Kindness

I've talked in the past about love & being of service to others but I believe it all starts with kindness.  In this day & age I believe there is a movement throughout the world to be kind to one another.  We all hear about all the "bad" stuff that happens in the world. It's reported more often then ever.  I believe these imagines are of small extreme groups & doesn't speak for most of the world.  The NBC nightly news asked a few months ago for "good" stories to have on their broadcast & they ended up with enough "stories" to fill several years.  We all need to take the "bad" news with a grain of salt & believe in the best in everyone.

The movement towards more kindness in the world really gained steam with the 2000 movie "Pay it Forward".  This movie showed us all the impact of a Random Act of Kindness (RAOK) on people from all walks of life.  I believe strongly in the premise of this movie and I have seen firsthand how a simple act can make all the difference in a person day & sometimes even in their life.

I realize in this tough economy that we all have to watch the amount of money we give away & to a large extend everyone seems to need a little bit of help from Non-profits to our neighbors.  That's why the principal of RAOK rings so true to me because this simple act can be anything & doesn't have to cost you a penny or even much of your time.

Think about the next time your in a grocery store & you see a mother with 3 kids trying to get that bag of dog food......how hard is to take a minute & lift it up for her & put into under her cart.  By doing this you may make her day & by continuing to do these random acts we together can change the world.  The more positive energy we give out into the world, the positive energy the world will give back.  

Many people believe that major changes need to happen to make the world a better place. I believe instead that all it takes is for everyone of us to start being more kind.  I realize sometimes we all run into a "difficult" person & it's hard to be kind to that person.  But if you realize that everyone is a divine being trying to rediscover the love in their soul & their own connection with God/universe, you may even find a way to be kind to that difficult person.

Be the change in the world & discover how your life will change around you.  Start today with being kind to everyone you meet & practice a daily Random Act of Kindness.

Till tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "Kindness begins with each one of us.  Practice a RAOF daily & make the world a better place!"

Goals

One of the first blog's I wrote was about using a vision board to help focus daily on what you want in your life.  I use pictures & words on mine & I try to take some time everyday to focus on these images.  Along with this vision board you should also create goals and write them down.
 
In general, we are a goal oriented people & I truly believe that this isn't a bad thing.  The downside to this process is that you have to forgive yourself if you don't reach a goal within the time frame you've chosen & you need to make these goals fluid.  These two points are very important especially being fluid.  As you're living in the moment of everyday you may discover other things you want to add to your goals or move away from.  So don't become rigid in your goal setting instead stay fluid & flexible.
 
The way I go about setting goals is a multi-step process for me.  I start with trying to set goals for the day.  These are the things I want to accomplish throughout the current day.  I try to include practical things i.e: mowing the lawn & things that will help me expand & continue to open me up i.e: reading the next chapter in a book. Then I continue this same process for the week & for the month.  I always make sure to include things that will be for me, as well as the things that need to be done.  It's very important to write down the things you're going to do for yourself because these are the things that tend to be left out or cut out first & in fact they are usually the most important things to do.  Then I tend to make a list of long-term goals.  I am very loose on the timing of these long-term goals because I believe that all goals, especially long-term goals, need to be fluid.  Writing these long-term goals down can help you focus on what needs to be done now to achieve these long-term goals.  Every step you take today leads you to a new tomorrow. 
 
Goals are another way to focus your attention on what you want in your life.  By writing down your goals on a daily basis you can continue to lead a more joyful life.
 
Till tomorrow,
 
Bill
 
Quote of the day: "Open yourself to the discovery of your daily goals.  Focus on these daily goals & watch the world open up before you."

Hope

One of the brightest & best qualities we all can have to lead a more joyful/positive life is hope.  Hope has been ingrained into our culture, at least in the U.S. since the very start of our country.  We've talked before about trying to look at everything in your life from a different point of view.  This change in perspective is very important.  But we all need hope to help us find the positive in everday.

So what is hope and where does it come from?  According to dictionary.com Hope is: "the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best."  No matter what you're going through in your life or what you've been through in the past.  You need to keep hope.  Things will get better, everything has it's time & even the strongest storm comes to an end eventually.

So, how do we keep hope alive inside of us when things aren't going well?  As with so many things in our life, it starts with ourselves.  We need to take time everyday to think about hope.  Our true nature knows nothing but to be positive & joyful.  This true self (our soul) doesn't know what lack is or doesn't believe in anything negative.  So, if we can reconnect with this divine piece of ourselves we will always know that things will get better.  We will always have the feeling of hope because we know at our deepest level that God/universe will bring us to a better place.

