In this blog I share what I have learned in my life to be a more positive/joyful person living each day to the fullest & staying connected to my soul.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Energy
The next step after the realization that everything has energy is to understand that we can feel & affect this energy throughout the universe. The easiest way to illustrate this, for me, is to talk about people in your life. Do you know a person in your life who is very negative. They're always talking about obstacles in their life or they are just always in bad mood. When you begin to talk to these people you will feel like you're losing your energy & your joyfulness/positivity. In actuality you are, I call these people energy vampires. They just drain all the good energy out of you because they are so negative that they need more & more energy just to get through the day.
On the other side of the coin we all know people that light up the room just by walking in. You feel better just have them around. Their positive energy just flows out of them & changes the mood in the room. This is the person that we should all strive to become. You don't have to be a great social person to become this person. It's not about being loud or overly friendly. These people sometimes don't say anything you can just feel their energy.
So how do we become this positive energy for the universe? For me it starts with the recognition that there is energy in everything. The next step is to understand who the people or which things in your life drain you. Then you need to try & limit the amount of time & energy you spend with these people. The final step is to live in the moment & be joyful about everything that comes into your life. To always look to lift yourself & others up. This sounds like a tall order & sometimes it can be. We all have bad days or circumstances happen that we have no control over, but for me the truth is that you can continue to work on all the things we've talked about so far to bring more joy into your life. It all starts when you are continually in a state of gratitude. When you're in this state the positive energy will continue to grow in you automatically. The hardest part is to limit these energy vampires in your life until you are able to feel their energy, understand their energy & let it go of their energy so it will never affect you again.
Discover the different energies that enter your life & become a positive force of energy. Affect a positive change in the universe.
Till Monday,
Bill
Quote of the day "Feel the flow of energy throughout the universe & influence it in a positive way everyday."
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wisdom/Maturity & Growth
My questions begin with Why?, Why does it take us so long to learn & grow. Why are we so resistant to true wisdom & knowledge when we are young? I think these are hard questions especially for anyone that has children. I have 3 daughters who range in age from 29 to almost 16 but I don't think these questions are unique to my children. I know when I was growing up I thought I knew it all, so I believe this is truly a universal question. I also know that the growth I've gone through over the past 12 years has been amazing. I've been able to learn & grow because of the things I've read, the people in my life & the amazing life coaching of Susie Wise-Peterson. Through this time I've been able to learn some very difficult lessons. Some of these lessons I've already shared with you, I'm hopeful that we can continue to share and grow together.
My question though is why it takes us so long to be open to growth/wisdom & maturity. I believe a big part of the reason is our EGO. I think it takes us years to try and tame the beast that is our EGO & so only after we do can we begin to open up to other possibilities. I've always liked the stories about King Arthur & in fact I wrote a large term paper in college on Le Morte d'arthur the original story of King Arthur written by Sir Thomas Malory. In this legend one of the things I've always found intriguing is the fact Merlin the wizard ages backwards. What a wonderful thought that when we're in our prime we have all the knowledge we've learned throughout our life.
Many people live their life in the past because of this paradox, they fill themselves with what if? what if I could go back in time & change things? What if I knew then what I know now? The real trap is getting yourself caught in this game. The important thing to always remember is to live your life in the current moment & no matter how hard you try, you can't go back & change anything. Accept the past for what it was & move forward to the next moment.
Unlocking the key to opening the mind at an earlier age would be an amazing thing. I think the other part of the equation is experience. I think it takes life expereince to open ourselves up & that's why we are resistant to wisdom, maturity & growth because we need to learn our own lessons in life. If you know anything about the Tao it says that everything will come to you when it's the right time & the right situation. I hope for all of you that the time is right to grow into the pure potential that each one of us has.
Finally, I have one other intersting note at least for me; many of the things I read & learned swam around in my head for years until they truly started to make sense & shift my way of life. Hopefully reading this blog will at least open your mind to the knowledge that will help you to change. The change is truly up to you & it will come when it's the right time & the right situation.
Until tomorrow,
Bill
Quote of the day: "Listen to the wisdom of the elders in your life, they know things you may need to know, to grow into a more joyful life."
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Expectations
Do you have expectations? Do you set expectations in
everything you do? It's very easy in life to expect a certain outcome and
we all tend to do it in almost everything we do. Expectations on their
own are not necessarily bad, but in the universal sense they set up
disappointment and by setting an outcome the universe works towards that
expectation.
So, how do you feel when you've set an expectation, and you have the outcome
you expected? For most of us it's nice but not truly joyful because we
already decided what we will get out of a situation. For example, if you plan a
vacation to place you've never gone to before and set your expectation that
you'll have a good time, even if you have a good time is it truly as good as if
you'd let go of the expectation and just enjoyed the trip?
My feeling is that expectations only lessen the joy you can feel and if you
don't reach the expectation you've set you're truly disappointed. So, why
set them? Why not instead just enjoy every moment and fully enjoy every
experience that you have. To me expectations are like are like a grade in
school if expect an "A" and get a "B" you're disappointed
and if you expect an "A" and get an "A" you're not really
happy because you've reach what you already expected.
