Monday, February 15, 2010


With the Olympics on my mind I thought about striving for perfection. Do you try to be perfect? Do you expect others to be perfect? These are both very difficult questions. I use to be a person who always strove for perfection & expected everyone else in my life to be perfect. For me this came from my feeling of never being good enough in my father's eyes. To make up for that feeling I tried to be perfect in everything that I did & I would get very anger with the others in my life when they made mistakes. But I would, of course, get even more angry with myself when I made a mistake.

This desire to be perfect was a driving force for many of the early years of my life. It totally consumed me & although I was still a positive person the life I lead was not very fulfilling. In fact my life was very inconsistent even when I always made the "right" decisions. The problem is that we are all humans & as human beings we make mistakes. It is through this realization that no matter how hard I try, I will make mistakes that I began my transformation.

Accepting that we all make mistakes & forgiving ourselves & others for the mistakes we make can move us to a new understanding of who we are. Striving for perfection leads us to trying to take control of everything in our life instead of allowing our life to unfold in front of us. Control rarely works the way we think it should & we end up blaming ourselves for the failures we experience in our lives. The truth is that if we live our life in the moment & let go of the need for control amazing things can happen.

In the Olympics all the athletes strive to be perfect even though they know that perfection is nearly impossible. Striving to be better & striving to do the best you can in any circumstance can certainly help you grow as long as you understand that you will always make mistakes. As with the athletes who lose a 1/10th of a point for this or that understand that you don't have to be perfect to live a more joyful life.

Let go of the need for control. Trust in yourself & believe in the others in your life. Live in the moment & enjoy the beauty of your life as it unfolds before you.

Till tomorrow,


Quote of the day: "Understanding that none of us, as human beings, are perfect can help us learn to forgive ourselves as well as others for the mistakes that are made. Through forgiveness we can lead a more joyful life."

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Healing Morning said...

I think we all suffer from this malady on a regular basis. When I become frustrated or impatient with someone else, what works best for me is to take that moment, breathe and just stop the thought process. I then regroup and remind myself that if I'm frustrated with someone else's behavior, I am often guilty of that same behavior currently, or I've done it years in the past. That reminds me to exercise compassion for that person and also for who I used to be when I embraced that behavior. It works instantaneously, calms my heart and brings me back to an even balance.

The days I am harsh with myself in the immediate moment are a bit more challenging to smooth out, as we're always a more exacting taskmaster of self. I apply a double standard there much more often that I'd like, so it is a continual process of evening out, stepping back and recognizing those patterns that I want to release. Refining of the soul happens moment to moment, and the conscious application of same can be so rewarding when you interact with humor & compassion.

Great post, as always, Bill.

~ Dawn

Timberwolf123 said...

Thanks Dawn, I agree it's always harder to be good to yourself but I've truly learned to forgive myself & I too take time when it's others. I try to be compassionate & also try to understand that they are doing the best they can.



Anonymous said...

humans cant be perfect..

i don't mind at all if the people around me made any mistakes, as long as they learn something from it and try not to do it again and realise their mistakes :)

Timberwolf123 said...

In our purest sense we are perfect we just don't reach our true nature easily. I don't qualify mistakes by your terms Hana, I just allow people to be who they are & if that means they make a mistake I just accept it & move on.

Thanks for the comment,



Janie said...

Great post! I find it much easier to forgive others for their mistakes than to cut myself some slack...but it's getting easier as time goes by. This character flaw in me was a result of a highly critical father also. Thanks for the great reminder that we are do not have control over people, places or things in life.

beth chapman said...

Bill perchance the need for perfection is the friction that creates the spark and energy of life or even the wonderful landscapes that leave us in awe. Not an easy battle, I'm still in the fox holes!

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Lena said...

I always strive for perfection, even if that is the thing that won't matter in the long run I need it to be perfect. Else I feel like I am failing. Too many times I told myself to let it go and be content with "good" and "very good", no need to go for perfect all the time.

But you know, with the time people are used to me going for the best and when I settle down for anything less I get quizzical looks and lots of questions if I am alright. At some point people associate you with perfectionism and you are kinda stuck with the image you created, without a chance to go anywhere else because people relate on you and you can't let them down.