The one drawback to hope is that it can lead us to living for tomorrow instead of living for today.  This is a razor thin difference because if we "hope for a better tomorrow" we may always be looking to tomorrow instead of finding the joy in each moment of today.  So, I believe we should always hope for a better today/now & if you're in the middle of something that doesn't seem like it's ever going to end.  The first step to change your life is to live in the current moment knowing that by believing/hoping that things will change that they will change.  Always keep hope in your heart!

Till tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "Keep hope in your heart & always believe things will get better!" 

Regrets

"Regrets I've had a few, But then again too few to mention.  I did what I had to do, And saw it through without exemption." No better way to start a blog on regrets then with a line from Frank Sinatra's song "My Way".  So, do you have regrets?  If you could go back 10 years or 20 years, would you change things?

It seems like a nice thing to think about: "If I went back 10 years ago I would do this different & my life would be better." Sound all to familiar?  Well, the problem with this is that there's no way we can go back.  As I mentioned in the blog about leaving the past in the past, I always liked the idea of Merlin in the King Arthur legend.  Merlin aged backwards so he had all the knowledge of his life (the future) as he aged.  Nice thought but not possible for us to do, at least yet.

So what's wrong with thinking about going back & changing things?  Remember that all thoughts have energy & if you're wasting your time on what could have been you're not living in the moment & you're not creating intentions of what you want in your life now.  Instead you're focusing on a negative moment & disconnecting from the energy of God/universe.  This actually can cause you to move backwards in your journey to joy.

I like the Sinatra song because that's the way I've always tried to live my life.  I have a few regrets in my life, we all make mistakes, but I've never focused on them.  I believe we are an accumulation of all of our experiences.  So, if you were able to go back & change something you'd be a different person.  I'm very happy with who I am.  It's taken me a longtime to get here but I'm very happy with who I am.  It's only through my experiences, good & bad, that have gotten me to the point that I've learned as much as I learned so I wouldn't change anything.

So, let go of regrets, heal the past & move onward to live in this moment of this day.  The past, including regrets have no power over you except the power & energy you give them.  Find joy in today & move past regrets!

Till Monday, have a great weekend.

Bill

Quote of the day: "Regrets are only thoughts that hold us back from living in the now.  Let go of your regrets & live a more joyful life!"

Self Deception

The only way to grow through the processes I have mentioned before in this blog is to be honest with yourself.  I touched on this subject briefly in my blog about honestly but I believe we should examine it more closely today.

There's a lot wrapped up in this issue.  Sometimes it's because of your self worth, sometimes it's because of EGO & sometimes it's because you've lied so much to everyone else you actually believe the lies.  The truth is that whatever the reason the first step to leading a more joyful life & reconnecting with your soul is to be honest with yourself.

I don't believe that this means being hard on yourself, part of being honest is forgiving yourself for your mistakes.  This can be a difficult thing to do but it's the first step of being honest with yourself.  Accept what you've done, forgive yourself and move forward.  Sometimes it sounds so easy to do but in life it's very difficult.  I've written before that once anything is in the past you can't change it.  You can try to make amends for your mistakes if it's appropriate but you can't change the past.  So forgive yourself, we all make mistakes & move on.

After forgiveness, to continue the process of being honest with yourself, you need to accept responsibility for all of your actions in your life.  Even those that weren't harmful to others, recognize the choices you made, don't make excuses, & accept responsibility for all of them.

Understand who you are right now & know that taking the first step is the hardest.  Moving forward will become easier with each step you take but you need to accept yourself for who you truly are & be honest with yourself before you can continue on the path to a more joyful life.  You are a divine being & there's always a way back to your divine connection.  Trust in your ability to change & become the person you know you can be.  Everything is possible & it all starts with you.

Till tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "To deceive one's self leaves you disconnected from everything.  Open your heart forgive yourself & move on to a more joyful life!"

Personal Responsibility

I had a nice discussion with @ponet on twitter yesterday regarding yesterday's blog on "Power".  During the discussion we talked about Personal Responsibility & the need in the world to shift towards reclaiming it, so I thought I'd write a blog about it today.

What are your thoughts about Personal Responsibility?  Do you think it's a problem?  Do you think it has anything to do with finding joy?  I believe there is a crisis in the world in regards to Personal Responsibility.  I think many people look to blame someone else for anything that happens to them.  They try to, in a lot of cases, profit off of a misfortune by blaming this other person.  Our society, at least in the U.S., is based on suing first & asking questions later.  I believe this is an unhealthy way to live because in many cases you're truly lying to yourself.

So what is Personal Responsibility?  To me it means accepting responsibility for your life.  We all make mistakes, it's part of bring human.  We need to accept that we made a mistake, forgive ourselves for making the mistake & move forward into a better life.

Taking responsibility for my actions was never an issue with me because I've always been honest.  But, forgiving myself for the mistakes I made took me a longtime to understand.  As I've noted in this blog before I had some issues with my Dad & I never felt like anything I did was good enough.  Therefore when I made a mistake it just played into the not being good enough feeling so I was always very hard on myself about mistakes.  

The solution to this issue has to be both parts because the only way you can move forward to a more joyful life is to accept Personal Responsibility for your actions & to forgive yourself for your mistakes. The joy you're looking for in your life comes from being true to yourself & reconnecting with your soul.  The only way to do this is to be honest to yourself & accept responsibility for your actions.

Move forward today & stop the blame game, accept responsibility for everything in your life & lead a more joyful life!

Till tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the Day: "Accept responsibility for everything in your life & forgive yourself for your mistakes.  By doing this you'll lead a more joyful life!" 

Power

I've noticed over the past few days that it seems like I've been on a "P" kick (Patience, Peace & now Power), oh well.  I've also noticed that I have been starting most blogs lately with questions.  These questions are my thoughts as I think through a subject.  Let me know if you like the idea or not.  I'm trying to be as open as I can about my thought process and how I feel about each subject I write on.  Finally, if there's questions or other topics you'd like me to write about feel free to leave me a message here or on twitter.

On to Power; do you crave power?  What is authentic power? Is power something you can create?  I find power to be something difficult to write about because many people feel that they need to be in charge & have power.

To me power is something, as with most things, that comes from within.  It can be created through a title or a job.  This creation of power isn't true power, it's only created for the workplace or for the country/government that the title pertains to.  It's very easy to abuse this power because it's not given necessarily to a person with true leadership & authentic power.  This type of power tends to corrupt the person in the role because once they have the power given to them they don't want to lose it.  Most people believe that in order to hold on to power you need to control everything.  They feel the need to know what's going on so they can prevent someone from taking their power away.

The Tao says just the opposite.  It says the way to "rule" (have power) is to let go of everything & do nothing.  People will do the right thing because basically people are good.  I truly believe in this, I have always managed the people under me through empowerment.  What this means to me is that I help them learn & trust & believe in them to do their best job.  This doesn't mean they don't make mistakes, mistakes are part of the learning process, but instead of focusing on the mistakes.  I focus on what we've learned through the process.  Through this process everyone learns & grows.

So what is authentic power?  I believe there are natural born leaders.  They are the people that everyone is naturally drawn to.  The reason why we're are drawn to these people is because they have authenic power.  They have learned to tap into the soul & connect to the true power of God/universe.  In the Tao it says when we release everything we will be given everything we can imagine.  It is through no effort that everything is accomplished.  Learn to tap into the soul & find the deep fulfilling energy of God/universe & you will never lack anything!

Till tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "Be gentle with power for true power comes from within."

Peace

I noticed in the paper today that it's the International day of peace.  I wondered what we all think about peace?  Not only world peace but the peace we have inside of us.  The peace in the way we deal with others in our life.  Have you given any thought to peace?

Like everything else in order to truly be able give or project peace we need to have it inside of us.  Every journey we begin must start with us.  So take a moment and think about peace. What are your thoughts? Can you find the quiet inside yourself? 

The soul is as deep as the ocean & by connecting with our soul we can find true peace within us.  Once we begin to know peace for ourselves we can then begin to spread peace throughout all of our life.  Deal with everyone in your life from a place of love & peace.

World peace is within our grasp if we all can bring peace into our own life.  When each of us as individuals become more loving & peaceful the world will begin to shift towards a more peaceful place. 

Most people believe the only way for large issues to be resolved is by large actions.  I believe instead that it's in the smallest steps that each of us take that truly make the difference.  All it takes is making that first step & the journey will be under way.  Join me in bringing more peace to the world.

Till tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "Together we can change the world all it takes is a small step from each us to begin the journey of change.  Start today!" 

