A walk in the woods

I love to take walks. It gives me time with Heidi, time with our two dogs & time to reflect on "things". We've been lucky because starting on Thursday the weather in Central Indiana has been nice enough to take a walk everyday. We live approximately 5 miles from a state park so it's always easy for us to just take off & go for a walk. The dogs really love to go. They feel the park is their park & they love to explore it.

I've talked often here about our connection with nature & for me personally that connection, many times, keeps me going. The past couple of weeks have been amazingly busy. Things keep happening all around me. I've been volunteering a lot with different organizations & people. Mostly I've written for them but in addition I've also helped with accounting/tax issues. I continue to help my friend with his business. It's been a few weeks now & things are getting to a good place for him. I'm always happy to help anyone I can with any of the talents I have. I've rarely turned down helping others in my life because I strongly believe in giving back.

So why am I writing & telling you about this? I think especially when things get busy in our lives we need to take time to reflect. Time always seems to get away from us & the busier we get the harder it is to take time for ourselves & to reflect on our life. I've discovered in the last few years that the time I take to reflect on the situations in my life & the time I take to reflect on where I'm at within myself is time well invested.

I understand that when you feel you have so many balls up in the air it can be difficult to find the time to reflect. But I challenge you to do just that, even if it's only a few minutes to just "be" & reconnect with your true self. You will find clarity in the time you take to reflect & your life going forward will seem easier & lighter.

So take a walk in the woods or just sit quietly even if it's just for a few minutes. Understand that in order to be a shinning light in your life you need to take time for yourself.

Till tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day:"The time you take to reflect on yourself & the "things" happening in your life will pay bigger dividends then you can imagine. Take time today!"

Overcoming the Judgment of others

Yesterday we discussed judging or stereotyping others. So what happens when you're the one who feels judged. What is your reaction to this situation? Do you attack the person judging you? Do you stay quiet and just allow this judgment to be passed even if you believe it's not true?

One of the first things I ever learned in business is that if you make someone feel like they are being attacked they will only become defensive. This defensive behavior makes progress in any discussion almost impossible. There are ways & techniques around this situation but the bottom line is that when we feel attacked we become defensive.

Outside of business the same statement is true. So if you feel you've been judged, especially when that judgment isn't true, realize that your first reaction will be defensive. Understanding this can help you move beyond the judgment being placed on you. This defensive reaction is our EGO talking to us. Remember that the EGO is always the first to the party & reacting from a place of EGO can almost always lead to greater problems.

So how should you react? I think the answer to this depends on the situation. Beyond your natural reaction of defense realize that who you're with & what the situation is will take precedence over your reaction. (You never want to escalate a situation when you don't feel safe)

I learned, in my life, that the best reaction to feeling judged is time. Take a deep breath move beyond your EGO & into your center. Try & understand where this person is coming from. Also realize that we reflect back to ourselves our biggest fears, so the reason this judgment may hurt is because there is some truth in what is being said or least you fear that there's some truth in it.

My next step is to try & take a measured response. I do this by telling the person that the comment they said hurt me & I ask them to explain why they feel the way they do. A true discussion can be very enlightening. You may learn more about yourself & the other person. This discussion may have to wait if you can't control your defensive reaction because responding when angry can escalate the situation.

When I am unable to have a discussion with the other person/people involved (because of safety or logistics or my defensive reaction) I try to understand & reflect on what has been said. This is true even when the comment is truly hurtful or mean spirited.

The way for each us to grow beyond where we are at in our life is to try & learn from any situation we encounter in life. God/universe has a way of throwing situations at us to help us learn what we need to learn to move on. Being judged unfairly is one of those learning situations. Open your heart to the love we all have inside of us. Understand that rude or unkind comments from another may be their way of trying to find the love they are missing in their life. People react from their own programming, this isn't a justification, it's just a fact of life. In order to grow & help the world to become a better place we have to move beyond the hate & judgment of others & become an example of love for the world to see.

Till Monday, have a wonderful weekend.

