Wednesday, January 20, 2010


How do you deal with pain in your life? Not physical pain but emotional pain. I think it's important to discuss the emotional pain we have in our lives & how to deal with it. I know for me it's especially difficult in times like this (i.e. Haiti) because I've always been a very compassionate & empathic person. It's difficult to see the level of tragedy that is going on in the world & not be moved by it.

Two of the most precious emotions we can feel as individuals in this world are compassion & empathy. I wrote a blog on each a few months ago. Compassion is the ability to understand & feel badly for someone else because of what they are going through in their life. Empathy is the ability to actual feel what the other person is feeling or at least a deeper understanding then compassion is. Compassion opens the heart to love. It's the first step to move beyond ones self. Empathy is the key to a better world. It's a big gift to humanity to be able to understand & feel what someone else is feeling.

So how do we move beyond this pain? Or if we're in love & been hurt, how do we move beyond that hurt & pain. I think the answer to this question is difficult because I believe everyone deals with pain in a different way. For me I first try to remember the good things involved with the pain. So in the case of a broken heart I work to remember the good times I had with the person involved. In the case of a world situation like Haiti, I try to find the goodness of what people are doing to help. In other words I release the pain by replacing it with the good that I felt or can see in any given situation.

The bottom line for me & the reason why I decided to write this blog is that regardless of the pain we feel because of having our heart open to Love, compassion & empathy we need to continue to feel these emotions & open our heart to love. The beauty & joy that love brings to our life far outweighs any pain that it may come into our lives. Remember to always come from a place of love, open your heart & give love to everyone. It's the greatest gift we can give.

Till Tomorrow,


P.S. As I write this there was another huge aftershock in Haiti (6.1 magnitude). If you haven't given already to the Red Cross just text "Haiti" to 90999 for a $10 donation added to your cell phone bill.

Quote of the day: "To move beyond the hurt & pain of love, compassion & empathy remember the good & continue to love. It's the greatest gift we can give.


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pr0udmom0f3 said...

Love at times is a hard thing to express. Especially when you are going through emotional pain. Such as loss of a loved one.

I've thus far lost all my grandparents, my mother when I was 12 years old and 2 pregnancies.

After my mom's passing, I had suicidal thoughts and severe depression.

After losing my babies, I felt like God was punishing me for my wanting to kill myself and my anger towards Him when I was a teen (over my mom's death).

Pain in our lives is probably the hardest thing to deal with. Struggling with each day, finding it hard to even at times rise out of bed. But we must push past it and move on.

Happiness can and DOES come out of pushing through our emotional pain.

Thanks for a very good post once again, my friend. (=

Timberwolf123 said...

Yes, losing people we love is also a difficult thing to work your way through. I lost my Dad 4 years ago & learned how difficult it can be to deal with death. Part of the transformation that I've made in my life is directly because of his death. (I also wrote a blog a while ago on death you may appreciate it). The bottom line is that no matter the pain the way through it is to continue to love. It's not always easy but it alone will lighten the load of what you're dealing with.

As far as being punished, I don't believe in a God that punishes. I believe God/universe only knows love & our way to stay connected is through love. Many times the struggles we go through are only to teach us what we need to know to bring more love into our life & thus grow closer to our connection with God/universe.



Healing Morning said...

I enjoyed this post, Bill. I think we all deal w/ each challenge on a very individual basis - there is no tried and true method when something causes sadness in our lives.

I've often said that when it comes to loss, particularly personal loss (death of a family member, a close friend), regardless of whether you know the exact moment of death is approaching, or whether that death is a surprise, you're never truly prepared for that loss to happen. The fact is, we as the survivors are the ones who have to find a way to continue living and find a way to balance our lives.

I'm a highly emotional, empathetic person and sometimes those responses are dramatically felt. I wouldn't change this about my personality because I feel it has made me a more genuinely caring and understanding person. If we live life pain-free, how is growth truly possible? That balance that is produced is what helps us to see the contrast and appreciate the brighter, more positive moments.

~ Dawn

Anonymous said...

Dealing with pain is very difficult but I've found that what works for me is in sharing what I'm going through to God & allowing Him to comfort me. I liked what you said about remembering the good things & the positive aspects of the situation. Changing our perspective can also be helpful, though it might not fully take away the pain. Time heals & we need to give ourselves that time to heal, however long or short it may take.

Jenn said...

How do I deal with pain...? I blog about it!

Anonymous said...

I really like this post!! All day, I've wondered why it felt like I was trying to dance after the music stopped, and I just now realized, I missed my "Timberwolf123 Fix." The third paragraph was amazing, and I'm learning to allow love in my heart once again... I knew the answers, but it was nice to hear you say them today.

I'm going to give you a virtual hug for this post. The first one I've given someone.



Canyn said...

Thank you for your kind heart, Bill, and for reminding us to focus on love instead of pain. XOXOXO