Perfection

Are you a perfectionist?  Are you hard on yourself because you can't live up to your own expectations?  Wow, this is a tough subject matter for me because this is the way I always use to be.  As I have explained in previously, growing up I had a difficult relationship with my Dad & no matter what I accomplished in my life, it never seemed to be good enough for him.  What happened with this "not being good enough" is that it caused me to to strive to be perfect & expect that others will be perfect as well.

This is a very difficult & very damaging way to be.  Not only does it close you off but it puts you into a cycle of negative behavior that's very difficult to get out of.  Your expectations of yourself leads you to feel badly because you can't find perfection in your daily life. Then you are lead to anger because everyone else in your life can't live up to the perfection you expect from them.

How do you get out of this vicious cycle.  The way I was able to find my way out was by starting with forgiveness of myself.  Why is this important?  The truth is that none of as human beings will ever be perfect.  We make mistakes, we say & do things that we later regret.  So by forgiving yourself first and understanding that you are going to make mistakes you can start to move past this toxic behavior. 

The finally part of getting past this behavior is to love yourself & to find the good in everyone else in your life.  Remember that everyone in their core is a divine being & no matter what they do or have done in their life they are just trying to do the best they can for themselves.  There's always something you can find about them that's good.  Forgive them for making mistakes, as you forgive yourself & love them for the good that they do.

Tomorrow, I have some family stuff to take care of so I won't have time to write.  I'll be back on Monday morning.  I hope you all have a great weekend.

Bill

Quote of the day: "Release the need to be perfect. Forgive & love yourself through any mistakes you make. Live a joyful life!"

Dealing with fallow times

I've always liked the word fallow when talking about "bad' or "unproductive" times.  To me fallow is connected with nature & as I discussed in the blog on "Time" everything has it's natural time.  Today I wanted to discuss what we do during this fallow time.

I think the first thing to remember is that no matter how connected you are to God/universe there are going to be "fallow times".  Many people believe that we need these "fallow times"  to grow because it's only through struggle that we can change.  I know for me I have truly grown through my struggles but I've also grown through my daily life.  I've always tried to learn & grow in each & every day! 

I do know that if you are not connected to God/universe or if you're ignoring the messages that are coming your way.  God/universe has a way of making sure you get the message.  Sometimes that means going through "fallow times".

Once you understand that these "fallow times" are a normal part of life.  The next thing I do is try to look at what the message is that's being shown to me.  This can be difficult because you're trying to deal with the issues you have right in front of you.  What I've tried to do, just like during my daily life, is to take some quiet time & reflect on what the message is.

Once you understand the message you can deal with the things you need to learn & grow through.  Changing can be difficult for many people but God/universe will always try to give you the information you need to change.  The rest is truly up to you.

Remember that once anything happens in your life it's in the past & it can't be changed.  You may be able to make amends but you can't change what's happened.  Learn from the fallow times, let go of the past & move forward to a more joyful/positive life.

Remember that these times will pass, as in nature no storm lasts forever.  Believe in yourself & your ability to change & grow through these fallow times.

Till tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "Even in the darkest times if you look inside you can always find the light.  Grow through the challenges & lead a more joyful life" 

Believe in Miracles

Do you believe in miracles?  Do miracles happen in your life? I think with all the noise & the push to have everything quantified & proven we've lost some of the magic.  One of the ways to shift to a more joyful/positive life is to rediscover the magic in the world & of course, in your life.

Up until the industrial revolution of the last 100 years people always believed that miracles happened.  They saw miracles big & small in their daily lives but with all the new inventions & the growth of science we tend to not even look for miracles.  We get to the point where even when a miracle happens we don't believe that it's a miracle.  We think there must be a reason for what happened & we look past the wonder of the miracle.

Don't get me wrong I love the world we live in & the continued innovation that this world creates.  But, for me looking at the world as a child is the way to live.  Everything in the world to me is a wonder.  I am always amazed at the beauty around us & I see miracles happen everyday in my life.  Sometimes these miracles are small & sometimes they are just amazing.

Open your eyes to the wonder in your life.  Let go of the noises telling you that things are a certain way, become a child again & reconnect to the joy in the world.  Love with all your heart & trust that miracles happen!

Till tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day from Deepak Chopra: "Every decision I make is a choice between a grievance & a miracle.  I let go of grievances & choose miracles."

Being Yourself

Do you know who you are?  I mean truly in your soul?  Do you know what you want to do?  Do you know what you're good at?  These are all very important questions.  We've talked a lot about how to lead a more joyful/positive life over the last 3 months.  I've shared the ways that I've learned to change your life, to open your heart & to become a positive influence in this world. All of this information is great & I truly hope it helps, but the bottom line is you need to know who you are & what you want.