Take time to examine what you expect in your life from all situations you deal
with and especially think about what you expect from the people in your
life. Live life in the now and enjoy every moment, celebrate the joy of
discovery and let go of expectations.
Till tomorrow,
Bill
Quote of the day "Let go of expectations and live life in the
moment!"
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Compassion
The greatest love we can have for another is true
Compassion. In today's busy world we are desensitized by other people's
stories. There's so much bad news on the TV, Internet, phone and
newspapers that we've grown into people that don't feel, period. We're
afraid to feel because we're afraid that once we give ourselves to another or
to a situation, we won't be able to manage our own feelings.
Dictionary.com's definition of compassion is as follows: "a feeling of
deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied
by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.". Compassion truly is
the opening of your heart to another...putting their needs before yours which
is as close to unconditional love that we may be able to reach.
Trust me I know it's hard to open your heart, I've been told all my life that I
care to deeply about people and I feel their pain when they go through
difficult things in their lives. Have I been hurt by people because of
this? Of course, I have but I've never changed the way that I am. I
love people deeply and I always look for the positive in any person that comes
into my life. If I can't find the positive, I try to look at what I need to
learn from this person. I also try and remember that we are all divine
beings trying to do our best. People making mistakes is part of us being
human, if we can try and understand where they're coming from, we will grow as
a person and the world will be a better place because of our understanding and
compassion.
Deepak Chopra wrote this about if compassion is superficial : "When your
individual self identifies with the universal self, then it feels compassion
for anyone or any living creature. It’s not superficial in the least, because
whatever you are feeling compassion for, it is yourself that you are feeling.
Nothing could be more personal and direct than your own feelings. And it is
profound because it is more than sentimental or emotional involvement, your
soul is engaging and recognizing itself in the soul essence of the other. You
are seeing yourself and knowing yourself in the life of the being you are
feeling that compassion for."
Open your heart to love and compassion, let go of the fear of feeling, instead
accept your feelings and grow as a person.
Till tomorrow,
Bill
Quote of the day "Allow compassion to open heart and discover what true
love is."
Monday, July 27, 2009
Reflections
I've always been a person who believes that God/universe has
a sense of humor. The reason I am bringing this up now is that to me one
of the most interesting/funny things that happen in life is the reflection of
things you need to learn back at you. Some people become very annoyed by
this process, but I've always tried to find some humor in it because
God/universe will continue to bring this lesson up to you until you learn it and
move past it.
There several parts to the idea of reflection, I will try and give an example
of each one. The first example, to me, is the people you meet. Have
you ever wondered why a person in the office or neighborhood, or church drives
you crazy? They may have never even done anything to get you upset but
there's something about them that you just don't like, and you don't know
why. Most of the time this is because of reflection. This person
exhibits a quality of yourself that you don't like very much or are trying to
work on, for example you tend to be a quiet person who wants to be more sociable
and the person in the office that annoys you is loud and very sociable.
This isn't an easy lesson and it took me a long time to try and look deeper
into why I didn't like a certain person. But for me, I always try to come
from the point of "what can I learn from this relationship" everyone
we meet in our life is there for a reason and sometimes it's because of the
idea of "reflection". To learn the things about ourselves that
we must forgive, work on or move through.
The second way this works is a little more direct. You have a problem
with anger and you know you do but you can't seem to get it under
control. Well, God/universe will throw situations at you in your life
that will cause you to get angry. This may upset you, understandably, but
instead you should be again looking at "what I can learn from this"
. That's why I believe that God/universe has a sense of humor.... not
always a good one but all He knows is to help you to be a better person!
If the same type of situation keeps reoccurring in your life look at what you
need to learn, change or grow through to lead a more joyful/positive life.
Finally, although this isn't truly "reflection" it's worthy of
mentioning here. God/universe doesn't understand "no" all the
universe knows is to provide what we need. So, if you keep repeating that
I "don't have enough money" God/universe will give you more of not
having enough money because that's what you asked for. This is a very
complex final point, and it takes a while to wrap your head around it but to
use the example above you should say "I have all the money I need" and
God/universe will continue to provide you "all the money you
need". This is especially true with your gratefuls and visions board.
Don’t think about lack, think instead about having everything you need.
Thoughts can change the world, watch what you think and try and learn from
everyone that comes into your life, especially if it's someone that annoys
you. Look deep inside & see what's being reflected back.
Till tomorrow,
Bill
Quote of the day "Love the person you see in the mirror and learn from
every person that enters your life. Love to life and love yourself"
Friday, July 24, 2009
Emotional Attachment
Yesterday we delved into one of the biggest obstacles I've
had to overcome in my life, my father. What I learned from the experience
and the process that I went through to remove this baggage from my life is
called "emotional attachment".
What is emotional attachment, for me, the easiest way to explain it is this;
have you ever wondered why a song brings certain feelings to you or a movie or
a picture. The reason we instantly fall into an emotional state when we
hear a song or see a movie or picture is because we attached an emotion to them
the 1st time, we experienced the song, movie or photo. This emotion can
be good or bad, but we save it in our memory, and we always go back to it,
that's the way the mind works.
