyone in your life into boxes?  This person is my friend but not a good friend because of xyz.  This person isn't that bright.  Be honest with yourself, is this what you do?

Judging others & giving them labels is one of the quickest ways to disconnect from God/universe but one of the easiest things to fall into.  The reason why we feel comfortable in judging people is because of our EGO.  We feel better if we can put other people in a box & especially a box that's not as good as me.

The 5th verse of Tao Te Ching states: "Heaven & earth are impartial; they see the 10,000 things as straw dogs.  The sage is not sentimental; he treats all his people as straw dogs.  The sage is like heaven & earth; To him none are especially dear, nor is there anyone he disfavors.  He gives & gives, without condition, offering his treasures to everyone.  Between heaven & earth is a space like a bellows; empty & inexhaustible, the more it is used, the more it produces.  Hold on to the center.  Man was made to sit quietly & find the truth within."

What does this mean to me?  We are all the same, we are all divine beings created by a Divine source.  On a very basic level we are all energy & our energy is connected to everything & everyone.  If you look for the divine in everyone you meet you will not be inclined to judge.

The old adage "You can't judge a book by it's cover" is very true & you'll never know what someone can bring into your life unless you listen with an open heart.  Move past the EGO & into your soul, for in your soul we are all one!

Have a great weekend!  Till Monday,


Bill

Quote of the day: "We are all divine beings created from a divine source.  Open your heart to others & let go of judgment."

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Resistance

What's your biggest resistance?  What daily actions do you take that you feel resistance to?  Resistance is an interesting Paradox most people think that when they have an automatic resistance to something that there's a good reason for it.  I disagree, the only time that resistance has a deeper meaning is when you are living in the moment & connected to your soul.

So what is resistance?  It's the EGO's fear of change or anything that's different.  One of the quickest ways to change your life to a more joyful/positive life is to pay attention to the things you quickly resist.  This resistance is normally old patterned behavior that the EGO doesn't want to let go of. 

Remember from the blog I wrote on the "EGO" that the EGO lies.  It wants what's easiest & doesn't want change.  Resistance is one of it's first lines of defense, that's why paying attention to it is so important.

In "Perception" we talked a lot about the way you filter everything that comes into your life.  Most of this information is stuff that has been ingrained in us since we were a child.  The battle we always have as we move to enlightenment is to be able to leave the messages we learned, but that don't ring true to our soul, behind.  Most of our automatic reactions are learned behavior.  So, if your parents were prejudice against African-Americans until you unlearn that prejudice & challenge it, your first reaction is to feel uncomfortable or worse around African-Americans.

I'm not trying to imply that everything you learned as a child is wrong.  Instead I'm trying to point out how difficult it is to move past those automatic responses.  The best way to do this is by paying attention to resistance.  Resistance is the first marker of fear, if we can move past these automatic responses, past resistance & beyond fear we can lead a more joyful/positive & fulfilling life.

Until Tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "Resistance is the language of the EGO, move past resistance and lead a more joyful life."

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Opposites

Have you ever thought about the opposite side of you?  Do you accept your negative emotions?  How about your negative behavior?  Can you look at yourself honestly in the mirror?

The whole natural world is created on opposites, otherwise it wouldn't exist.  There has to be a winter in order to have a summer, light to dispel the darkness.  In Chinese philosophy this is shown with the symbol of Yin & Yang which many of us have seen or know.  The idea behind Yin & Yang is that there is a balance to everything & in order to be a whole person we need this balance as well.

The questions I asked above may be difficult questions for some, but in order to grow & have a more joyful/positive life we need to accept & acknowledge our negative side.  If instead we choose to just bury it or ignore it.  The negative will always come back into our lives & it will continue to hold us back.

When I wrote the blog entitled "reflections" I mentioned how people will come into your life that annoy you right away & that these people are reflecting a piece of yourself back to you that you don't want to acknowledge or that you don't like about yourself.  This will always be the case God/universe will always find away to bring back these negative emotions until you accept these emotions as part of who you are.

For a lot of my younger life I was known to have a very bad temper.  I didn't get angry often but when I did get angry I would get very angry.  There were many reasons for this but most of it centered around my feelings of insecurity & not feeling good enough.  What happened to me in order to defend my point, so I wouldn't feel like I was wrong, was I got very loud & angry.  Until I accepted this negative behavior & until I resolved my insecurities I couldn't move past this negative emotion.  I still have, on a very rare occasion, this negative emotion. It will always be a part of me.  But now that I understand it & accept it, I'm able to live a more joyful/positive life.