Bill

Quote of the day:"Let go of the judgment others place on you. Discover the love you have inside & radiate that love into the world"

Stereotypes

Stereotypes, why oh why do we fall into stereotypes. A while back I did a couple blogs on labeling things in our life & on judging people. Stereotyping falls right into these blogs and if you'd like you can look back & read them (I think they are in Sept. or Oct). Stereotyping to me is a disgusting practice that far too many of us fall into. It's an easy way to judge anyone. You see if you're English you have bad teeth or if your from the south you must be stupid & a hick. We've all heard them over & over again. In fact that's the problem. We've heard these statements so much in our life that they've become a part of our life.

There's a wonderful song from the musical "South Pacific" called "Carefully Taught" here are the lyrics:

You've got to be taught
To hate and fear,
You've got to be taught
From year to year,
It's got to be drummed
In your dear little ear
You've got to be carefully taught.

You've got to be taught to be afraid
Of people whose eyes are oddly made,
And people whose skin is a diff'rent shade,
You've got to be carefully taught.

You've got to be taught before it's too late,
Before you are six or seven or eight,
To hate all the people your relatives hate,
You've got to be carefully taught!


We need to let go of the prejudices & stereotypes that we've been taught all of our life. The only way to move forward to a better world is to become open & accepting to others. Take a look at all the things you define in your life & challenge those definitions. Move beyond the programing of your life. Open your heart & love, accept people for who they are not who they should be.

I know this isn't an easy lesson. It's hard to move beyond something you've always know. There's comfort in the normal or in the deep seated teachings we've learned to accept. Yes, we've accepted them without challenge because they've been so embedded in our life & especially in our youth. Break the pattern & change the world!


Till tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day:"Let go of all the stereotypes you've learned, open your heart to the beauty of others. Make the world a better place."

The Earth

What are your feelings about the Earth? I mean beyond the fact that it's the place we call home. What do you really think? or have you thought at all about the Earth? The last few months have brought about a lot of crazy things happening on this little planet of ours. We have mega earthquakes in Haiti & Chile. We've had huge snowstorms for the east coast, record warm weather in Vancouver for the Olympics, flooding in Europe, Tsunami warnings throughout the Pacific & huge chunks of ice breaking off of Antarctica. Our planet is in peril.

So what are your thoughts? Many people believe the Earth is actually a living being on it's own & it's hurting from the way we are treating it. I know in my lifetime that things are changing, things just aren't right. I'm not trying to get into a deep political discussion here but I believe we all need to start to pay attention.

For me we all have a deep connection to the Earth. A connection that goes back to the beginning of the human race & even though generations have lived in large cities away from the land, I still believe that that connection is here for each of us.

Take time to reconnect with the Earth. There is a divinity in the connection we have with the Earth. Look to the traditions of our forefathers & the true spirit of the American Indians. Take time to just "be" in nature. The planet is depending on us!!

I believe in the human spirit. I think together we can do anything. Let's start today & do the right thing in all we do.

Till tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day:"Discover the beauty & majesty of this precious planet of ours. Reconnect with nature & rediscover the divinity of the Earth."

The Olympic Spirit

Do you enjoy watching the Olympics? Do you get into all the competition? I've always enjoyed the Olympics. I can remember watching them from the time I was very small. I was always very involved in sports when I was growing up & to me the Olympics were the ultimate sporting event. I dreamed more about being in the Olympics then playing professional sports. After enjoying the Olympics for the last 16 days & seeing the U.S. win more medals then any country has ever won in the winter Olympics. I started to think about what I truly like about the Olympics.

Yes, I enjoy the competition & I enjoy watching the joy in the athletes faces when they win or even when they do better than they thought they would do. The wonderful heart warming stories of how they were able to overcome adversity in their life to make it to the top of their sport. Yes, I enjoy all of this but the more I thought about the Olympics the more I thought about the spirit of the Olympics.

It's in that spirit that the world pauses for a few weeks every 2 years & just enjoys the coming together of people from all over the world. It's a sharing of a common event....a true shared experience. All the walls come down between the athletes & between all the people attending the events. It's in this spirit of letting go of our differences that we change the world.

So many of us put up walls to keep others out of our lives. We close our mind & our heart to only let people in who think like we do. We become entrenched in what we think we want or need in our life. The Olympics show us that we can come together & work for a better world for all.

Keep the spirit of cooperation in your heart alive. Reach out to people who are different then you. Open your mind to the love you have in your heart. Let the walls of protection dissolve away & discover that truly we are all the same. Believe in people & discover the love we all have inside.