So, if we expand this idea to events in our life it's easy to see how we can
fall into old patterns quickly. The proof of this to me, coming from a
big family, is that each of my sisters can recite a event that happened when we
were young but because it wasn't an important event for all of us, some of us
don't remember anything about it. Yet the one reciting the story can give
you every detail still like they were living through it again right now.
The problem with this is that if we've had difficult things happen to us in our
lives, like my dad saying, "You could have done better". We
attach emotions to anything similar that reminds us of those words and
instantly you can be pulled down to a very bad place. It works kind of
like this for me; 20 years ago I was fired from a job, I had no idea it was
going to happen in fact I did a lot of good things for this place but in my
head rather than thinking about the good I did, I went immediately to "I'm
not good enough"....."I can never be good enough". Thus,
what followed was weeks of trying to get out of this depression that was caused
by this "old emotion" which really didn't have to do with the job
situation.
The way we get past this is to recognize the emotional attachment and choose a
different reaction. This takes work but the rewards are great because
just as the mind remembers the original event once we re-attach the event to
something different the mind will remember the new feeling. This change
in thought is what will help us get past anything that has happened to us in
our past. If we move our "old" destructive thoughts to
"new" positive/joyful thoughts we can truly change our lives.
I hope this helps and I hope you all have a great weekend.
Till Monday,
Bill
Quote of the day "Find an old thought or feeling, change it to a joyful
new thought and you'll never fear the past, again."
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Love Yourself
The response to yesterday's blog was amazing & several
of you commented to me that being quiet is something that's hard for you or
something you don't like to do. Because of that I wanted to talk about
the struggles I had with being quiet when I was younger. To me one of the
main reasons people are afraid or don't like to be quiet is because they don't
like themselves very much, I know that was true for me.
It's important to understand that to give love you need to have love to give
& that truly begins with loving yourself & being comfortable with who
you are. For me it took many years to get there, I grew up in a family of
5, I have 4 sisters & I'm in the middle of them. A lot of pressure
was put on me by my dad because I was the only boy & he wanted me to
succeed. The problem was he wanted it so much that I could never do
enough to please him. I was almost a straight A student, finished in the
top 10 in graduating class in HS, was a pretty good athlete, involved in
student government, chess team, choir & all the school plays. But it
was never enough for him & therefore I never truly knew who I was or what I
really wanted in life. I stumbled through life until I was in my mid 30's,
that’s when my change began.
I was fortunate to meet Heidi who was very supportive of me, changing some of
the things I didn't like about myself. As I mentioned before, the change
started for me with reading "The Return of Merlin" by Deepak
Chopra. He is still one of my favorite authors & I own 8-10 of his
books. I've also enjoyed Julie Cameron, James Redfield, Neal Donald
Walsch, Gary Zukav & Marianne Williamson to name way too many.... LOL
Anyway, my change took time & I didn't really get past my fear of quiet
until my dad’s death & the help from my life coach Susie
Wise-Peterson. What I learned is that you must forgive yourself for the
things that have happened in your life. As I've mentioned before the past
is the past & you can't change it no matter how hard you try. But, if
you acknowledge it, forgive yourself or the other person or both & let the
pain go you can move past it. I've discovered that everything in your head,
no matter how bad, can be changed by the steps I just outlined. It's in
that change of thought that you can be reborn to a more joyful/positive life.
Once I resolved the issues with my Dad, I actually loved being by myself &
I enjoy taking time to be quiet. I know the only way for me to continue
to grow is to love myself so I can share that love with the world. The
change in me was/is dramatic & I know it can happen for you as well.
Continue with me on this "Journey to Joy".
Till tomorrow,
Bill
Quote of the Day "Love yourself first, it's the only way to be able to
share your love with the world."
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Silence
Most of the topics we talked about over the past month have
been very active ways of starting the change in your life to a more
joyful/positive life. I've always considered myself a person of action so
that's the easiest way for me to start. But there's another very important tool
to remember and that is silence! Just being quiet, clearing your mind
& listening to your soul is a great way to center yourself and remove all
the noise around you.
I have never been into meditation, I know it works wonders for some people, but
I haven't found a practice that works for me. I instead just be quiet,
one of my favorite places to be quiet is in the Smokey's. Heidi and I try
to go down there as often as we can & I love to sit out on a trail or just
on the deck where we're staying and just take in the beauty around me.
When I'm not there I envision being there when I take time for my quiet
moments, because for me beauty and quiet just fills me up.
The reason why silence is important is because it slows us down and helps us to
refocus our energy. Life is lived in the pauses; it's the pauses that
give life more definition. Like the pauses between notes of music.
Without the pauses all we are action and movement. Life is made up of
opposites without the bad we wouldn't know the good. I feel this is
especially true with silence.
We all live such busy lives and it's hard to take time for yourself but as with
morning gratefuls and your vision board please take time to just be
silent. The peace you find in the quiet will lead forward to a more
joyful/positive life.
Till tomorrow,
Bill
Quote of the day "Live in the moment because the pauses between breaths
are what lead you to your next adventure. Every moment has meaning."
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Unlearn
To follow up on yesterday and the idea of looking at the
world through a child's eyes. I wanted to talk a bit about the stuff we
are taught as we grow older. There's a song from the musical "South
Pacific" called "You've got to be carefully taught". Here
are the lyrics:
You've got to be taught
To hate and fear,
You've got to be taught
From year to year,
It's got to be drummed
In your dear little ear
You've got to be carefully taught.
You've got to be taught to be afraid
Of people whose eyes are oddly made,
And people whose skin is a diff'rent shade,
You've got to be carefully taught.
You've got to be taught before it's too late,
Before you are six or seven or eight,
To hate all the people your relatives hate,
You've got to be carefully taught!
This song has always rung true to me because as I said yesterday a child looks
at the world as a wonder. Everything about it is joyful, the discovery of
new things is awesome.
So the challenge as we get older & as we try to return to that the
childlike vision of the world is to "unlearn" all the things we have
been taught. We must work hard to let go of the negative vision we've
been told of the world, as most of it isn't true. We are all connected
and if we all try to let go of the lies, we've taught throughout our lives and return
to the purity of a child we will be in a better world.
The final part of trying to return to being a child is to find time to
play. Give yourself time as often as you can to rediscover the joy of
playing. Whether it's a sport you like, a game you've always loved or
doing something creative, make time to play & you'll fill your soul with
joy. Resist the urge to say you can't make time for play. Remember
small steps create new habits so if you make the time to play, you'll continue
to do it.
Let go of what you've been taught, believe that every moment is joyful.
Till tomorrow,
Bill
Quote of the day "Open your mind and unlearn the lies you've been taught
in your life. Find joy in every moment, be a child."
Here's Mandy Patinkin singing "You've got to be carefully taught"Quote of the day "Find the beauty in everything in your life & your life will be more beautiful"
Monday, July 20, 2009
Beauty
So, I know what you're thinking, what does beauty have to do
with living a more joyful/positive life? Well to me, beauty has to do
with becoming more aware of everything in your life. We all remember the
old saying "Stop and smell the roses", as part of our opening up and
being grateful in our lives, we need to find beauty in everything around us.
It can be as simple as appreciating that rose in your garden or on your walk
from your car to the office. Or it can be as complex as finding beauty in
each person you meet. Find beauty in everything and the whole world will
feel more beautiful. As with everything else we've discussed, this shift
will have a ripple effect on your life. Before you know it everything in
your life will become more beautiful.
I know this sounds simple and in a lot of ways it can be simple, but the truth
is looking at things from a different perspective is an amazing way to
grow. I like to think about it as seeing the world through the eyes of a
child. Everything in a child's eyes is full of wonder and that joy is the
true appreciation for the joy in their life.
Getting back to the wonder of the world through a child's eyes and shedding the
cynical look we develop as an adult will truly change your life & bring
more joy to you.
I've been on a music kick and the song that reveals this truth the most to me
is "It's a wonderful world" by Louis Armstrong, enjoy it at the
bottom.
Lastly, my original goal for this blog was for it to become more interactive
then it has been. If there's something that's important to you that you'd
like me to write about, please feel free to leave a comment here or @ me on
twitter @timberwolf123.
Have a great Monday,
Bill
Quote of the day "Find the beauty in everything in your life & your
life will be more beautiful"
Friday, July 17, 2009
Time
Many of you have asked me how I decide what I'm going to
write every day. The truth is that I try to stay open and let things come
to me. Sometimes, like this morning, I wake up with the idea in my head.
So the title of today's blog is "Time" and I think it's an important
thing to talk about. Once you start to practice the things we've talked
about, you need to understand that although this practice will improve your
life. That with life has its own flow. You will still have good
times and bad times just as there are different seasons. These practices
will make the fallow times easier, but the fallow times will still be
there. Why is this? Because to appreciate the best, we must
understand the bad. The song that always said this the best to me (and
the one I woke with in my head this morning) is The Byrds "Turn, Turn,
Turn" Here are the lyrics:
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time for peace, I swear it’s not too late
There is no magical cure to make life always be the best. But the more
you work on the practices we've discussed the lows will be less & the highs
will be higher. It's an amazing thing to be connected to God/universe and
the feeling you get being in the flow is incredible. Continue your work
and I'll be here to help.
Have a great weekend, see you Monday,
Bill
Quote of the day "Life is full of mystery, enjoy the good and the bad for
it's the bad times that make us appreciate the good"
THE BYRDS "TURN, TURN, TURN"
Thursday, July 16, 2009
EGO
Ok, it's time to start dealing with the large white elephant
in the room with us.... LOL. EGO is a tough subject and that's one of the
reasons I've waited to talk about it. Everything we do as human beings is
influenced by our EGO's. It's one of the toughest things to realize &
even harder to get past. I know for me personally it's been a hard evolution.
As many of you may know, I spent nearly 10 years as a professional actor and
much more time than that in the theatre, so EGO has always been a part of my
life.
Fortunately for me, through the personal growth I've done over the past twelve
years I've learned to recognize when it's my EGO that's talking. I
usually can get past the immediate need for gratification that the EGO needs to
move onto a better place.
So what is EGO, we probably all think we know but one of the definitions I like
the best is from Wayne Dyer, Edge Out God that's really what we're doing when
EGO is involved. We are all divine beings created by a divine being and
as such we are all connected but as we grow as individuals, we start to worry
about what "I" want, and we move away from our divine nature to
satisfy this hunger that is our EGO. The unfortunate thing is that no
matter how hard we try we can never get enough or have enough to satisfy the
EGO.
The EGO has an insatiable desire, it wants more of everything...more
recognition.... more money.... more things......more friends......ok I'll stop
now you get the idea. We can never satisfy the EGO....so why try?
Why not instead move past the EGO!
This is not an easy task. The first step is to realize that the EGO
always talks first and loudest. It wants and needs your attention, and it
will continue to try and get your attention back. So, for me, I try to
acknowledge the EGO and let it know that I hear what it's saying...sometimes
that will quiet the EGO enough to get past it. The next thing I try to do
is move onto how anything makes me feel, not in my head, but deep in my
soul. Usually, the feeling of the EGO is an empty feeling. In your
head it may sound good but, in your heart, and soul it will feel empty.
Feel that true feeling deep inside before you act.
Always try to connect with your true feelings, this one task that with practice
will lead you to a more joyful/positive life. The EGO will always lie to
you, your true feelings will not.
Till tomorrow,
Bill
Quote of the Day "The EGO has an insatiable desire for everything.
Connect to your true feelings, let go of the EGO and be more
joyful."
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Smile
First, I should say that I'm not a big "celebrity" watcher type of person. I appreciate all celebrities for their talent and realize that they are just people like you & me, that have their own problems & issues to deal with. I try hard in my life to treat everyone the same I try hard accept the good in everyone and forgive the flaws/problems. So what's the point? Well one of my favorite parts of the tribute was Jermaine Jackson's performance of "Smile" (if I've done it right it will be at the end of this blog).
The Lyrics of this song were written by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons with the music by Charlie Chaplin. Here are the original lyrics:
Smile
tho'
your heart is aching,
Smile
Even though it's breaking,
When there are clouds in the sky- You'll get by,
If you
Smile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through- For you.
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide ev'ry trace of sadness,
Altho' a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile- What's the use of crying,
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile.
I've always liked this song & I thank Michael for bringing it back into my life. The impact of a smile on someone elses life can be amazing. But the point of this song is the impact on your own life. When you smile and really try and make the smile genuine it can actually change your day. I believe this is because a true, because a smile, like a real laugh, comes from deep inside you. It's a connection from your soul to the world. That's why a smile can light up a room. It's a nice easy way to try & feel better when you're down....try it.....Just Smile!!!
Here's Jermaine:
Till tomorrow,
Bill
Quote of the day "A smile is a window to the soul. Smile today & brighten the world with your soul
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Change
I've always embraced change; in fact, I've been called a
"change agent" at a couple of jobs that I've had because I'm always
looking for a new way to do things. To me change keeps things fresh and
alive. Most people though are afraid of change and in fact will fight it
to stay in their comfort zone. Are you afraid of change?
Since I started this blog with the intention of helping people to have a more
joyful/positive life, I thought it was time to talk about change. Most
people prefer to keep their life in a comfortable routine. They do the
same thing day in and day out and rarely embrace change of any kind.
Change will happen in your life with or without you so why not embrace the
change.
The bottom line is that to enjoy a more joyful/positive life you need to make
the decision that things will be different in your life. You need to let
go of all the old ways of doing things. Step outside of your comfort zone
and accept a new way of living your life. Changing your way of thinking
is up to you. As with the "Internal Dialogue" we discussed
yesterday, look at the way you think about everything.
Let go of the old arguments, stop making excuses, the only one who can change
your life is you! Be a change agent in your own life and enjoy the
benefits. The universe/God will respond to you if you take the first
step. I welcome you on this path of change.
Till tomorrow,
Bill
Quote of the day "With a single change in thought, your life can be more
joyful. Embrace change, today!"
Monday, July 13, 2009
Internal Dialogue
The next step to a more joyful/positive life is to examine
your internal dialogue. What is your internal dialogue? To me the
internal dialogue is your automatic response to some event which normally isn't
expressed except in your head. An example of this might be when someone
cuts in front of you in a line; In your head you may be saying.... What the
hell does he think he's doing? But you may just smile and let it
go. I'm sure if we all think about it we can come up with several more
examples of what internal dialogue is.
What does internal dialogue have to do with being more Joyful/positive?
Well, if you've been working on your morning grateful’s and spending time with
your vision board and trying hard to do all the steps we've discussed then the
internal dialogue is what we need to change.