There are many more examples of this not only in my life but in all your lives.  In order to love greatly you need to know hate.  In order to know good times you have to have experienced bad times.  This balance is always there and necessary.

Look into your soul & accept all the negative as an equal part of who you are.  By accepting & understanding this "dark side" of you, you can expand your joy & live a more positive/joyful life.

Until tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "We are all made up of light & dark, accept both parts of yourself & you will grow to have a more joyful life."

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Being "Not good enough"

Over the last 3 months I have tried to discuss many broad issues that occurred in my life.  I've tried to guide you through the things I've learned to help all of you live a more joyful/positive life.  It occurred to me the other day that the one subject I haven't really touched on is the subject that had an overriding effect on my life.  The feeling of not being good enough.  I realized that this issue is probably common amongst all of us, so here we go.

I believe parents in general don't try to cause issues with their children & often they believe that what they are doing or saying will truly help.  That was not the case for me.  I have mentioned before that growing up I had a difficult relationship with my father.  The bottom line was that it seemed to me that no matter what I did it wasn't good enough for him & to me, the approval of my father was very important.

This caused a great deal of issues in my life.  There was a positive side to it, it gave me an undying will to push on & prove him wrong.  But, no matter how much success I had in my life (personally or professionally) it never felt satisfying.  I was outwardly very self confident & successful but inside I was the little boy who just wanted to know he did good.  This need for approval at times would disrupt my life & make it more difficult to move forward with my life.

So, how did I get through this? & what can you do if you feel the same way? I first started to truly deal with this issue with the death of my father in 2006.  I was overwhelmed with grief and never truly understood why.  It took me nearly a year of "working through" this grief before I realized that part of the grief was the fact that I would never hear him say "you did a great job".  Although this process helped me the true turning point was in 2007 when I hired Susie Wise-Peterson as my life coach.  When these issues would come come up she would ask me just one question "How's that working for you, Bill?".  I realized then that I was holding onto something that was only holding me back.  I knew that I could never grow into the person I wanted to be without letting go of this need for approval.

So how did I get past it?  I spent a lot of time thinking about that question & the bottom was this:  First I wrote my Dad a letter saying to him that I realized that he was only trying to do his best & that I forgave him for making me feel like I was never good enough.  I also spent a lot of quiet time thinking about how he would respond to the letter.  Then and only then I brought that insecure feeling to my heart.  I felt the fear, I felt like that little boy who just wanted his Daddy to love him and then I let it go!  I told myself this is not me, this feeling wasn't working for me & I am good person.  Then anytime after that when a situation came up & I began to feel those old feelings I continued to let them go.  I changed my thoughts to all the successes I've had in my life.  This change in thought & the reattachment of success instead of the feeling of not being good enough changed my first thoughts to the successes I've accomplished.  I no longer feel that emptiness.  I had moved past this issue by forgiveness, letting the issue go & changing my thoughts.

You can move through any past issue by trusting in this process.  Remember that we are all divine beings we can do anything we set our mind to.  Believe in yourself because God/universe believes in you!

Till tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "You are a beautiful divine being who can accomplish anything you put your mind to! Believe in yourself, find joy today!!

Monday, August 31, 2009

Happiness

What is happiness?  Have you ever given any thought to this question?  Happiness, I believe, is finding joy in each & every moment.  I think the problem that many of us have is going "in search of" happiness.  It's an idea that's been with our country from the very beginning, after all right in the Declaration of Independence "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

Happiness isn't to be pursued, it's to be enjoyed.  If you're always looking for happiness you'll never find it.  Way to many of us make statements like; "When I get that new job, then I'll be happy." or "When I get married, then I'll be happy." we set ourselves up to delay what we can have right now.

Yes, the idea that happiness is enjoying every moment is a simple answer but truly it's the only way to discover what you're pursuing.  In actuality, happiness is living from your soul.  The closer we get to reconnecting with our "true self" or our "divine self" the happier we'll be.  We all have it within us to have anything we want.  God/universe only knows unlimited giving.  The problem is that we let our EGO dictate what we want or need to be happy.  This is rarely what we really need, as we discussed a while ago the EGO lies.  It only wants the things that will satisfy the EGO not what will satisfy the soul.  To find true happiness we need to rediscover our divinity....we have to find out who we truly are!