Till tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day:"Keep the spirit of the Olympics in your heart everyday. Open your heart to everyone who enters your life."

Relationships

Relationships can be an amazing addition to your quest for a more joyful life. The love you discover in another person can lift you to new heights. The drawback is that instead of having love within yourself to give to someone else we expect the other person to give us love to fill us up. Love is truly the answer for everyone but we need to begin with loving ourselves first. Without love of yourself any relationship will run into problems down the road. Discover the love we all have inside of us & you'll have more love in your life then you can imagine.

On your journey to self discovery the support of a partner can help you overcome the demons of the past but there are a few things to be careful of. I unfortunately discovered these the hard way in the past.

1. Change - although you may be going through a great deal of change individually in your journey, you can't change your partner. Change is a personal choice & even when you've discovered things in your journey that really help you. Your partner may not be helped by the same discoveries or just simply may not want to change at all.

2. Control - When we feel like we have so many "balls" up in the air & we're trying to deal with all of them. One of the first things we try to do is to take control over everything in our lives to be able to handle it better. The truth is that we can't control anything in our life except for ourselves & our reaction to whatever happens. This is a hard lesson for some people. Observe life & listen to the messages that God/universe is sending you don't try & "make" things happen.

3. Rescue - When we are injured ourselves we look for someone to be partnered with that we feel we can rescue. It makes us feel better about who we are to be able help someone else overcome their demons. The truth is that as in #1 we can't "will" someone better & we can't hurt deeply enough to remove the pain from someone else. If you want to help others (which is a great thing to do) volunteer for organizations & give freely of yourself to causes.

4. Forgiveness - The greatest gift you have to give in a relationship is forgiveness. Remember the reason why you feel in love with person & understand that we are all human & therefore imperfect. Forgive with all your heart & let go of the mistakes your partner has made.

Remember that we are all on our own journey & together we are always stronger then on our own. Discover the beauty of the people in our life & cherish each relationship you have. As I've said in the past; every person that enters our life is there for a reason, discover that reason & the universe will unfold before you. Love with all your heart & live a more joyful life.

Till Monday...enjoy your weekend,

Bill

Quote of the day: "A relationship can be a beautiful way to discover a more joyful life."

The beginning of joy

Yesterday I left you looking in the mirror. I challenged you to move beyond the past & find your true life's purpose. Today I continue the journey that I took from a life that appeared to have everything but was never truly satisfying....sound familiar?

The journey that I embarked on may have taken longer than others on the same journey but the truth is that the work & journey have been very worthwhile. So back to my story. Many years ago when I had my epiphany that my life was hollow I began to try & figure out how to live a more fulfilling life. My problem growing up & still to some extent was over analyzing everything in my life. I have always been fairly intelligent & my mind always takes over whenever a problem presents itself.

I began to try & figure out how to change to live a more joyful, fulfilling life. A side note to anyone in this situation now, over thinking doesn't work!! I had just started going out with my wife Heidi & she gave me a book that began the change I always wanted. This book was "The Return of Merlin" by Deepak Chopra. I had never read any of his work before & Heidi knew I really liked Arthurian Legend so I believe she hoped that connection would get me to read the book. Well, that book changed my life. The lesson that Deepak imparted in the book was so interwoven with the story that I didn't realize that I was starting to understand what I needed to know to change my life. I would highly recommend this book if you haven't read it.

This book was the beginning of living a more fulfilling life. The journey I embarked on was a very personal journey that took me many years to get to where I am today. I discovered that most of my life was based on my EGO, I still battle with it some today & I found that the mind is a wonderful part of who we are, but it's not who we are. To truly discover yourself you need to move beyond the thoughts in your head & connect with your soul. I learned that the only way to move forward is to let go of the past & that the emotions connected to the past can be changed & rewired by accepting them & releasing them.

Finally I discovered the only way to truly life a more joyful, fulfilling life is to live in the present moment because it's truly all we ever have. I went through heartache & pain to discover these secrets. I continue everyday to try & learn more & become an example of what living a joyful life is all about. I hope you'll stay with me on this journey & I hope I've been able to help you begin to evaluate your life. The change you seek is possible, believe in yourself & know that every step forward is creating the life you want to live.

Till Tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day:"The journey to joy is something we can all discover. Begin today & find the life you've always wanted."