All the work you've done is starting to change you from the inside out but that
first thought or the unspoken word is really your EGO speaking to you. (I think
I'll deal with EGO sometime this week) We need to let go of that
dialogue. Realize that the internal voice is the EGO & that it is
trying to hang onto the person you used to be or it's trying to get your
attention.
How do we change the voice? This is not an easy thing to do. The
way to start the change is first to understand that it's not truly you that is
thinking this dialogue. Then acknowledge the thought & let it
go. Then after letting the thought go replace, it with how you'd like to
react or what you'd like to say. Going back to the example above with the
person in line maybe you would replace it with "I'm not in a hurry now
& maybe he has someplace that he needs to get to.". Feel the
difference between the immediate reaction (internal dialogue) & the
replacement thought. feel how positive replacement makes you feel
better.
Over time the internal dialogue will switch from the EGO to your soul/heart,
and you will begin to feel much more energized & positive.
Till tomorrow,
Bill
Friday, July 10, 2009
Love
The greatest gift we must give as individuals is our ability
to love one another. On our journey to a more joyful/positive life, love
truly is the key. If we act first with love, we will always be open to
the best result. Over the past couple of weeks we've focused on some of
the things that can hold you back from having a more joyful/positive life but
today love is the answer.
I know at times this is easier said than done, people that enter our lives can
be difficult at times to deal with. The key truly is love, if we are open
& working on all the things we've talked about you should be in a state of
openness and love. This state of being keeps us all at a higher level of
energy and makes loving everyone in our lives much easier. But as we work
towards this higher state of being we can make the transition easier by staying
in a state of love.
What do I mean by a state of love. Well for me it's not prejudging anyone
in my life no matter what they look like or sound like or twitter like. I
give people the benefit of the doubt & I find by doing this that I am
blessed in my life by a diversity that helps me learn & grow more as a
person. The second thing that I do is try to treat people the way I would like
to be treated. I try to live in an openness that moves to the positive
first & thus brings more positive reactions from the people in my life.
We talked a couple of days ago about Synchronicity & I believe that every
person enters our live for a reason. If we act from love, we are more
able to understand the message they may have for us. I know you're
thinking there are people that you meet just in passing, what message could
they possibly have for me. You'll never know if you don't try &
remember that things work both ways. That bagger at the grocery store may
be having a bad day & your smile or friendly "Hi" might just lift
him/her up to a better day. The bottom line is you never know, but if you
act from love you give yourself chance at a whole new world.
Love truly is the answer & the more we practice living in love the more
joyful/positive life we will have.
Till Monday,
Bill
Quote of the day "Love is the key to a more joyful life, open yourself to
love & everything is possible."
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Forgiveness
One of the best ways to move forward to a more
joyful/positive life is through forgiveness. Forgiveness can be difficult
for all of us, but I am reminded of the old saying "To error is human to
forgive is divine." This truly is the case, when we forgive, we move
closer to God/universe.
So, what is the stumbling block to forgiveness, most of the time it's our EGO
which feels injured in some way by what the other person has done or what we
perceive was done to us. Our perception of what someone has done to us is a
difficult stumbling block in our lives. We all, no matter how objective
we are, filter things through our own life experiences & perceptions.
When we've been injured deeply, to the point that we have created fear and/or
anger we have problems moving to forgiveness because the original issue is
brought to the surface. The person who did or said whatever it was that
brought us back to fear and/or anger may not even know that they did something
wrong. Yet, we won't forgive them because it hurt.
The answer to this paradox is to act from forgiveness first. To always
forgive & let the incident go. This is not an easy process & for
me it takes me a few minutes to move past the situation before I can forgive,
but forgive I do. The reason I'm able to do this is because once anything
happens in our lives it can't be taken back. We talked a lot about letting
go of the past & for most of you that probably meant the distant
past. But the past is anything that's happened.... Once it's done it's
done and as I just mentioned nothing in this world can change it once it's in
the past. So, act to forgive and move to a more peaceful & joyful
place.
The final piece of this puzzle is the biggest & that is to forgive
yourself. As with the other person above, no matter what you've done or
perceived that you did in the past.... It’s in the past. Forgive yourself
for your behavior & move on. Understand that the longer you hold on
to regret the harder it is to be in the present & move to a more
joyful/positive life.
I realize that this is easier said than done but understand that no matter what
happened in your past, what you said to someone or what you did to someone or
even what you did to yourself. You can't change what happened, it's
already done....so for you to grow as a person & become more connected with
God/universe the only path is forgiveness of yourself. You are a divine
being created by a divine being.......our path in life is to love & return
to as close as we can to our origin of divinity.
Forgiveness is the path.
Till tomorrow,
Bill
Quote of the day "Forgive one another but especially forgive yourself,
through this forgiveness you will find joy."
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Synchronicity
Many of you probably know the definition of Synchronicity
but for those of you who don't here it is:
"Coincidence of events that seem to be meaningfully related, conceived in
Jungian theory as an explanatory principle on the same order as
causality."
Why is this important? Because as you move to a more joyful/positive life
Synchronicity becomes more & more a part of your life. This has to do
with the opening up of your mind & reconnecting with God/universe.
The challenge in your life is to notice all the things that start to
happen. As you notice, these events you will find more & more things
will begin to happen. But for now, awareness to the events is the most
important thing.
The more you pay attention to even small things like the light changing just as
you're coming up to an intersection, the more things will begin to
happen. I add this discussion now because it alone can start to lift you
up to a more joyful/positive life. It's an amazing feeling to be in the
flow of the universe & it is the place we all should be daily. The
problem is that as we deal with our day & our positive energy begins to
fade the Synchronicity doesn't happen as easily.
A great book to read to help you understand about the vibration of energy in
our life is "The Celestine Prophecy" by James Redfield the journey
that the author takes through self-realization is a journey we all need to
take. By understanding how our thoughts affect our energy as well as the
people we surround ourselves with can take some practice. The easiest way
for me to illustrate this here is this: Have you ever noticed that when certain
people walk into a room everyone notices? It's not because of who they
are or that they are better looking than anyone (although both of these things
are possible) it's because they have an energy about them that radiates out
like the stone thrown into the pond. Recognize your shifts in energy and
begin to understand what causes them. This small practice along with
everything else we've talked about will boost you more than you can imagine.
Till tomorrow,
Bill
Quote of the day "Live in the flow of the universe with an open heart
& mind & amazing things will happen to you every day."
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Anger
One of the last things I feel we need to discuss that can
hold you back from more joy in your life is anger. Anger is a powerful
emotion & can cause great struggles in most people’s lives. I
personally struggled with it for years & still on occasion I must remind
myself of the tools I use to get past anger.
Anger can be an immediate response but is usually based on past emotional
triggers. Many triggers, if not all, are based on fears we have.
Fears that we don't let go and resolve become internalized and end up as
triggers for anger. One of the biggest triggers in most people is the
fear of self-worth. We tend to react with anger when someone else
challenges our knowledge or decisions because we feel insecure with who we are,
so rather than caving in because we feel bad about ourselves, we get angry
& fight to defend what we believe. This is to try & give
ourselves more self-worth. The problem with this is that even if we end
up winning the argument we only end up with short term satisfaction because the
base trigger is still there.
So what do I do, for me it's a multiple step process. First, I try to
take a breath and realize what I'm feeling & why. Then I try to
realize that the anger I'm feeling has nothing to do with the person I'm
talking to, it instead has to do with me. In the next step I try to let
the anger go and relax, I don't have a certain way of doing this; I just try to
calm down and listen to the person more carefully.
Finally, after the situation is passed. I try to understand at a deeper
level what sets e off. I will often discuss it with my wife, Heidi,
especially if she was around when the trigger happened. For me, this is a
continuing process of learning & evolving but the release of anger &
the understanding of the triggers are very important to be able to grow into a
life of more joy.
Remember, the more you can let go of negative emotions & behaviors the
easier it will become to have a more joyful/positive life.
Till tomorrow,
Bill
Quote of the day: "Anger is a poison of the soul, let go of the anger
& reconnect with your soul"
Monday, July 6, 2009
Giving Thanks
Have you thought about your freedom? I think most
people who live in this country take their freedom for granted. Would you
be willing to sacrifice your way of living to defend your freedom? I
think most of us would reluctantly fight for our freedom if we were ever
invaded, but beyond that we don't worry or think about the cost of
freedom. Part of the reason for this, I believe, is because the draft is
no longer around so we assume that everyone in the service wants to be there.
People join the services for a variety of reasons these days & a lot of
them join to try & make a better life for themselves & their families.
Many of the members of our armed services are younger people that have joined
to give themselves the opportunity for a better education. Still others
joined the national guard assuming they would only be used for national
emergencies. Did you know that largest number of casualties are among our
national guard troops.
So on this Monday after the 4th of July do, we truly understand the sacrifice
these men & woman go through? How would you like to be told that in
two months you were going to be away from your way of life for 1.5 years .... Could
you adapt? Well, our troops do that for us & our freedom. They
leave their jobs, they leave their families & they leave every part of
their lives to go & fight two wars thousands of miles away to defend our
way of life.
When they return, their life is different. It's different because of what
they've seen & had to deal with on a daily basis and it's different because
their lives have changed while they're away. Why? because in their
absence everyone must move forward with their own lives. We do this so we
can keep moving forward but we don't realize the impact on our returning
troops. They come home feeling like an outsider in their own life.
Because of this many of them can't deal with the changes and end up taking
their own life. Is this what we want? What do we believe is part of
the sacrifice of being a member of our armed services?
I don't believe any of us want this to happen, but I do believe that we don't
act to help. So, what can we do; First donate time or money to returning
veterans associations, Second, if you know someone in your neighborhood that
has served reach out to them help them re-engage in your community be their
friend. Third, if you only see them in passing, thank them, give them a smile
and any small gesture can help to make their day better.
Together we can change the lives of the people around us. Together we can
make a difference in the lives of our returning troops. Think about what
you can do today! Help the country heal and avoid any further sacrifice.
Till tomorrow,
Bill
I wrote this blog from a friend’s request & out of love & support for
our troops. If there's something you'd like me to write about please feel
free to let me know.
Quote of the day: The dreams we dream are all made possible by the people who
served our country & paid the ultimate price to keep us free, never
forget."
Friday, July 3, 2009
Dealing with Crisis
When we practice the tools, we already discussed making your
life more joyful & positive we still have things happen to us. Life
has a way of getting in the way of our joy. Last night & this morning
I've had to deal with a family crisis & it reminded me that we can't
abandon our joy just because of things that happen to us. We must
remember that everything has its time, just as the planet has its seasons we go
through times when things aren't going the way we would like them to go.
This isn't because our practice is wrong, it's because things can't always be
"the best" & because we can't control the other people in our
lives.
I've talked a lot over the past two weeks about letting go & releasing
control over everything in your life. Remember as much as we find comfort
in control, we can only truly control two things in our lives: ourselves &
our reaction to others in our life. No matter how hard we try and no
matter how much limited success we have with trying to control more, we can
never be connected to God/universe until we understand this simple point.
So how do I deal with a crisis; I first ask myself what should I learn from
this situation what is God/universe trying to teach me that I need help
with. Second, I try to understand that as much as I love the people in my
life, I can't make them change their life. All I can do for the people I
love is love them for who they are and be there for them through whatever they must
deal with in their life.
I think this is an important lesson for all of us. Don't lose your focus
because you've had to deal with unexpected things in your life. Stay as
joyful as you can even in the difficult times & you'll be rewarded with
more joy when the time comes.
Hugs,
Bill
Quote of the day "Find the joy even in during the fallow, difficult times
for everything has it's time and none of them are without joy!"
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Fear
One of the other things that can truly hold you back from
more joy in your life is Fear. We all have fears, most of which are very
irrational and have no true basis in our lives. Dealing with fear is a
very complex issue and I can't possibly go into all the different types of
fears we can have here or how to possibly deal with each & everyone.
The important thing for bringing more joy into your life or being more positive
is that we must let go of our fears. Most fears are formulated in our
minds and although some have an emotional component to them, it's truly the
mind that will lead us astray. There is a constant battle going on with
most of us between our mind/ego and our soul/heart. As I have mentioned previously,
the Ego is a big challenge & I will write more about it as we progress in
our path. Let's continue to discuss fear, so the mind creates fear mostly
because of the unknown. We try to rationalize everything in our lives
& when we can't do that or we don't know the answer, we tend to create
fear.
The biggest fear in the journey to joy is the fear of the unknown. Part
of "letting go" & connecting with God/universe is to embrace the
unknown, knowing that when we are connected, we will be taken care of even if
we don't know for sure where we are going. To some extent this goes back
to control, which we have talked about before. People tend to try &
over control their lives and this act alone will disconnect you from
God/universe.
We as humans believe we always know what's best for us. The truth is our
ego thinks we know what's best for us but actuality we don't. The battle
that goes on between the head/ego & the heart/soul is complex. The
point for today is to understand that the fear of the unknown is holding you
back from a more joyful life. Fear is one of the strongest negative
emotions we have, so to move past it we need to understand why the fear is
there, accept it and move on.
Understand that by embracing the unknown and knowing that we will be taken care
of. We can move forward to a more joyful/positive life. The
universe/God only wants to bring us what we want by letting go of fear we
clarify our path so the universe/God can bring us to joy.
Till tomorrow,
Bill
Quote of the day "Fear is our head getting in the way of our heart.
release fear and find joy in your heart."
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Living for Today
I know it's a bit cliche, people use it all the time but
what does it really mean? I think it means different things to different
people & there are many more cliche's like "stop & smell the
roses". For me it goes hand in hand with the letting go message we
talked about yesterday. Why? Because to live in the present moment you
need to detach yourself from the results that you envision.
I'll go much further & say that you must stop living your life for
tomorrow. The easiest way for me to explain this is an example like this:
You have a vacation planned in a month; it's something you need because you've
been working very hard & it's a place that you love to go to. So, for
the next month every day all you can think about is getting on that vacation,
thus you aren't present in the whole month between making the vacation plans
& when you get away. So, you lose a month out of your life .... Well,
who knows what joy you could have found in that month if you had lived each day
between the planning & the actual vacation. Life is about those
moments because you never know who you'll meet or what experiences you can
enjoy at any moment.
Another great example of not living in the moment is always saying that my life
will be better when ..... When we move, When I get that promotion or When
I get married. It's so easy to always think that the next big thing is
what's going to get us where we want to go.
I propose, instead that if you open up & let go of your attachment to the
outcome of things in your life, that each day will become a new
adventure. Each moment will be something you treasure and in response to
your opening up & living each moment the universe/God will respond by
bringing you more & more wonderful things into your life. You never
know where life is going to lead you & the next person you meet may be the
person you've needed to meet for a longtime...they could be your next boss or
the best friend you've been looking for or so many other things....open your
heart and allow the joy of each moment into your day today.
Till tomorrow,
Bill
Quote of the Day "The joy you discover in the unexpected is the most
fulling joy you can imagine"