Live from the soul, reconnect with your source & find happiness in every moment of every day!

Till Tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "Happiness isn't something to pursue, it's something to enjoy in every moment of everyday! Be happy & live in the now." 

Friday, August 28, 2009

Outside Observer

One of the best ways to continue your growth to a more joyful life is to become an "Outside Observer" of your life.  What does being an "Outside Observer" mean?  To me it means learning to step away from each situation in your mind & look at it objectively.  We talked a lot about life being filtered through your own perceptions a few weeks ago.  To me, after realizing you are filtering everything, the next step is to learn to be objective in each situation.

This is not an easy step but with practice it can make a big difference.  You can describe this process however you'd like.  Some people may just call it being objective, Deepak Chopra calls it the "Silent Observer" for me "Outside Observer" works best because for me the process is exactly that, stepping away from yourself & looking at the situation in a different light.

So the first question you need to answer is can you be objective with your own thoughts & actions?  This is the hardest part of this idea because even when you think you may be objective you truly may be hung up on your own perceptions.  I don't have an easy answer as to how to become better at this, I can only share with you the process I go through with any conversation/situation I am involved in.

The first thing I do is try to understand why the other person is saying/acting the way they are.  Remember that each us reacts from our own experiences & more often then not we react to most situations by coming from a place of fear.  We're afraid of what we feel are weaknesses in our own life or we're reacting from fear because of a past event that mirrors the feeling of the situation that's happening in-front of us.  Once we understand this key piece we can begin to understand how to help move the situation away from fear into a positive environment.

The next thing I do is look at my reaction to the situation & try & understand what my motivation is.  I am reacting out of fear, am I annoyed because this person is "reflecting" a quality back to me that I don't like about myself?  For most people this may be the hardest part of the process, I know it is still hard for me.  The easiest way I've learned to be able to follow this process is to slow things down in my mind, take a breath & take the time to truly listen.

Once you're able to be the "Outside Observer" in your own life you'll begin to hear the messages that God/universe wants you to learn from each situation.  By beginning to learn the messages of everyone that enters your life you will begin to have more & more snychronistic occurrences in your life.  The more open & objective you can be in your life the easier it will be to find more joy!

Hope you all have a great weekend, Till Monday!

Bill

Quote of the day: "By being the "Outside Observer" in your own life you'll learn to become more open & accepting.  This openness will lead you to more joy!"

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Quieting the Noise

Yesterday we talked about being patient in the storm around you & enjoying each moment regardless of the circumstances.  I think we need to explore the bigger idea here.  In this day & age we are surrounded by way to many distractions, there is "noise" everywhere we go.  In my opinion to much noise.  I think technology is a wonderful thing but it has made us all accessible 24/7 and it creates an atmosphere of distraction.  Remember when you were a child & you had "quiet time" where not much was going on?
Where you explored your imagination & created wonderful ideas.

I think we all need to try & slow down our busy lives & quiet the noise in our life.  As I mentioned before I'm not good at meditation but I do try to give myself "quiet time" each day to reflect on my life & my intentions for the day & for my life.  I try to take this quiet time at least a couple of times a day.  

But let's talk a bit more about "quieting the noise".  In order to truly bring synchronicity back into your life & improve the possibilities for your intentions to be heard by God/universe we need to quiet the noise in our life & relearn how to narrow our focus.  To some people this may be a contradiction to opening up & being accepting to everything that comes into your life.  I don't see it that way at all, I have found in my life that the things I need to pay attention to make themselves known to me.  You'll learn over time what or who you need to pay attention to, trust in the universe.

How do you narrow your focus?  Have you ever been so engrossed in a book that nothing can distract you?  Well the idea behind narrowing your focus & quieting the noise isn't that extreme but it should be an idea that you explore.  Focus on what is important to you & what makes its self apparent to you.  Quiet the other noise & take time to be quiet yourself.  Learn to slow life down & enjoy it, savor it like a good wine or a great meal.  All we have is today nothing else is guaranteed, remember that when a day seems to get difficult, there's always a way to enjoy even those tough days. Together we'll find a way to enjoy each day and find the joy!

Till tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "Quiet the noise & narrow your focus, joy is all around you.  Find the joy & eliminate the noise!"