Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Being able to Forgive

Are you able to forgive others? or do you always hold a grudge? Forgiveness can be one of the hardest lessons we all need to learn. Sure at times it's easy to tell someone that you forgive them, but do you really? Or do you bury the hurt feelings you have?

Forgiveness is difficult for us because we know we've been wronged & our sense of fairness says that the person that wronged us should have to face some kind of punishment. The truth is that forgiveness can set us free. It is only through the act of forgiveness that we can move beyond the tragedies of our own life. By forgiving & moving beyond the pain of the circumstances, we discover a deeper love then we would ever know without learning to forgive.

Too often we say the words "I forgive you" & don't really mean what we're saying. Even if we're able to move forward with the person, we either hold a deep seated resentment about what they did to us or we choose to never trust them again. Both of these reactions are normal but extremely counterproductive. By forgiving another we aren't caving in on what we believe we are moving above the hurt & opening our heart to love.

One of the best ways to move beyond the past is through forgiveness. Whatever has happened to us in the past, we need to remember it's in the past. Once anything happens to us it can't be changed, so to move beyond the past we need learn to forgive. I try to remember two basic things: 1) We are all human beings & as such we all make mistakes. I am no better than you so I have no right to judge you. 2) Most people try to do the best they can. Their best may not be what we want to see but most people try to do their best.

These two truths helped me move beyond many of the things that have happened to me in my life. I learned to forgive, understanding that the people that hurt me were only trying to do what they thought was right & that they did the best they could. Even in circumstances of tragic proportion, Forgiveness will free us to live a better life.

So how do we forgive? I believe that forgiveness is a very personal process. I have found couple things that worked well for me. I sit quietly & focus on the pain that the other person has caused in my life. I allow myself to feel these feelings & then I let them go. I release these feelings to God/universe and my soul is lifted up. I feel love & a great calm. The other way I've handled this process is to write down everything that this person did to me & how what they did to me made me feel. Then I either rip up the paper or light it on fire. As the paper is being destroyed I again release those feelings & I am feel lifted up & freed from the situation.

Forgiveness is the only way to move forward in your life. It helps us learn to love regardless of the mistakes of the other person. Believe in forgiveness, discover true love & find more joy in your life.

Till tomorrow,


Quote of the day:"Forgiveness moves us beyond the past. It teaches us to love unconditionally & opens our life to discover more joy."

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Anonymous said...

You tackled one of the more difficult subjects on your post today, and you did a fine job!

This is something I will need to continue learning until the day I die.

Great reminder.


Timberwolf123 said...

Thanks Marty, I appreciate the kind words...forgiveness takes practice. It's easy to say the words but much harder to actually forgive.