In the world today there's a big push to always go further, become more famous, make more money & to be a big success.  I think sometimes in all the noise of the media we think the only way to be who we are is to do more, make more, etc.  The bottom line is that none of this really matters.  No matter the pressure you feel by family, friends or co-workers you need to discover what you truly want.  I realize that this isn't always easy.  Quieting the noise around you & focusing on what is true to your heart takes time.

What I want you to realize is it doesn't matter what it is that you truly want.  If you love to be a janitor & that's what makes you happy, be a janitor.  The world goes around because each of us have our own talents & skills.  Don't get caught up in all the noise around you.  Find where your heart wants to be & do what you want to do.

I've done a lot of different things in my life.  It took me a longtime to know who I was & what I wanted to do.  The work I've done over the past 10-12 years has helped me to discover my talents & who I really am.  Before you can change your life completely you need to take time to figure out what you want & who you are.

Believe in yourself & know that once you're clear God/universe will provide what you want.  Know whatever path you want to pursue it's ok, the world needs all skills & talents to continue to grow.

Till tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "Believe in yourself & know your talents, for the world opens up to anyone who's honest with themselves."

Creativity

Do you consider yourself creative?  Is creativity part of your daily life?  These are interesting questions for everyone.  I've found that as you open up to the divine connection in your soul that everything becomes more beautiful.  If you pay attention to this new beauty in your life you can't help but to become more creative.

How does creativity work?  I think it's different for everybody.  For me I become the most creative with other creative people, that's one of the reason I've enjoyed twitter.  I enjoy bouncing ideas around with creative people & listening to their ideas.  It's this interaction that really expands my creativity.  I've always had an interesting internal dialogue in regards to creativity.  As many of you may know for the past 11 years I have done taxes for a living.  In the previous 10 years though I was a professional actor so this duality has always been hard for me.  Part of my transformation to a more joyful life was to let go of my logical mind.  I use to over analyze everything in my life.

I found that by opening myself up to creativity I could limit the over analysis of everything  in my life.  The smallest things could spark very creative things in my life.  A great book for anyone who wants to expand their creativity is "The Artists Way" by Julie Cameron if you take the time & follow the excerises in this book you will rediscover your creativity.  By expanding your creativity or rediscovering your creativity you will open yourself up to a whole new world of possibilities.

Take time to enjoy more creativity & enjoy the benefits of a more joyful life.

Till Monday,

Bill

Quote of the day: "Open your life to more creativity & enjoy the beauty of the world around you."

Dreams

Do you dream at night? Do you remember your dreams?  One of the other great ways to improve synchronicity in your life & to set your intentions is through your dreaming. As we've discussed before I'm not really into meditation, I instead use quiet time to clear my head & set my intentions.  But, one of the other things I do before I fall asleep is to clear my mind, think positive thoughts & set my intentions.  To me this works wonders because you have hours while your sleeping to think about positive things & to have your intentions working for you with no other distractions.

Most of you may be wondering how you "control" your dreams to do this.  I don't really try to control my dreams all I do is clear my head of the day, recall the positive things that happened for the day & the things I'm grateful for.  I always do this "clearing of my head" in the last few minutes before I fall asleep.  I believe by taking this time to let go of anything that's bad or troubling & I set myself up for another wonderful, joyful day.

The second part of this process for me is to pay attention to what I dream.  Some people keep a journal near their bed so when they wake up they can write down what they dreamed.  This works very well for a lot of people.  For me, I've learned that if I have a dream that I remember in the morning it's important to pay attention to it.  In other words if I don't remember a dream or if I don't dream it's not something I need to know.  Whatever works best for you is great, in the beginning using the journal may work best for you.

The point behind this is that since your EGO isn't normally involved in your dreaming you can start to see things in your dreams that will lead you to snychronistic events during your waking day.  Pay attention to your dreams for God/universe will help show you the path to a more joyful life.

Till tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "Your dreams are the key to unlocking true joy in your life.  Pay attention to your dreams & open yourself to more snychronicity."

Motivation

What Motivates you?  How do you stay motivated?  These are questions I've gotten from several people over the last few months.  There's not an easy answer for this because with me as with most people I find motivation in several different places.

We all have days that we're not as motivated as other days & sometimes there are days where we don't feel like doing much of anything.  To me these are all part of the natural cycle of nature.  We all have good times & we also have bad times.  We need to have both to learn to enjoy the good times, I wrote about this in my "Opposites" blog a week or so ago.  No matter how connected you are to God/universe you will still have this natural cycle.  The difference is the more you are connected to God/universe the more you'll understand why you are having a bad time and this connection will also make the bad times shorter & easier to take.

So back to motivation, in my daily life I have several things that I tend to need motivation to deal with.  The first is the day in general.  The way I deal with this is two fold.  The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is lay in bed and be grateful for another day.  Then I thank God/universe for all the amazing things that are going to happen to me today.  The second part of my daily motivation is to pay attention, for the first few hours of everyday I pay attention to as many small things as I can.  In these small things I find positive things.  It could be just a feeling I get from reading something or the smell of the State park that I ride through on my bike.  Between these two things I tend to start the day very positive & this feeling sets the tone for the rest of the day.

The next thing I need motivation for on a daily basis is my bike riding.  Many of you know that I've been riding my bike every morning for the last couple of months.  I am currently riding 30 miles a day through the State park that's about 5 miles from our home.  But this riding is not always easy for me.  There are mornings when I wake up that I just ache & I really don't want to get on the bike & ride.  The motivation I use for this is also two fold.  I first tell myself the benefits of riding the bike.  I talk to myself about how this will help my physical conditioning & overall health.  The second thing I do is tap into my competitive nature.  I tell myself that I'm not going to let this ride beat me.  I'm going to make it through no matter how tough it becomes.

The final thing I need daily motivation for is looking through job ads.  As many of you know I've been laid off for 3 months now & on a daily basis I go through 100 - 150 job ads looking for jobs I believe are a match for me.  If any of you have done this, it's very dull & not a lot of fun.  My motivation is again is looking for the positive, I try to tell myself that the prefect job will be found in this daily review of ads.  I believe that only through the action of looking can I find the perfect job even if this job isn't in the ads I review.  Action often sets things in motion with God/universe.

The bottom line with motivation should be whatever works best for you.  I believe by finding the positive in everything situation you can always find some motivation.  This motivation adds to your overall joyful/positive life because the more motivated you are the better you'll feel about anything that comes into your life.

Until tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "Find motivation in the small things everyday.  For true motivation will lift you to a more positive life." 

Control

Control is an issue we've touched on before but I believe we should take a deeper look at today.  What is Control?  Do you consider yourself controlling? Do you feel like you have to have control over everything in your life?  Let's take a look at each one of these questions & see how each relates to the issue of control.

Control to me is taking over everything in your life.  Making everything work on your schedule with no margin for error.  If your in a relationship or have children it includes the need to know what they are doing & where they are at every minute of everyday.  Do you get upset if things don't go exactly according to plan?  Do you feel like you can't handle anything happening outside of your plan?  These questions may open your eyes to the second question whether or not you are controlling.  The first step to letting go of control in your life is to understand that you are controlling or that you need to have control in your life. These are slightly different issues of the same coin.  The need to have control is slightly different then being controlling.  The answer to needing control can be a past issue that you need to work through.

I have never been a person that needed control in his life.  I've always tried to enjoy the now but there were times in my life when I decided to take control of a certain issue.  I made up my mind that I was going to make this happen no matter what.  Unfortunately, I've found out the hard way that this isn't the best way to be.  I usually was able to make things happen & I would end up getting what I wanted but most of the time it was never what I thought it was going to be. 

One of the best examples of this would be a job.  I decided I wanted a certain job & did everything I could to make sure I got this job.  The once I had the job it wasn't what I thought it would be at all.  In fact it turned out to be a job that I didn't want at all.

So why did this happen?  Control, negates everything good in the universe.  It destroys synchronicity and the natural flow of things.  You may feel like you're happy because things are the way you want them to be.  But, the truth is that if you let go of control & become one with God/universe your life will unfold into a new an amazing life that you can only imagine.

Letting go of control doesn't mean not doing anything.  It simply means letting things happen as they should not making them happen.  For true fulfillment in your life you need to let go of control & release your desires into the universe.  The end result of this will be a more joyful/positive life.

Till Tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "Release the need for control in your life.  Allow the universe to work for you & you will discover a more joyful life."

Service to Others

On this "Labor Day" in the US I thought it was time to write about the most important way to have a more joyful/positive life.  That way is service to others, what does service to others mean?  I think it means whatever you'd like it to mean but, to me, it means giving of yourself to someone else.  This can be through volunteering with a local charity or shelter. It can mean helping a neighbor or someone stuck on the side of the road.  It may also mean service to your country either in the active military or through organizations like the Peace Corps.

The bottom line to me, is that you give of yourself to others.  This giving of ones self opens you up to receive everything you give back in a new & wondrous way.  I know what you're thinking....I have a very busy life how am I suppose to find time to volunteer or give to someone else?  Well, I used that excuse before in my life.  The act of "service to others" doesn't mean that you have to set-up a time to volunteer every week or squeeze it into a small piece of time around everything else you're doing.  It means to open yourself to others understanding that we are all divine beings & all connected.  The way you do this is truly up to you, it's the idea of looking first to give, first to help that will bring more joy to your life.  The rewards you receive from helping others far out weigh anything that you give up.

Find a way to be in service to others today & your life will begin to change around you!

Finally, a small side note:  To all our service men & women who are in action across this wonderful world of ours or who are home after serving their time to their country.  Thank you for your service & sacrifice to help keep this country & the world free. 

Until tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "Giving of ones self in service to another is truly the greatest gift of love you can ever give."

Judging Others

Do you judge others?  Do look at someone & immediately say they are this or they are that?  Do you put everyone in your life into boxes?  This person is my friend but not a good friend because of xyz.  This person isn't that bright.  Be honest with yourself, is this what you do?

Judging others & giving them labels is one of the quickest ways to disconnect from God/universe but one of the easiest things to fall into.  The reason why we feel comfortable in judging people is because of our EGO.  We feel better if we can put other people in a box & especially a box that's not as good as me.

The 5th verse of Tao Te Ching states: "Heaven & earth are impartial; they see the 10,000 things as straw dogs.  The sage is not sentimental; he treats all his people as straw dogs.  The sage is like heaven & earth; To him none are especially dear, nor is there anyone he disfavors.  He gives & gives, without condition, offering his treasures to everyone.  Between heaven & earth is a space like a bellows; empty & inexhaustible, the more it is used, the more it produces.  Hold on to the center.  Man was made to sit quietly & find the truth within."

What does this mean to me?  We are all the same, we are all divine beings created by a Divine source.  On a very basic level we are all energy & our energy is connected to everything & everyone.  If you look for the divine in everyone you meet you will not be inclined to judge.

The old adage "You can't judge a book by it's cover" is very true & you'll never know what someone can bring into your life unless you listen with an open heart.  Move past the EGO & into your soul, for in your soul we are all one!

Have a great weekend!  Till Monday,


Bill

Quote of the day: "We are all divine beings created from a divine source.  Open your heart to others & let go of judgment."

Resistance

What's your biggest resistance?  What daily actions do you take that you feel resistance to?  Resistance is an interesting Paradox most people think that when they have an automatic resistance to something that there's a good reason for it.  I disagree, the only time that resistance has a deeper meaning is when you are living in the moment & connected to your soul.

So what is resistance?  It's the EGO's fear of change or anything that's different.  One of the quickest ways to change your life to a more joyful/positive life is to pay attention to the things you quickly resist.  This resistance is normally old patterned behavior that the EGO doesn't want to let go of. 

Remember from the blog I wrote on the "EGO" that the EGO lies.  It wants what's easiest & doesn't want change.  Resistance is one of it's first lines of defense, that's why paying attention to it is so important.

In "Perception" we talked a lot about the way you filter everything that comes into your life.  Most of this information is stuff that has been ingrained in us since we were a child.  The battle we always have as we move to enlightenment is to be able to leave the messages we learned, but that don't ring true to our soul, behind.  Most of our automatic reactions are learned behavior.  So, if your parents were prejudice against African-Americans until you unlearn that prejudice & challenge it, your first reaction is to feel uncomfortable or worse around African-Americans.

I'm not trying to imply that everything you learned as a child is wrong.  Instead I'm trying to point out how difficult it is to move past those automatic responses.  The best way to do this is by paying attention to resistance.  Resistance is the first marker of fear, if we can move past these automatic responses, past resistance & beyond fear we can lead a more joyful/positive & fulfilling life.

Until Tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "Resistance is the language of the EGO, move past resistance and lead a more joyful life."

Opposites

Have you ever thought about the opposite side of you?  Do you accept your negative emotions?  How about your negative behavior?  Can you look at yourself honestly in the mirror?

The whole natural world is created on opposites, otherwise it wouldn't exist.  There has to be a winter in order to have a summer, light to dispel the darkness.  In Chinese philosophy this is shown with the symbol of Yin & Yang which many of us have seen or know.  The idea behind Yin & Yang is that there is a balance to everything & in order to be a whole person we need this balance as well.

The questions I asked above may be difficult questions for some, but in order to grow & have a more joyful/positive life we need to accept & acknowledge our negative side.  If instead we choose to just bury it or ignore it.  The negative will always come back into our lives & it will continue to hold us back.

When I wrote the blog entitled "reflections" I mentioned how people will come into your life that annoy you right away & that these people are reflecting a piece of yourself back to you that you don't want to acknowledge or that you don't like about yourself.  This will always be the case God/universe will always find away to bring back these negative emotions until you accept these emotions as part of who you are.

For a lot of my younger life I was known to have a very bad temper.  I didn't get angry often but when I did get angry I would get very angry.  There were many reasons for this but most of it centered around my feelings of insecurity & not feeling good enough.  What happened to me in order to defend my point, so I wouldn't feel like I was wrong, was I got very loud & angry.  Until I accepted this negative behavior & until I resolved my insecurities I couldn't move past this negative emotion.  I still have, on a very rare occasion, this negative emotion. It will always be a part of me.  But now that I understand it & accept it, I'm able to live a more joyful/positive life.

There are many more examples of this not only in my life but in all your lives.  In order to love greatly you need to know hate.  In order to know good times you have to have experienced bad times.  This balance is always there and necessary.

Look into your soul & accept all the negative as an equal part of who you are.  By accepting & understanding this "dark side" of you, you can expand your joy & live a more positive/joyful life.

Until tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "We are all made up of light & dark, accept both parts of yourself & you will grow to have a more joyful life."

Being "Not good enough"

Over the last 3 months I have tried to discuss many broad issues that occurred in my life.  I've tried to guide you through the things I've learned to help all of you live a more joyful/positive life.  It occurred to me the other day that the one subject I haven't really touched on is the subject that had an overriding effect on my life.  The feeling of not being good enough.  I realized that this issue is probably common amongst all of us, so here we go.

I believe parents in general don't try to cause issues with their children & often they believe that what they are doing or saying will truly help.  That was not the case for me.  I have mentioned before that growing up I had a difficult relationship with my father.  The bottom line was that it seemed to me that no matter what I did it wasn't good enough for him & to me, the approval of my father was very important.

This caused a great deal of issues in my life.  There was a positive side to it, it gave me an undying will to push on & prove him wrong.  But, no matter how much success I had in my life (personally or professionally) it never felt satisfying.  I was outwardly very self confident & successful but inside I was the little boy who just wanted to know he did good.  This need for approval at times would disrupt my life & make it more difficult to move forward with my life.

So, how did I get through this? & what can you do if you feel the same way? I first started to truly deal with this issue with the death of my father in 2006.  I was overwhelmed with grief and never truly understood why.  It took me nearly a year of "working through" this grief before I realized that part of the grief was the fact that I would never hear him say "you did a great job".  Although this process helped me the true turning point was in 2007 when I hired Susie Wise-Peterson as my life coach.  When these issues would come come up she would ask me just one question "How's that working for you, Bill?".  I realized then that I was holding onto something that was only holding me back.  I knew that I could never grow into the person I wanted to be without letting go of this need for approval.

So how did I get past it?  I spent a lot of time thinking about that question & the bottom was this:  First I wrote my Dad a letter saying to him that I realized that he was only trying to do his best & that I forgave him for making me feel like I was never good enough.  I also spent a lot of quiet time thinking about how he would respond to the letter.  Then and only then I brought that insecure feeling to my heart.  I felt the fear, I felt like that little boy who just wanted his Daddy to love him and then I let it go!  I told myself this is not me, this feeling wasn't working for me & I am good person.  Then anytime after that when a situation came up & I began to feel those old feelings I continued to let them go.  I changed my thoughts to all the successes I've had in my life.  This change in thought & the reattachment of success instead of the feeling of not being good enough changed my first thoughts to the successes I've accomplished.  I no longer feel that emptiness.  I had moved past this issue by forgiveness, letting the issue go & changing my thoughts.

You can move through any past issue by trusting in this process.  Remember that we are all divine beings we can do anything we set our mind to.  Believe in yourself because God/universe believes in you!

Till tomorrow,

Bill

Quote of the day: "You are a beautiful divine being who can accomplish anything you put your mind to! Believe in yourself, find joy today!!