Tuesday, July 7, 2009


One of the last things I feel we need to discuss that can hold you back from more joy in your life is anger.  Anger is a powerful emotion & can cause great struggles in most peoples lives.  I personally struggled with it for years & still on occasion I have to remind myself of the tools I use to get past anger.

Anger can be an immediate response but is usually based on past emotional triggers.  Many of triggers, if not all, are based on fears we have.  Fears that we don't let go and resolve become internalized and end up as triggers for anger.  One of the biggest of these triggers in most people is the fear of self worth.  We will tend to react with anger when someone else challenges our knowledge or decisions because we feel insecure with who we are, so rather then caving in because we feel bad about ourselves we get angry & fight to defend what we believe.  This is in an effort to try & give ourselves more self worth.  The problem with this is that even if we end up winning the argument we only end up with short term satisfaction because the base trigger is still there.

So what do I do, for me it's a multiple step process.  First I try to take a breath and realize what I'm feeling & why.  Then I try to realize that the anger I'm feeling has nothing to do with the person I'm talking to, it instead has to do with me.  In the next step I try to let the anger go and relax, I don't have a certain way of doing this, I just try to calm down and listen to the person more carefully.

Finally, after the situation is past.  I try to understand at a deeper level what set me off.  I will often discuss it with my wife, Heidi, especially if she was around when the trigger happened.  For me, this is a continuing process of learning & evolving but the release of anger & the understanding of the triggers are very important to be able to grow into a life of more joy.

Remember, the more you can let go of negative emotions & behaviors the easier it will become to have a more joyful/positive life.

Till tomorrow,


Quote of the day: "Anger is a poison of the soul, let go of the anger & reconnect with your soul"

No comments: