Monday, May 3, 2010

Thinking through change

I've written a lot about change because I believe in it very strongly & the truth is change will happen with or without you. Today I thought we'd discuss the process that most of us go through before we accept "the change" as part of our life.

For most of us the first reaction to change is fear. The biggest fear we deal with in our life & especially with change is the fear of the unknown. This fear is based around what we create in our mind & not what will actually happen to us. In fact most of the time what we create in our mind is much worse then anything we ever actually go through. Why is this? Mostly because of the EGO, the EGO doesn't like change the EGO likes things the way they are because it feels it can control things easier if they are the same.

The way to move beyond the fear of the unknown is to stay in the present. Deal with what's actually happening & not what you think will happen. Understand that the first thoughts & the loudest thoughts are always the EGO.

The next step in the process of change is to take action. What I mean by this is to do whatever the change is, if you want to start an exercise program the action is to start. Once you take action on a change whether it be a change in thought or an actual action like the exercise program you will begin the shift that's needed to accept the change. There will still be resistance from the EGO but because you've taken action the resistance will be less. Part of this "action" step is also acceptance. If you fight the change it will never be as easy as when you accept it & move forward.

The final step is to make the change a regular part of your life. What I mean by this is to make the change a new habit. Until you're able to do this you will always fall back to your old ways. There's a natural excitement to anything we perceive as positive change but what happens is after that initial excitement we fall back to our old patterns & we haven't really changed at all. By making the change a new habit it becomes much more likely that the change will stay. Like anything else in life the more you "practice" something the better you get at it. Change is no different, the more you "practice" the change the easier it will be to make it apart of your life.

Understand the process of accepting change in your life. Remember that you can change anything if you want to. By changing your thoughts you will change your life but the changes you want have to be for you. If you're trying to change for someone else you'll face much more resistance because you have to want the change in your life. Old patterns take practice to move beyond & the EGO is always a stumbling block but true change can happen if you truly want to change.

Be the change you want to see in the world & you're new life will begin to unfold in front of you. Stay in the present, let go of the EGO & practice the change until it becomes who you are!!

Till tomorrow,


Quote of the day:"The change you want in your life is possible. Believe in yourself & commit to the change you want to achieve!!"

Visit the National Gallery of Writing


Tony Anders said...

Well written as always my friend. For me as well in the transition, I must maintain a level of acceptance,allowance, and patience during the change process. Ego certainly does not like any of these in my situation either. Hope all is well!

Timberwolf123 said...

Thanks Tony, I agree patience is also important when dealing with change.

Things with me are good, had two weeks of computer issues but I think I have it all sorted out now.



Sureindran said...

Hi Bill, I am back!

Nobody wants to change when they're somewhere unshakable (atleast most of us). And yes, EGO is one factor. COMFORT ZONE is another.

For myself constant change is a must, be it my activities, my hairdo, my job scope and basically everything. But again, it's sometimes hard to cope but fun to do.

Darren Sproat said...

What a great post on change. I recently wrote a guest post at a friends blog about this very subject... it was motivated by the separation and reconciliation between my wife and I. I learned a great deal about change (both in my control and out of my control) that year.
Thanks for the great read.

Timberwolf123 said...

Darren, thanks for coming over & giving my blog a read. Change is a difficult lesson for many people, I've always embraced it but I've seen people dealing with change all my life & know how difficult it can be. As far as control goes I would say the important thing to remember is that we only truly have control of ourselves & our reaction to others...all other control is only perceived & not real.

I invite to look back on some of my topics because I've touched on these issues before. Look forward to seeing you around more.



Darren Sproat said...

You're dead on. The control I thought I had was all ego based and the changes that were being forced into my life (outside of that ego based control) were pushing me into a place of fear... it wasn't until I truly detached from the whole idea of control (I feared 'giving up' to) that I understood what I had to do.
Move on... focus on the now... and create a life that is wonderful with what I have right in front of me.
Great post and thanks for the follow-up comment.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your gentle wisdom Bill.